Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with
a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.

"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the
butcher's shins.

"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note
and a ten dollar bill in the basket.

The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground
beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and
reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.

The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup,
gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he
drops in on the scale with his thumb.

"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"

Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a
generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in
change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles.
Another five goes in the basket.

The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home.
The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the
lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the
corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the
dog's owner screams at the dog.

"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there,"
comments the butcher.

"He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key.

[Kerry]

   Thanks for your fun posts, Dottie and Sharon. I'm off to bed now, with a big smile on my face!   

[TXdoug]

Howdy Kerry
Are you still here ? Your Komedy Klub is AWESOME   The posters are superb   LOTS of laughs !!!   Have you checked out the Vintage Beefcake thread today? I saw it last night and decided not to make a comment.   The reply I am referring to might disappear if I comment on it  

[dot-matrix]

Have you checked out the Vintage Beefcake thread today? I saw it last night and decided not to make a comment.   The reply I am referring to might disappear if I comment on it  

Sorry Doug he had to go.  You don't want the Sheriff after me do you    I posted a few others to help take the sting out of deleting that beautiful man.

 
And since we seem to be on a theme here this is my favorite nake man joke:

A man was sleeping with a married woman. When her husband had gone to work, her secret lover came around. Just as they got down to business, the doorbell rang. The woman went downstairs and peered out of the curtains to see who it was.

"Oh no, it's my husband, he must have forgotten something."

The woman went downstairs, and the man jumped out of the window before he was seen. He was totally naked, so he hid behind a bush. About an hour later, a nudist group ran by, doing a marathon. He quickly jumped up and joined them.

After a while, he started talking to one of them.

"So how long have you been a nudist?" a man asked him.

"Not long," he replied.

"What about that?" the other man said to him, pointing to the condom the man was wearing.

"Oh, it was raining when I came out," the man replied.

[dot-matrix]

A man owns a business and has two employees; Jane and Jack. They're both very good employees but business has been bad and he finds he has to cut back on staff and lay one of them off. But which one?

They are both equally industrious and productive. He wracks his brains for hours and finally decides that he will watch them the next day and lay off the first one that takes a break.

Well, the next day comes and the man is watching but both Jack and Jane are being very industrious. Neither of them so much as looks up from their desk for hours. And then, finally, shortly before lunch, Jane gets up and goes to the water cooler. The man gets up and joins her at the water cooler to deliver the bad news.

"Jane," he says. "I have to lay you or Jack off."

She replies, "Can you jack off? I have a headache."

[TXdoug]

               

[dot-matrix]

30 Harsh Things You Might  Say To A Naked Man   1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhhh, it's cute. 3. Why don't we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix that. 5. Make it dance. 6. Can I paint a smiley face on it? 7. Wow, and your feet are so big. 8. It's okay, we'll work around it. 9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 10. Oh no... I just got a flash headache. 11. (Giggling and pointing) 12. Can I be honest with you? 13. How sweet, you brought incense. 14. This explains your car. 15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow. 16. Why is God punishing me? 17. At least this won't take long. 18. I never saw one like that before. 19. But it still works, right? 20. It looks so unused. 21. Maybe it looks better in natural light. 22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes? 23. Are you cold? 24. If you get me real drunk first. 25. Is that an optical illusion? 26. What is that? 27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents. 28. Does it come with an air pump? 29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. 30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

[dot-matrix]

Armageddon

George and James were chatting in a bar.

George said, "What would you do if you heard the world was to end in fifteen minutes?"

"I'd screw anything that moved", said James. "What would you do?"

George said, "I'd stand perfectly still."

[dot-matrix]

Adam was talking to his friend at a bar. He said, "I don't know what to get my partner for his birthday. He has everything, and besides, he can afford to buy anything he wants, so I'm stuck."

His friend said, "I have an idea! Why don't you make up a certificate saying that he can have 60 minutes of great sex, anyway he wants it. He'll probably be thrilled."

So Adam decided to listen to his friend's advice.

The next day at the bar, his friend said, "Well? Did you take my suggestion?"

"Yes, I did," Adam replied.

"Did he like it?"

"Oh yes! He jumped up, thanked me, kissed me hard, and ran out the door, yelling, "I'll be back in an hour!" 

[Kerry]

Howdy Kerry
Are you still here ? Your Komedy Klub is AWESOME   The posters are superb   LOTS of laughs !!!   Have you checked out the Vintage Beefcake thread today? I saw it last night and decided not to make a comment.   The reply I am referring to might disappear if I comment on it  

I'm very glad you are enjoying KKK, Doug. I enjoy visiting here every night. Dottie sends me off to bed every night, laughing! And that's such a lovely way to end the day. Thank you for all your wonderful posts, Dottie. 

About "that" post over at Vintage Beefcake, yes, I did see it last night (and downloaded a copy for my own collection!!!!  ). I have accidentally done the same thing in the past, myself. Prior to posting, you view the pics as thumbnails and post them in good faith, not realising that there are certain untoward aspects of the subjects anatomy peeking! An innocent mistake. I toyed with the idea of letting the poster know, but decided against it. I wanted others to enjoy the pic, as much as I had. The guy in the photo was so handsome. I love those handsome, clean-cut, square-jawed, brilliantined guys from the 1950s. They're so very masculine. Oozing testosterone! Hot! (Hope you didn't get int too much trouble, Dottie!    )