~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

%% Could it be? Is the coast clear? %%

((Seeing no sign of LD or Lureen in the hallway, Jack makes a dash for the exit. Its a lonely Texas country road. Jack makes his way down the road and a little while later finds a gas station. He's got hardly any money, but he can at least use the restroom!))

[saucycobblers]

((JBB emerges from the BAM gift shop dragging a now rather moth-eaten and lotion smeared postcard of the BAM set))



((He looks for YOUNG JACK, not feeling in the jolliest of moods, and spots him loitering around the entrance to a gas station, looking furtive))

JBB:

** Yo! Blue Eyes!! We gonna write this effen postcard or whut?? **

[nakymaton]

((The herd continues to moo and slowly gets tighter and tighter, ambling towards the woman in their field.))

ANNIE:

((As the cows get closer, ANNIE begins to panic. She tries to aim, but fumbles the gun, and...

BANG!!!!

...shoots herself in the foot.))

**Granny didn't give lessons.**

[Daniel]

((JBB emerges from the BAM gift shop dragging a now rather moth-eaten and lotion smeared postcard of the BAM set))



((He looks for YOUNG JACK, not feeling in the jolliest of moods, and spots him loitering around the entrance to a gas station, looking furtive))

JBB:

** Yo! Blue Eyes!! We gonna write this effen postcard or whut?? **

YOUNG JACK:

*Sure thing.... lets go in, get a pen from the clerk.**

((Jack opens the door for JBB who promptly rolls in and they approach the clerk.))

**Need ta borrow a pen if I can.**

((Jack's stomach begins to grumble... Apparently a diet of wedding cake and styrofoam is not the healthiest thing in the world.  Jack grabs some chips, jerky, and a beer.))

**I'll buy these too.**

((Jack considers the most recent diet pills which are prominently displayed on the counter. As soon as his eating habits get back to normal, he can worry about losing weight.))

[Daniel]

ANNIE:

((As the cows get closer, ANNIE begins to panic. She tries to aim, but fumbles the gun, and...

BANG!!!!

...shoots herself in the foot.))

**Granny didn't give lessons.**

SECOND RANDOM HEIFER: ((begins to laugh out loud.)) **She shot herself in tha foot. Haw!**

RANDOM HEIFER: ((trying to see what's going on from its towering height.)) **That ain't a laughin' matter. Move away, see if a human'll come help.**

[Daniel]

((A sleek black mercedes pulls up next to the fenced field.. An impeccably dressed, but austere woman steps out of the vehicle, quickly walking over next to the fence.))

LAUREL SPARTA: **Are you alright?.... Let's get you to a hospital.**

[saucycobblers]

((As JBB and YOUNG JACK enter the gas station, the CLERK stares at the tube of butt lotion slithering across the linoleum floor))



CLERK:

** What the... Geez, I gotta stop smokin' so much ganja man. Hey, ain't you that fella I saw bein' led ta that there Weddin' shop at the end a L.D Newsome's shot gun? **

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

**Yeah that's me. I'm makin' a run fer it. Ain't sure where I'm goin' yet, but gonna get as far away from this place as possible.**

((Jack sighs, resigned to his fate, as he accepts the pen from the CLERK. He pulls out the postcard he had gotten for JBB.))

**Okay, JBB, what do ya want on it.... We'll keep ya outta my pocket til you can tell me, that way you won't fall asleep.**

[saucycobblers]

CLERK:

** Ahm telln' ya, if ya want some free advice I'd be stayin' away from that L.D fella. His young 'un is mighty purty, but her daddy's a mean old sonofabitch. Ya cross him an' you'll end up on the wrong end of a tyre-iron. Get out while you still got the chance...**

((Looking at JBB))

**Lotion, huh? Ah got me a sore patch on ma butt... just there. Ya reckon yer little friend can help me out any? **

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK

((Jack looks down at JBB, wonderin' what he thinks.))

** I don't think this lotion'll help ya. It's been formalated... formelated... ah special made for mah skin. Says so right on the label. If ya want some, though I think they're sellin some over at the Piggly Wiggly.**