Author Topic: telling people off  (Read 12583 times)

injest

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Re: telling people off
« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2008, 11:11:36 pm »
{{{Jess}}} I can certainly empathise with you there. There were only ever two people in my family who I really cared for and loved, and they were my darling parents (both deceased). I'm their youngest, the child of their old age. They loved me unconditionally, as I loved them. And that was enough for me.

you were very lucky to have that.

Offline forsythia12

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Re: telling people off
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2008, 01:13:07 am »
well, i can get along well with my family, but i've got two older sisters, (both 10yrs older) and they still think i'm the baby, and they can say things that piss me off at times.  ...but i rarely say anything because i can usually shake it off, or ignore it, and i hate confrontations with them.  they aren't mean, i love them dearly, but we're sisters, and i guess that's what some families are like.  but, for a long time i felt like they were twins, and i was the odd one out.  and, since they were so much older than me, the spoke for me, diciplined me, and helped raise me, so it took a long time to develope a voice of my own.  i'm still often usure of how i feel at times, and what i want to say.  i often second guess myself, and if i do stand up for myself, i usually make a bigger issue of it than it was meant to be, and end up looking like a freak.  lol
for the most part, we get a long great, it's just sometimes this can happen. 
i have a tendency to overreact when teased, and sometimes can't take a joke, and so people think i'm really serious all the time....but i rarely say what i'm really thinking, and usually just stay quiet.  not sure if that's 'healthy' but i don't feel like i have a lot of anger inside..and when i do feel angry, it doesn't feel like i'm burrying it, but rather it just passes after a little while.....
anytime i've spoken up, i've wished i hadn't. 
i am better with strangers though.  if someone is rude to me, i definately say something.  i guess since i'll probably never see them again, or have nothing invested in a relationship with them, so it's easier. 

Offline optom3

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Re: telling people off
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2008, 03:35:13 pm »
Forsythia, I am a lot like you.  I find I am easily hurt by teasing, especially if the person doing the teasing is someone who loves me and knows my weaknesses.  This feared vulnerability makes it hard for me to open up to people.  My anger can be extreme but also burns itself out very quickly and I often regret it if I let it out too strongly before it starts to subside.  Like you, I am more verbal with strangers who are being unfair or unkind (they can't hurt me emotionally), but I have learned to hold some of that back as well because people are crazy in today's world and I have developed a healthy fear of random acts of violence.


I am a mix of 2 people.No surprises there.With strangers,particularly on the phone I can be incredibly rude if the situation warrants it. So much so my husband makes me do all the complaint phone calls.When I had my practice back in England I used to have to put up with exceptionally rude patients.I used to blow on a regular basis.Then one day I realised that I could gain the upper hand far more effectively,by being extraordinarily pleasant,to the rude ones.It takes the wind out of their sales completely.The more nasty they were,the more nauseatingly pleasant/sarcastic I was.
I loved the fact that they thought they had won,when in fact,I knew I had.On one occasion, a patient really went completely off on one.She could not see anything,she claimed through her new glasses.She just ranted on ad nauseum.I waited,then when she paused for breath,told her how impressed I was that she had managed to negotiate her way back to the test room,when she was in effect,blind.In fact I was so impressed I was
 going to completely refund her, and pay for a taxi home so that she would not have to negotiate public transport,in such a precarious fashion again.
She in turn replied that she would not give me the steam off her turd !!!!!! I maintained my calm,albeit with difficulty,and informed her that I could not recall asking her for it.She was still not finished though,and had the nerve to ask to keep the new specs.Having previously,told me she could see nothing in them,I informed her,that I could not in all conscience,let her keep such a dangerous pair of specs.I would never forgive myself,if she walked under a bus wearing them,because she simply did not see it.!!!!!
Suffice it to say,she left.There had been nothing wrong with the specs,she just wanted some money back.Which she duly got,but then had to suffer the inconvenience of finding a new optometrist and getting new specs.In the meantime I contacted all the local optometrists,and told them to avoid her like the plague.
Surprise,she arrived back at my practice about a month later,saying perhaps she should try again with the specs we had made.I told her they had been dismantled, unfortunately,so no deal.She then tried to convince me to re test her so she could get some specs.Unfortunately,I was booked solid for weeks.
I have no idea how far she had to travel to find a new optometrist,but I am guessing a good way.
I wish I could be more like that with my family,but I somehow can't manage it.I either blow,all too easily,or suffer in silence,letting it all build up,till I really blow.As for friends I am useless.I can never say no,even if it means a complete inconvenience for me.That is actually one of my new years resolutions.But i am not doing so well with it so far!!!!!
So completely schizo. I would say is my way.Either rampaging bull or complete doormat.