Fantasy Scenes

[jpwagoneer1964]

Some folks may not think so but Ah thought Jack wife was real nice ta me. Hope'n it was a mistake at the post office 'n all an she talk'd ta me real polite 'n all, told me what happened. Didn't say what it cudda been, not wantin' ta upset me. Ah think she knew 'bout Jack 'n me, he never was one not ta let on, an she still was real nice, didn't mind talkin' ta me at all. Jack was lucky

[jpwagoneer1964]

Lotta folks thought that this wuz the last nite we spent together on that 1983 trip, but it wasn't. As I recall it wuz the second. Jack and me we always got caught up on each others goin's on by the second or third nite. Ah felt so bad when Jack said that he missed me so much, couldn't tell 'm just them that Ah wasn't gonna be here in August, couldn' t say nothin' just then, thought Ah might start bawlin' right then 'n there. Miss Jack so much sometimes...more than Ah can ever say.... 

[jpwagoneer1964]

Some Folks thought that our long faces an tense manner were cuz we wuz cross with each other an only happen'd on that last trip. Wuzn't so, we wuz always upset bout leavin'on the last day of bein' together from the very first time we met up again after Brokeback, both all torn up inside, but I wuz never mad at Jack or he at me. Evey time since we met again, just before we'd drive away Jack an me grab on and hold each other so hard we the other wouldn't feel him shakin', just stay like that long as we needed. Then when we'd ease apart we'd lookaway not sayin' a word so not ta show the tears a rollin' off our faces, but each knew they wuz there, then climb inta our pickups till next time.

[jpwagoneer1964]

Some folks might think things wern't right between me 'n Jack on that last trip cuz they  didn't see those last private moments 'tween us. Ah was always scart ta start bawlin' front of Jack, but he kepy sayin' 's alright, held on ta me tight, told me ta hang on ta him long as I wanted, it's aright ta cry. Didn't matter none ta him at all. Wouldn't let go till long time later, made sure I was ok, said we'll be together again in November. No we left as good as always...even better...Long ride back ta Riverton

[jpwagoneer1964]

Took a look long time ta get back ta Riverton, drove the whole way with my hand in the paper bag touchin' the shirts...from me an Jack's days at Brokeback. Wuz late, no traffic ta worry me none. Guess Jack didn't have hardly no one else around growin' up, no brothers or sisters, way out middle of nowhere, must'a been hard. Sure gonna a miss Jack, nothin' be the same without him...but it feels real good I knowed him so long.

[Momof2]

Ennis thinking: I never felt so safe and warm and whole.

I love this.  Look how tight Jack is holding on.  His fingers are dug down in Ennis' back.  Nuckles kind of white.  Hanging on for dear life, afraid to let go. 

[jpwagoneer1964]

Some folks thought I was disappointed at Ennis fer not sayin' nothin' after I told how much I miss him. Didn't expect him ta say anything, just wanted ta let 'm know is all. No one ever saw what went on next. Could tell Ennis had somethin' on his mind though, just staring straight ahead, found out later it was that he couldn't make August, couldn't tell me just then, knew that'd  make me upset. He was right 'bout that. Never had no doubts how Ennis felt 'bout me, know how hard it was fer him ta untangle himself and walk inta the tent that night so long ago back at Brokeback, went against everthin' he knew. Still not easy fer him, I know what it means that he sees me whenever he can..

[jpwagoneer1964]

They wuz gonna put this in the film 'bout when Ah stopped at the Twists graveyard but Ah guess folks would feel awful sad already. Ah did to, but I wouldn't ever trade any of the time Ah time Ah spent with Jack, two mostly three weeks a year fer spendin' all my weeks with anyone else. Ah know Jack wouldn't neither.

[jpwagoneer1964]

Sometimes when Ah'm here at the ranch round the cattle 'n horses tryin'ta do my job, somethin' happens an I just start thinkin' 'bout Jack. Start bawlin' so bad Ah can't stop, tears start spillin' off ah my face right ta the ground. Never missed no one so much, not even my mama er my dad, hardly see my sister, would never remember what K.E. even look like if Ah didn't see his face in my mirror. An Ah don't even know if Ah'll ever get ta see Jack again.

[jpwagoneer1964]

Sh**t, All this way, no job, Ennis isn't here. What 'll I'll do now. F**k I can't even breathe.