~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((Guy woke again, this time to muffled darkness. Some type of light filtered into the darkness, but it was too dark to tell what its source was.))

%% Now where am I? %%

%% Guy, its time to wake up and smell the coffee, or burnt flesh, as the case may be. %%

((Guy remembered the fireman whom he had suddenly hallucinated when he woke up.))

%% That wasn't a hallucination. Well maybe part of it was. Heh! %%

%% Lucise?! Is he alright? %%

%% Wouldn't worry about him too much, lover-boy. Its yourself you should be thinking of. %%

%% Why? %%

%% Well let's just say the nurses around here don't call you pizza face for nothing. %%

((Guy tries to feel his face, but his arms have been strapped down to the bed.))

%% So I'm in a hospital? %%

%% Takes awhile for reality to sink in, doesn't it? %%

%% Get out of my head!!! %%

[Cher]

((The Random Fireman is obviously so distressed by the Cherking Super Star, that he places his thoughts with his ands.))

RANDOM FIREMAN:

&&  I know where I'd like to place my 'ands, no doubt about that... but she's probably jouncing a bed at the Motel Siesta by now...  &&

[Cher]

** The midnight check-in clerk looked familiar and yet a little creepy at the same time.  Not sure exactly what kind of Entity she was.  **



** I guess we'll find out.  **

**  In the latest of a string of fortuitous coincidences, U.S. PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH called CONDI RICE as she was on her way back from the dry cleaner's and asked her to jet over to quell the diplomatic firestorm on the B.A.M. set.  CONDI RICE checked into the Siesta Motel and was glad to see old friends.  **



CONDI RICE:

The clerk, CHER, you know her... think...


ME:  TINA!!!



(( The air is full of diva hugs and air-kisses and strands of real human hair shedding off the heads of humans who really did not grow it.  ))

ME: 

Why didn't you say who you were?  Why did you make me Wonder, Woman?



Haven't seen you since our graduation from DAME EDNA's Finishing School for International Megastars!  You're not still mad that I stole that darling MISTER RAYMILLE away from you, are you?!

[Lumière]

LUCISE I:

((Lucise wakes up to find Guy lying next to him ..shaking and mumbling something about firemen, Celeste pizza faces and something else ..))

%% WTF is going on?  %%

** Guy .. umm..what is going on .. you having a bad dream..relax..The hippy drapes are not on fire.. and there are no firemen about .. unless they snuck in to watch the fireworks going on in here last night ...   ..  **


((All is still well in paradise............................


))

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((At Lucise's gentle shaking, Guy jerked awake again.))

**There's no fire, then? God, I thought I was going insane.**

((Guy sits up and rubs his head.))

**Don't you hate those dreams where you keep waking up but you're still dreaming?**

[Lumière]

ENNIS:

((Heaves a sigh.))

%%Now what do I tell her?  Yeah that'd be great?  Then I won't be able ta get away with FLIPPIN so many times, an she'll tell me it's all my idea cause I want ta have another kid.  Damn.  Can't win for losin.%%

Gee, I dunno.  Money's tight.  Yer already workin four days a week at the GROCERY STORE, an with me workin on LONELY OLD RANCH, we still ain't makin ends meet.  Maybe we ought ta ... you know... say two's enough.  ((Queue FORESHADOWING MUSIC))

ALMA:





**  Sure thing Ennis .. two's enough .. so we gotta be abit more careful from now on..
You know .. we can talk about that later.  I am gonna be late for work ..  I have a long shift today, so you'll have to watch the girls for a few more hours.  Good thing you can stay home all day today ...  I cooked an' everything, you just need to serve the food when it's time to eat ..   I bette change an' get goin..**

((Moments later, Alma returns to the kitchen, dressed up in her work clothes.  She kisses the girls hurriedly on their foreheads ..))

**  Ennis, see you later tonight .. Monroe'll be wondering where I got to ..**


((ALMA kisses ENNIS on the cheek, grabs her bag and leaves for work ..



))

[louisev]

ENNIS:

Don't work too hard, darlin.
((Give ALMA a discreet peck on the cheek.  Sits down on the sofa and lights a cigarette.))

%%At last, alone to chain smoke and drink while the girls play KEN and KEN with their KEN dolls.  And now I don't need no excuse for BOTTOMS UP in the bedroom now that we're bein careful an all.  Whoo wee!  That was a bonus I didn't see comin.  So ta speak.%%

((Goes in the kitchen and checks the supply of beer.))

%%Maybe I should a told her to pick up a six pack or two.  Or three.%%

[Lumière]

ALMA:

((Alma arrives at the supermarket, she looks around nervously but there is no sign of Monroe ..))

%%  Thank goodness .. maybe he won't notice that I am alittle late ..%%

((Alma rushes to her post, taking inventory in the "Canned Foods" section ..



Her mind wanders back to the conversation she'd just had with ENNIS .. ))

%%  I know I told him we gotta be more careful next time .. but I sure hope he doesn't try to do more of that ..  There must be other stuff people do when they don't wanna get pregnant .. I need to find out some of these things ..  But who can I ask? ... Mom..?? No way!!  Umm.. my friend JULIET..?  Nah, she'll tell all the girls at the beauty parlour and it'll be all over the place quicker than I can imagine .. arrghhh!!

Me an' Ennis need to talk!
%%

[Meryl]

** Guy .. umm..what is going on .. you having a bad dream..relax..The hippy drapes are not on fire.. and there are no firemen about .. unless they snuck in to watch the fireworks going on in here last night ...   ..  **

((All is still well in paradise............................


))

HIGH PRIESTESS:

** Oh thank goodness!  The thought of GUY looking like a pizza was too horrible to contemplate! **

((Meryl hugs her shrink, whom she'd called in for an emergency session))

[louisev]

Meanwhile, At the Del Mar Household
Inside Ennis's Beer-Soaked Imagination

((He imagines a steamy encounter in a fantasy island setting, perhaps triggered by the season premiere of "Fantasy Island" playing on the TV in the background, and he imagines YOUNG JACK in Hawaiian Garb, showing up to go with him on a LUXURY CRUISE.))

FANTASY JACK:

Well Aloha, Cowboy!

((Utterly distracted by FANTASY JACK, Ennis fails to notice that ALMA JR. and FRANCINE have slipped out to go play on the swingsets, leaving him alone to his fantasies is the living room, and he drifts into NC-17 rated dreams about FANTASY JACK.))