BetterMost Community Blogs > My "Great White North"
Bitch, Bitch, Bitch
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: injest on July 30, 2008, 10:59:32 pm ---oh DEL
:'( :'( :'( :'(
I wish I had more to offer
{{{{Del}}}}}
I hope you know you are very much in my thoughts....You are doing a great job. I know you are doing your level best and you deserve to have that acknowledged. I am so proud of you for your strength but I know sometimes you get tired of carrying the load for everyone.
:'( :'(
--- End quote ---
Thanks babe. You do help a lot. Actually it's really nice when I have bad days to simply know that you guys are here.
I'm being patient. I've written off my sister as being much help at anything. It's worthless making plans with her, because she'll agree, and then pretty much do whatever she wants anyway (to make sure my mother had someone visit her at least 6 days a week, along with nurses and rehab guy, my sister and I alternated days, that way our mother was covered...well I made plans that we were to alternate days. I think my sister kept that up for about a week. Now she pretty much shows up whenever it's convenient for her >:()
My mother - as in the example tonight - needs something the next day, my sister is supposed to come over tomorrow morning...but I can't reach her so she can bring this item because she doesn't have vm. I left a nasty message on her work vm
Other times, my mother needs her to bring something, so I call her or e-mail her at work with a list. I say, "write this down" or "print this out".
Does she?
No.
I arrive at the house, fully expecting X to be there just to be told by my mother that when asked, my sister replied, "Oh, I forgot." >:( >:(
My mother's lawn needs watering. It took my sister three weeks of reminding before she finally bought a waterhose for my mother. I had given up on her and had bought my own, then had to go get a refund.
She's power of attorney, executor of the estate and has done nothing to find hospice care for my mother. I'm doing all the research into that.
My mother I forgive a lot more despite the hurtful things she says. She's sick and so is self-absorbed, she wants what she wants and nothing is ever good enough. Trouble is, I grew up with the idea of not being good enough, being called stupid, and have spent my entire life proving to myself and the world at large that I'm not stupid and can be good enough so her attitude does not give me warm fuzzies.
So, life is not very pleasant right now, but at least my friends online and real (for the most part anyway) have all stepped in to offer to help out or cheer me up.
And that does mean a lot. :)
injest:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on July 30, 2008, 11:29:15 pm ---Thanks babe. You do help a lot. Actually it's really nice when I have bad days to simply know that you guys are here.
I'm being patient. I've written off my sister as being much help at anything. It's worthless making plans with her, because she'll agree, and then pretty much do whatever she wants anyway (to make sure my mother had someone visit her at least 6 days a week, along with nurses and rehab guy, my sister and I alternated days, that way our mother was covered...well I made plans that we were to alternate days. I think my sister kept that up for about a week. Now she pretty much shows up whenever it's convenient for her >:()
My mother - as in the example tonight - needs something the next day, my sister is supposed to come over tomorrow morning...but I can't reach her so she can bring this item because she doesn't have vm. I left a nasty message on her work vm
Other times, my mother needs her to bring something, so I call her or e-mail her at work with a list. I say, "write this down" or "print this out".
Does she?
No.
I arrive at the house, fully expecting X to be there just to be told by my mother that when asked, my sister replied, "Oh, I forgot." >:( >:(
My mother's lawn needs watering. It took my sister three weeks of reminding before she finally bought a waterhose for my mother. I had given up on her and had bought my own, then had to go get a refund.
She's power of attorney, executor of the estate and has done nothing to find hospice care for my mother. I'm doing all the research into that.
My mother I forgive a lot more despite the hurtful things she says. She's sick and so is self-absorbed, she wants what she wants and nothing is ever good enough. Trouble is, I grew up with the idea of not being good enough, being called stupid, and have spent my entire life proving to myself and the world at large that I'm not stupid and can be good enough so her attitude does not give me warm fuzzies.
So, life is not very pleasant right now, but at least my friends online and real (for the most part anyway) have all stepped in to offer to help out or cheer me up.
And that does mean a lot. :)
--- End quote ---
ARGH!! Is Mom not willing to change that? If you are having to do the leg work you should have the power.
And yes, be as patient as you can with your mom...in the future it WILL pay off. I know that aint' gonna be easy...
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: injest on July 30, 2008, 11:38:21 pm ---ARGH!! Is Mom not willing to change that? If you are having to do the leg work you should have the power.
And yes, be as patient as you can with your mom...in the future it WILL pay off. I know that aint' gonna be easy...
--- End quote ---
She is willing, but she was afraid my sister would make a big stink about it, having been jealous of me all these years...I never realized it, being rather oblivious about such things, but my mother and several friends finally pointed it out when my sister's behavior toward me was puzzlingly hostile.
Yes, I bitch bitch bitch here and to my friends, never to my mother. I know she can't help it, so I just disregard it and keep a cheerful attitude around her. But it is hard.
injest:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on July 30, 2008, 11:42:08 pm ---She is willing, but she was afraid my sister would make a big stink about it, having been jealous of me all these years...I never realized it, being rather oblivious about such things, but my mother and several friends finally pointed it out when my sister's behavior toward me was puzzlingly hostile.
Yes, I bitch bitch bitch here and to my friends, never to my mother. I know she can't help it, so I just disregard it and keep a cheerful attitude around her. But it is hard.
--- End quote ---
well it can be hard to see things when you are so close to them, Del. You grew up in a toxic atmosphere...hard to see clearly thru that mess isn't it?
it is good to have somewhere to vent...you know you are always welcome to come fuss. Do it as often as you need to...then go give them heck in Current Affairs!
:laugh: :laugh:
Kelda:
Oh dear Del, big hugs and kisses from me.... you're not having an easy time of it.
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