TOTW 07/07: Was Mr. Twist homophobic?

[Front-Ranger]

That is one thing that made father and I... get closer together: his acceptance of I being gay !! But I still did not talk to him about it nor afterwards, at no time at all - so are we gay men too afraid or too secretive ??

I loved this anecdote about your father, Artiste!! And, you've answered your own question! Definitely yes, gay men are too afraid AND secretive. Granted, you have to be cautious when you're in a bar with a bunch of rednecks, but any other time, why not be yourself? There are very few reasons not to, and there are many many good reasons to be honest and open about who you are...for yourself and for future generations.  Sometimes we just need the right words. Like, lesbians have special jewelry. And in the movie Shelter which I saw recently, when Zach's best friend finds out he's gay, Zach hides himself away from his friend. His friend had to go see Zach as he was just getting off work to tell him nothing had changed, they were still best friends. What a great movie!

One of the things Annie did in her story was explore these words that men can say to each other. The scene at the Siesta Motel was much longer for this reason.

[Artiste]

Merci Front-Ranger !

Your post is interesting!

Indeed gay men and others have to be cautious in many ways !!

What do you think of Mrs. Twist words ?

And, too, Mr. Twist words ?

When Ennis went there... to see them !!

Mrs. and Mrs. Twist were the host to Ennis, and they received well their visitor ??
Au revoir,
hugs!

[Artiste]

I always feel that being gay is to guide, is that so ??

Somehow ?

Mrs. Twist guides Ennis.

Mr. Twist tries to guide Ennis too ?

Au revoir,
hugs!

[Artiste]

I figure that it is my destiny being a homosexual man !

So why change that?

And why go against it?

It seems to me that both Mr. and Mrs. Twist  accepts Jack being a homosexual... with their love !! ??

And Jack accepts his homosexuality ! ?

Au revoir,
hugs!  If I do not accept my destiny being a gay man, than any other man, straight or other, can not accept themselves, neither !! ??

[serious crayons]

When I compare teenagers of today with my youth, it seems we parents have it pretty easy.

Seriously, F-R? Wow, I have just the opposite opinion. You are a lucky mother! 

But I am concerned that people are learning to substitute virtual experiences, such as movies, tv, and video games, for real life relationships.

... and online message boards?    I know what you mean, though, and I fear the same thing.

[brokeplex]

That is a very difficult question.If the society we live in had become more tolerant by that stage,then the answer would be no,I would not avail myself of any such treatment.
If it ever became possible then we presumably are talking some time in the future,And I live in hope that one day people will be more accepting.
If society is as non accepting as it is now,I truly do not know the answer.

No mother or indeed father wants their child to suffer in any form for whatever reason.My oldest son is bi polar as most here know.If I could have had a miracle treatment for that which would alter his D.N.A would I have,probably is the answer.He has been bullied from day 1 at school a he is so different.His life is hard,and so is mine dealing with his violent outbursts.
He cannot help it in the same way that homosexuals cannot.However that does not stop a large percentage of the world being cruel.I still say we need to educate people in tolerance and acceptance,not try to change the person who is bing persecuted.
I look to my ex husband who was gay.We are still in regular contact,despite being divorced for nearly 20 years now.He is the kindest,most decent lovely human you could ever hope to know.Even my strict Catholic parents still love him,They exchange Xmas cards each year.There is nothing not to love about him.
However mine and my parents reaction to him was not the norm.When he came out most of his "friends" vanished.
I remember him comming round to see me one evening in tears after a truly hideous incident.He did not deserve the treatment he got.He was and still is worth 1 million of the ignorant thugs who hurt him.
So would I want that to happen to either of my sons, or daughter ,hell no !!! It would break my heart.But then if he/she had been "treated" they would not be the children I know and love.I also know that much as I want to,I cannot protect them from everything.

I think until it actually happens to you,it is impossible to predict how you would react. When I was divorced from my 1st husband,a lot of my friends thought it odd that I did not hate him. Why, he was still the same man I fell in love with.
When I was pregnant with my daughter,I was offered a test for Downs syndrome because I was an old mother at 40.I refused it,because after much discusion with my husband we decided we would keep the baby no matter what the results of the test,so there was no point.
So I am going to sit on the fence here and say,I would probably refuse the test that would put me in the position to have to choose in the first place.I can say that in all honesty because it is exactly what I did with the Downs syndrome test.

that is a fair answer and it shows that you have given this issue quite a bit of thought.

