Author Topic: THE PERFORMANCE THREAD aside ((action)) %%thought%% (Read 1704877 times)

saucycobblers · « **Reply #2870 on:** September 29, 2006, 04:51:30 pm »

Quote from: Pipedream on September 29, 2006, 04:41:44 pm

Owl Olivia:

** Dearest JBB! I know, your're gelous. But one more of these unrefined comments and I'll squeeze you as an icing onto one of your hideous wedding cake suggestions! **

JBB:

%%Don't show her yer scared! Show no weakness!%%

**Like...yeah...um...an' you'll squawk a lot higher with some taxidermist's hand up yer ass!**

%% Lame, JBB... LAME %%

Daniel · « **Reply #2871 on:** September 29, 2006, 04:55:19 pm »

GUY RAPHAELSON:

**Owls and body products.... please, let's not fight on this joyous occasion. You both get to work with popular extremities.**

louisev · « **Reply #2872 on:** September 29, 2006, 04:57:49 pm »

ENNIS:

((Meanwhile wanders out of the grocery store, almost getting run over by the ANGRY CUSTOMER who spray-painted the side of GROCERY STORE, and can't seem to find his truck, so he sets off on foot, looking for that billboard that had his name on it. Or was it Jack's name. Something... he tried to remember, in a fog of too many bottles of Coors.))

"Hey, didn't I have two girls here with me a minute ago?"

Mikaela · « **Reply #2873 on:** September 29, 2006, 04:58:29 pm »

MONROE:

((Has travelled to Texas post-haste))

**Well, I was hoping to cater an impressively grand-style haute cuisine affair for my first assignment, but according to my information, strangely enough this is the meal the groom would find most fitting to the occasion and his mood of the day

: **

** While the Über-Texan father-in-law, who just happens to be paying for the whole shinding, cannot accept anything but this here:

Barbequed whole bulls with plenty of ~~condiments~~ ketchup on the side - the only meal fitting for real men in every festive occasion, is his creed as far as I understand.

((Sighs))

** Well, at least I'll have no difficulty getting this done in time for the wedding - there are calf ropers all over the place down here in Texas, and lots of bull-riders too. I'm sure one of them will bring me the necessary bulls to get the barbeque going! **

Daniel · « **Reply #2874 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:11:02 pm »

Quote from: louisev on September 29, 2006, 04:57:49 pm

ENNIS:

((Meanwhile wanders out of the grocery store, almost getting run over by the ANGRY CUSTOMER who spray-painted the side of GROCERY STORE, and can't seem to find his truck, so he sets off on foot, looking for that billboard that had his name on it. Or was it Jack's name. Something... he tried to remember, in a fog of too many bottles of Coors.))

"Hey, didn't I have two girls here with me a minute ago?"

RANDOM HEIFER: ((notices Ennis strolling down the street a little ways off))

**Well lookie here, if it ain't Hay Man himself.**

SECOND RANDOM HEIFER: ((runs over to the fence edge where the other cow is.))

**Is he comin' with more sweet grass? I still didn't get mah fair share last time.**

RANDOM HEIFER: ((tries to follow Ennis's movements.))

**Nah, looks more like he's ramblin' across the road. Hope he can avoid the -** ((the cow cringes as a yelp of pain echoes down the street.)) ** barbed wire.**

SECOND RANDOM HEIFER: ((rolls eyes))

** So when's he gonna save Jack...?**

RANDOM HEIFER: ((shrugs as much as a cow is able.))

**Don't know.**

SECOND RANDOM HEIFER:

** I reckon Jack and Lureen are gettin' hitched about now. Is that it for us then... No sweet life?**

RANDOM HEIFER:

**We'll just have ta see.**

Pipedream · « **Reply #2875 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:16:19 pm »

Quote from: saucycobblers on September 29, 2006, 04:51:30 pm

JBB:

%%Don't show her yer scared! Show no weakness!%%

**Like...yeah...um...an' you'll squawk a lot higher with some taxidermist's hand up yer ass!**

%% Lame, JBB... LAME %%

Daniel · « **Reply #2876 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:17:36 pm »

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((Guy looks up at Olivia.))

**Miss Owl, is that a hat or a miniature wedding cake?**

saucycobblers · « **Reply #2877 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:20:49 pm »

((JBB looks at Owl Olivia and guffaws loudly, almost choking on plegmy lotion...))

** Hawhawhawsnortcough... looks like they emptied a tin of Jel-lo on yer head... snortcackle **

Pipedream · « **Reply #2878 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:22:17 pm »

Quote from: Daniel on September 29, 2006, 05:17:36 pm

GUY RAPHAELSON:

((Guy looks up at Olivia.))

**Miss Owl, is that a hat or a miniature wedding cake?**

DeeDee · « **Reply #2879 on:** September 29, 2006, 05:23:39 pm »

LUREEN:

((Lureen, looking around her bedroom for her dress and panicking.))

%% I can't believe my weddin' day is finally here. I am such a lucky girl, marryin' the cutest boy in the whole damn state. I just wish he wouldn't sweat so much everytime I go near him. Well, I guess he's just nervous..now where is my dress?%%

(( Lureen notices a hideous red whoolen apparel and nearly faints dead away.))

%% OH NO!! Who put this here? Must be that horrid little diva who wants to outdo me at my own wedding%%

DADDY!!!

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