~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

GUY RAPHAELSON:

**Alright, everyone get together for some group photos... JBB, why don't you get next to the Queen and Owl Olivia... We'll have Bucking Ham and Miss Piggy in the back. Mika, Monroe, Cher, and other divas... Come on, get together.  This'll be just the guests... I hope I haven't forgotten anybody.**

[saucycobblers]

((THE QUEEN has been made aware of the aspersions being cast upon her choice of head apparel))

THE QUEEN:


** One is not amused! **

((HRH takes the matter to the House of Lords...))


** Orf with his lid! **

[Mikaela]

MIKA and MONROE:

((Both scramble to immediately heed GUY's group photo call.))


MONROE:

((Whispering))

I wonder if TERRY CLOTH will be lying flat as a doormat low during this here wedding, or if he has the loops of steel to face OWL OLIVIA and JBB amid all their barbed comments and snide bickering?


MIKA:

((Laughs brayingly in commiserating response))

[Lumière]

(( MEANWHILE ... a few hours later, ALMA waits outside the supermarket for her sister GWEN to bring the girls and pick her up after her shift.  As she waits outside, she spots the wall graffiti that DO-DO had been grumbling about a few hours back ..



))

%%  Riverton is really turning to crap these days.  First, I find out that the Pharmacy sells something
called BUTT BUTTER, now this .. whatever will happen next? %%


((ALMA is still staring at the wall when GWEN finally arrives.  She picks up ALMA and drops her off at home with the girls.  Much to ALMA's surprise, ENNIS is not home yet.  ALMA changes her clothes and goes into the kitchen .. JUNIOR joins her Momma..




..  JENNY amuses herself on the living room floor ..



))

%%  I wonder where ENNIS has got to now!  That man troubles me!
All I know is that after that stunt he pulled at the supermarket today, he better not try to get 'friendly' with me tonight ..  I just wish he'd talk to me more .. or look at me with some kind of .. desire .. %%


((ALMA is getting carried away in her thoughts when she hears the front door open .. ))

[louisev]

ENNIS

((Wanders in through the front door, heads for the kitchen and goes to the sink and washes his hands repeatedly, then notices ALMA is home with the girls.))

There they are.  I was wonderin where those girls went off ta. Thought I lost em when I got caught in the barb wire.  Any beers left in the fridge?

((Leans heavily on the sink to keep his balance.))

[Mikaela]

DO-DO:

((Returns from the loo to continue her chain-smoking. Spots added-on wall decoration.))

%% I think I was wrong about that ANGRY CUSTOMER. She's obviously more in need of a "Finish Your Task" course than improved spiritual wellbeing. %%

((Regards wall speculatively))


** MONROE is a...principled...fumbler   **


((Shakes head))

**How weird**

[saucycobblers]

((JBB has a stab at it...))

** Monroe is a...pricey...fundraiser? Naw, don't make sense neither...

...pristine furrier?... prickly furniture restorer?... hmmm**

((JBB is lost in thought...))

[Lumière]

ALMA:

**  Ennis .. where you been?   

..And no .. there aint no beer left!  **

[louisev]

ENNIS:

((Gesturing vaguely))

I was out tryin ta find... some Butt Butter.  Ya know, they kind I like ta use for... gettin up ta no good at bedtime... but I couldn't find my truck, so I went ta look for one a them billboards instead.  You see any Holstein heifers climbin up on billboards a late?  I don't know if that is really happenin or if I'm seein things.

[Mikaela]

MIKA THE DUMBASS MUSICAL MULE:

((Clears throat loudly. Speaks sincerely to the assembled group of wedding guests:))

Dear wedding guests, travellers from near and far, of every species and fabric, creed, complexion and conviction - I have been asked to provide some entertainment at this wedding and will do my best. In order to set the mood properly I will now sing a song to you of sincere love and longing.

((Clicks hoofs sharply to make a point:))

I do assure you all that any similarity whatsoever to real persons or real events is neiter incidental nor intentional, but simply unavoidable.

((ahems and starts singing softly))



On a dark mountain evening
Cool wind in their hair:
Mix of  drink and desire
had them floating on air.
All the world at a distance,
their love a shimmering light.
Too soon, hearts heavy, and their future dim
they’d  spent their last sweet tent night…..

Then he met her in a bar, voice
like a rodeo bell
And he was thinking to himself
this could be Heaven or this could be Hell.
She lit up like a candle,
and soon showed him the way.
Talked of mating calls, some kisses,-  then
he thought he heard her say:

”Welcome to the Newsome clan in Childress
Such a lovely place,
profitable days;
your’s a lovely face!
Plenty of room selling tractors here in Childress
Any time of year
Any make or gear
You can make it here
We will make it, dear!

Her mind is bright, she looks pretty
She barrel-races for fun
She's got a bullish daddy, loves her so,
he’d buy her the sun.
Soon they’ll dance in the courtyard
Sweet wedding sweat
Bride’ll dance to remember
Groom’ll dance to forget
He’ll tell the barkeeper,
“Please: Whiskey, not wine…… “
But knows:
No drink will make him forget the one for whom his heart truly pines.
And still a soft voice keeps calling from far away,
waking the groom in the middle of the night,
dwindling when his bride says:

”Welcome to the Newsome clan in Childress
Such a lovely place,
profitable days -
your’s a lovely face!
We’ll be  livin' it up in our grand wedding in Childress
What a nice surprise
What a bright sunrise
Over our knot’s ties! “

Mirrors on the ceiling
Pink champagne on ice
And she says:
”We’re mutual prisoners here
of our love’s device.”
In their nuptial chambers
alone at last, though he smiles –
he feels stabbed as with steely knives,
his heart yearning thousand miles!
One thing he’ll remember
is looking at the door,
wishing he’d find the passage back to his Mountain from before
”Relax,” coos the bride then -
”I love you,  soon we’ll receive
A darling little one, I’m very sure
that you will never leave………”



~~~~~~

= Actor's side comment:
EURO Brokies, I said during our recent meet that I'd try to have MIKA the MULE  make something of Hotel California on the PT, in honour of several of you staying at the California Hotel. That quest has hereby been achieved!