I am a believer that God makes us by His will. We are who and what we are because of His wisdom and mercy. Gay people have always been subject to varying amounts of censorship and harassment. Any tiny minority is usually treated differently, and even if the majority community tried with all of its heart and all of its mind to be inclusive and positive in its treatment of gays, we will always be a small minority out of synch in many ways with the majority. micro example: take a typical office full the straights who will have pictures of their wives, or husbands and their children on their desks. The gay man or lesbian in that office will stand out as having the one desk with the one picture of someone of the same sex. A little thing, I know, but indicative of just how very much we stand out in all aspects of our lives from grocery shopping, theater going, POLITICAL CAUCUSING  , car washing, I can go on and on. In the end, I believe that it is God's will for us to carry this burden/opportunity. God gave us, because of our outsider status, a special insight to the world around us, think of all of the artists, composers, writers, and other creative people who were and are gay. Sometime it appears that gays are way out of proportion to our actual population in some of the professions. Why? maybe a special insight?

I think that the compassionate thing to do, is to let nature take its course. A son or daughter who is born gay or lesbian is that way naturally. And in spite of the challenges, they will probably lead an exciting, productive and creative life.

[Artiste]

Merci beaucoup broketrash !

You say:
       I think that the compassionate thing to do, is to let nature take its course. A son or daughter who is born gay or lesbian is that way naturally. And in spite of the challenges, they will probably lead an exciting, productive and creative life. 
 
 
         

..............

Broketrash, may I agree and hope with you that that is so and will be for all gays and lesbians !!

Do you think that Mr. Twist, that it took him so time to accept Jack as an homosexual ?

Au revoir,
hugs!

[optom3]

Florida is anti-gay?? Maybe you're just in the wrong part of Florida! If your son is gay, why doesn't the whole family consider moving?

My son is a teenager, and he doesn't appear to be gay. In fact, he doesn't seem to have much of a libido at all. When I compare teenagers of today with my youth, it seems we parents have it pretty easy. But I am concerned that people are learning to substitute virtual experiences, such as movies, tv, and video games, for real life relationships.

Florida seems to be anti a lot of things.Or maybe it is the kids my oldest son is hanging round with at school.He has over the past year come out with some things which I find deeply offensive.
Not just about gays,but also ethnic minorities,you name it.He did not learn this at home so I can only draw one conclusion.
Maybe I am being unfair in judging Florida it is just I have heard quite a bit of that sort of talk while we have been here.The right wing seem to be anti everything.Some of the talk radio shows are positively scary.
Yet these same people fill the churches every Sunday.!!!!??

We could not move at the moment as the Visa that keeps us here is attached to the business we bought here.Anyway why move,I would prefer to try and convert people to my view.

I do not know how my middle son will eventually turn out,and I dont care.I will love him with all my heart whatever.I just hope that if he is gay,he is not subjected to the sort of foul talk at school,that I have heard my older son come out with.
I am ashamed to the core. of some of the things the oldest has said,and I will not sully a discussion by posting them.As old as he is,I have tried to reason with him.He of all people,with all his problems should be the last person to judge anyone.he should also be more aware of how hurtful that sort of talk is.He has been on the receiving end of some verbal bullying himself.

I hope it is some sort of teenage thing which he grows out of, but until he does he will continue to get the sharp end of my tongue every time I hear it.

That is the same whatever the prejudice,be it racial,religious or sexual.It is all wrong in my book.

[Front-Ranger]

Seriously, F-R? Wow, I have just the opposite opinion. You are a lucky mother! 

... and online message boards?    I know what you mean, though, and I fear the same thing.

True, serious... ( )  There was an article about MySplace today in the newspaper, about how children who have a site should be monitored. About how they might read about <gasp> underage drinking. I have a different view. I got myself a MySpace page and I am friends with my son. So, I can read all his posts and he can read my pitiful 6 posts. I have one other friend on MySpace...my son's tennis buddy LOL! The most scandalous thing I am finding out is that there are quite a few girls out there who are chasing my son in a very aggressive manner. I talked to him about it, and he finds their behavior despicable. A lesson to be learned...my son will not give in to the whims of any of these girls.

[serious crayons]

The most scandalous thing I am finding out is that there are quite a few girls out there who are chasing my son in a very aggressive manner. I talked to him about it, and he finds their behavior despicable.

Same thing is happening to my son, at 13, and he does not find it despicable! 

It's true that if my kids engaged in even half of my own adolescent activities I'd have a heart attack. But kids these days are exposed to so much, they're far more sophisticated than I was. I just have to hope they are extremely sensible. But then, what teenager is, at least all the time?

As for MySpace ... reading the New Yorker piece about that 14-year-old girl who killed herself after her so-called friends taunted her with an invented MySpace boy, I thought of the potential for cruelty and hurt feelings. Middle-schoolers of all generations have a high cruelty potential, only now they can broadcast it to the world.