Just an update on my friend and her pregnant daughter situation.
Just when you thought a train wreck couldn't get any worse...I'm detached now, watching with horrified fascination as this Jerry Springer episode appears to be morphing into a CSI episode.
The mother, my friend, is at least talking and acting disgusted and ticked at her daughter now.
Mind you the daughter isn't a teenager. She is pushing mid-20's now.
Well, the daughter wasn't actually dancing
topless - she was dancing in one of those
fully nude clubs. Is there a sleazier occupation that is still legal?
The daughter had been diagnosed a few years ago with some female problem that her doctor cautioned her would make it difficult to conceive...so in this age of AIDS, herpes, ovarian cancer viruses, her daughter wasn't using any birth control whatsoever.
And
mirable dictu, what a shocker, she ends up pregnant.
Considering what an accomplished liar the daughter has turned out to be, it's hard to put stock in
anything she says, but now she is saying that the father isn't her current no-account unemployed boyfriend. It's another ex-lover, this one is from an abusive family that he 'doesn't like to talk about'. This man reacted very badly to their breakup, he's already stalked her and has a police record.
My friend told her daughter NOT to tell this guy she was carrying his child.
(Personally, considering how this girl sleeps around, I wonder if she even
knows whose child she's carrying)
So, her daughter was planning on coming down to Texas with her bum boyfriend. Turns out though, the bum is divorced and has joint custody of his son. Well, he can't leave the state without making new custodial arrangements. But of course, he's unemployed and can't get the legal paperwork together and afford to hire a family lawyer. And he's not going to give up his custody rights. So he's already told her he's not leaving the state.
Now the daughter, being a pathetic excuse for a human being, whose mother's talk about being one's own woman and being independent registered not a whit in her empty head, decided she can't leave the state without a man or something with 3 good legs.
She went back to her ex-boyfriend - the sweet, recovering alcoholic boyfriend - and told him she still loved him and did he want to come to Texas with her to raise another man's child?
Well, she fucked him over so much, and he knows her so well, he knew she was lying and wisely said NO! to her face.
So pissed, and desperate for a man - ANY man apparently - she ignored her mother's advice and common sanity and went to the stalker ex-lover, told him everything and asked him to come to Texas with her and be a father to their child. The fact that he's controlling, had threatened to kill her ex-lovers and threatened to commit suicide when she first left him, and they do nothing but fight, did not overcome the most important fact that he has, in fact, a penis.
So, seeing as he is in LURV with her, he said, no problem, and jumped at the chance.
My friend put her foot down. She was willing to take in her daughter and the - by comparison - innocuous bum boyfriend, but she is NOT taking in this type of man.
I told her this was turning out to be a very dangerous situation. The man has already threatened with violence people around the daughter and himself. It was just a matter of time/stress/the daughter being uncontrollable by him before he turns that violence on her and possibly the child as well.
You read about this stuff all the time.
My friend is furious.
I urged Tough Love - telling her daughter that she's a big girl and this situation is something she wanted, so she needs to take on all the responsibilities thereof (i.e. get a job and have her baby without any financial help from her mother) - and that may bring the daughter to her senses if she realizes she'll be living in shelters while pregnant, and decide to abort or give the child up for adoption. Otherwise, IMO my friend is just adding to the problem, offering to help her out.
Don't know what my friend is going to do, but sadly, it won't be what she
needs to do.