Author Topic: THE PERFORMANCE THREAD aside ((action)) %%thought%% (Read 1705454 times)

Lumière · « **Reply #2820 on:** September 28, 2006, 05:43:12 pm »

(( ALMA stoops down to clean up the peanut mess when she sees MONROE standing before her ..

))

** Monroe .. I am jes' so sorry. It is proving to be a pretty darn rough day for me .. I am so sorry about this mess..**

Cher · « **Reply #2821 on:** September 28, 2006, 05:47:14 pm »

Quote from: Lucise on September 28, 2006, 05:35:43 pm

((ALMA looks around her to see where JUNIOR has got to when .. next thing she hears are bottles of roasted peanuts crashing to the floor ..

))

** Junior! Step away from the peanuts ..now! Oh gosh! **

ME:

&& Damn, it's my fault that ALMA JUNIOR knocked over the peanuts... I was supposed to take her outside. I forgot that I was playing both SONNY and CHER in this scene... &&

Mikaela · « **Reply #2822 on:** September 28, 2006, 05:58:44 pm »

MONROE:

((Hears a crash and fears the worst, rushes around the shelves without further thought to his own safety.))

%% ALMA! ALMA! She's in danger! %%

((Stops to review the carnage of nuts, listens to ALMA's apology with joy in his heart that she seems unhurt))

ALMA, don't worry about that. I'm just so happy you're not hurt! You could have been killed!

((Sighs))

Oh, ALMA!

%% Guess he took it out on the peanuts. He must have sensed I made that nutty display to impress ALMA. Must have seen how she loved it. Bet he's in a fearful rage. Jealousy all the way. I'll have to thread carefully. But what else is new? %%

%% Or perhaps the condiments and consomme references penetrated in the end? Does he think I'm a culinary freak now? Destroyed my peanut masterpiece because of that? I know how he hates gourmets, he's such a Cibophobe. He's probably off plotting what to do next.%%

((Squirms and shudders a little, remembering the terrible fate of the BIKERS at ENNIS's hands (or rather, feet)))

%% Perhaps he's even a Arachibutyrophobe! That might explain why he attacked the peanuts! %%

ALMA, don't you worry none. I'll clean up here. You can take the rest of the day off if you like. You must be so shook up.

((Smiles weakly but very lovingly))

I know I am.

(Definition Arachibutyrophobia: Fear of having peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth)

Lumière · « **Reply #2823 on:** September 28, 2006, 06:09:31 pm »

((ALMA smiles weakly in response to MONROE's kind gesture ..))

** Are you sure ..? I mean .. I really appreciate this Monroe .. I shoulda kept a better eye on JUNIOR ..I am sorry for the trouble again .. I best get going so's to call my sister to take the girls for the rest of my shift. Ennis seems to be .. umm..busy, something came up and he had to go ** %% ..to buy Butt Paste apparently ..

%%

** Thanks Monroe! 'Preciate it!
.. Alma ..come with me ..Alma! **

alec716 · « **Reply #2824 on:** September 28, 2006, 06:22:24 pm »

Quote from: Mikaela on September 28, 2006, 05:58:44 pm

MONROE:

%% Or perhaps the condiments and consomme references penetrated in the end?

TERRY CLOTH:

** No, MONROE, all the years I been hanging out in ENNIS' pocket, I ain't never seen him get that. Now you might wanta check with JACK, though. He would know for sure. **

Mikaela · « **Reply #2825 on:** September 28, 2006, 06:24:57 pm »

MONROE:

((Joyfully:))

** She's continuing the shift, she doesn't want to leave me! Woo-hooo! **

((Realizes:))

%% Of course she's staying. She's got nowhere to go but home, after all - and she'd better stay away from there for a while, till her husband calms down or falls asleep or something.%%

((Sudden surprise blossoms as ALMA's words sink in:))

%% She blames this disaster and carnage on ENNIS junior? Junior did this? Well, the man sure kept talking about condoms and such, so he probably had some urgent need going on, but still....... I can hardly believe my current mental image. Eep! %%

%% I think it's probably for the best if I never get to know the details of their marriage dynamics. %%

((Starts cleaning up nuts and broken glass with a far-away look in his eyes))

Front-Ranger · « **Reply #2826 on:** September 28, 2006, 06:38:04 pm »

Ahem,

(Definition: Condiibutyrophobia: Fear of having condiments penetrating in the end)

Scary!!

nakymaton · « **Reply #2827 on:** September 28, 2006, 06:58:38 pm »

Meanwhile, a REALLY BIG SPIDER crawls out from behind the ~~condoms~~ ketchup...

Mikaela · « **Reply #2828 on:** September 28, 2006, 07:00:42 pm »

Quote from: alec716 on September 28, 2006, 06:22:24 pm

TERRY CLOTH:

** No, MONROE, all the years I been hanging out in ENNIS' pocket, I ain't never seen him get that. **

Quote

Author=Front-Ranger

Definition: Condiibutyrophobia: Fear of having condiments penetrating in the end

Scary!!

MONROE:

((Still on his knees clearing up peanutty mess))

((Starts snickering helplessly))

**I can't stop hearing daring innuendo! Saucy comments whispering along the aisles! It sure can't be real, it must be all the recent events have impacted me like this. I probably need professional help to achieve the right kind of de-stressing! Get rid of these here very strange erotic ideas! **

((Looks up to see CHER standing in front of him, right next to the ketchup........ She's removed the peed-upon shoes and is standing barefoot; - squeaky-clean feet.))

Oh, I was just thinking of you! Scout's honor, I really was! Look out, don't come closer - there's broken glass all over the floor over here.

((Blushes wildly at his own audacity:))

We could go....somewhere else. If you'd like.

Lumière · « **Reply #2829 on:** September 28, 2006, 07:15:23 pm »

(( Meanwhile, ALMA takes the girls to the front desk and calls her sister, GWENDOLINE .. who incidently doesn't wish to show her face completely after ENNIS called her ugly earlier ..))

** ALMA ..! Hi!..Why are ya calling me now? Aint you supposed to be at work or sumthin' ?**

ALMA:

** I am at work, silly. I really need a favor right now .. I need ya to take the girls off my hands for like 3 or 4 hours .. I know .. I know .. Ennis came and left 'em here, says he has things to do. Honestly, that man makes me wonder sometimes ..**

GWENDOLINE:

** Sh!t, now aint a good time. ** ((Whispers into the phone ..)) ** I got company .. I can't have yer kids over now..!! **

ALMA:

** Gwen! I need you to do this for me .. I am almost at my wits end! And Alma just crashed about half our inventory of roasted peanuts all over the darn floor .. I could get the sack if I have the girls here like this! Please Gwen! ..Please ?! **

GWENDOLINE:

** Argh! Fine! I'll come over and pick up the girls! But tell that incredibly hot, crazy husband of yers that he'll be getting an a$$-whooping from me one of these days! I'll be right over ..**

((ALMA heaves a sigh of relief as she waits at the front desk for GWENDOLINE to arrive .. wondering whether ENNIS had really gone to the Pharmacy to buy BUTT BUTTER, and what he was planning on using it for ..))

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