Author Topic: Kerry's Komedy Klub  (Read 1205068 times)

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #780 on: July 20, 2007, 07:14:54 pm »
A woman named Jill stood up at her church's Testimony Meeting, or as some churches call it, one Sunday morning, she took the microphone from one of the church ushers, and bared her soul to the enrapt congregation:


"I want to tell you about the awful accident that my husband, Jim, has suffered this past month. He was riding his bike, lost control, ran off the highway and hit a tree. He was rushed to the hospital, and could have died, but thank the Lord, all he suffered was a broken scrotum."

The congregation gasped in horror. The men in the congregation were obviously uneasy and writhed in their seats.

"Jim has been in terrible pain all month since the accident. He has trouble breathing. He has trouble swallowing his food. He can hardly lift anything, he's in so much pain, and he has missed work because of it. He can't lift our children up to hold them and give them the personal love that they need. Worst of all, we can no longer cuddle and have intimate relations. He is in constant pain, a pain so terrible that our love life has all but slipped away into oblivion. I would like to ask you all in the congregation to pray for Jim, and pray for us, that his broken scrotum will soon heal and be as good as new."

A dull murmur erupted within the congregation as the full impact of this terrible accident sunk in, and the men in the congregation were visibly shaken up with the thought that, "there but for the grace of God go I."

Then, as the murmuring settled down, a lone figure stood up in midst of the congregation, worked his way up to the pulpit, obviously in pain, adjusted the microphone to his liking, then leaned over and said to the congregation:

"My name is Jim, and I have only one word for my wife, Jill.

That word is: STERNUM...!!!"
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #781 on: July 20, 2007, 09:25:28 pm »
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #782 on: July 20, 2007, 09:25:59 pm »
Here's one of my favorite Gary Larson cartoons:


Good one Fran  :laugh:
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #783 on: July 20, 2007, 09:30:02 pm »
Well if we're doing feel-good photos too ... how about this one taken at my daughter's recent birthday luau ....



Susie

Awwww what a little cutie!
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #784 on: July 20, 2007, 10:27:10 pm »
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #785 on: July 21, 2007, 01:25:19 am »
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline dot-matrix

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 9,865
  • www.maleimagegallery.com ~Come Join Us~
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #786 on: July 21, 2007, 01:26:16 am »
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #787 on: July 21, 2007, 10:18:08 am »

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

Offline Sharon

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,181
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #788 on: July 22, 2007, 07:38:38 am »
"Pull out, Betty! Pull out!...You`ve hit on artery!"


Offline Kerry

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 7,076
  • ^ In pursuit of Captain Moonlite - 5 Sept 2009
    • Google Profile
Re: Kerry's Komedy Klub
« Reply #789 on: July 22, 2007, 08:43:26 am »

Essential office stationery:





γνῶθι σεαυτόν