Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

Here's another of my own cartoons. 

You don't have to be Australian, or know Archbishop Jensen personally, in order to appreciate this cartoon. He's your common, tin-pot, garden variety homophobic bigot, as seen the world over. His type is a dime a dozen, wherever you go.

[dot-matrix]

 

Kerry I think you missed your calling.  I think I'm going to share this with Father Tony  he's from an Angelican parish in Sydney and now has a parish in San Diego.  He should enjoy it too, he's always making jokes about Australian Church politics

[dot-matrix]

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked 2. Bring food

[huntinbuddy]

A Mexican, an Iraqi, and a redneck girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws the glass in
the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap, we don't need
to drink with the same one twice."

The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer,
throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and
shoots the glass to pieces.  He says, "In Iraq we have so
much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with
the same one twice either.

The redneck girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer,
downs it in one long draft, throws the glass into the air,
whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi.
Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, calling for a refill,
she says, "In America, we have so many illegal Mexicans
and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones
twice."

God Bless America
 

[dot-matrix]

A Better Fairy Tale



Once upon a time ...


~~~~~~~~


in a land far away,


~~~~~~~~


a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess


~~~~~~~~


happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.


~~~~~~~~


The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.


~~~~~~~~


One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am


~~~~~~~~


and then, my sweet, we can marry


~~~~~~~~


and set up housekeeping in your castle


~~~~~~~~


with my mother,


~~~~~~~~


where you can prepare my meals,


~~~~~~~~


clean my clothes, bear my children,


~~~~~~~~


and forever feel grateful and happy doing so. "


~~~~~~~~



That night,


~~~~~~~~


as the princess dined sumptuously


~~~~~~~~


on lightly sauteed frog legs


~~~~~~~~


seasoned in a white wine


~~~~~~~


and onion cream sauce,


~~~~~~~~


she chuckled and thought to herself:


~~~~~~~~


I don't fuckin' think so. 

[dot-matrix]

Things kids say….

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place....smack his ass again!"

[Kerry]

Things kids say….

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place....smack his ass again!"

              ROTFL           

[Kerry]

Kerry I think you missed your calling.  I think I'm going to share this with Father Tony  he's from an Angelican parish in Sydney and now has a parish in San Diego.  He should enjoy it too, he's always making jokes about Australian Church politics

My cartoons tend to be more of the "serious" social commentary type, Dottie, rather than the "haha" variety. Social injustice, bigotry and homophobia are the most common inspiration for me. For that reason, many of my cartoons happen to feature religious leaders and politicians.

If your Father Tony is from Sydney, he will well know Cardinal George Pell, Archbishop Peter Jensen and Reverend Fred Nile. They are all bitter, twisted, homophobic bigots and I've created many cartoons that feature their more bizarre, offensive pronouncements.

Archbishop Peter Jensen is an outspoken, card-carrying, proudly proclaiming gay-hater here is Sydney. He is also very outspoken in his objection to women priests and bishops . . .

 

[Kerry]

Here's one of my not so serious attempts. A product of one of the "major" news stories of earlier in the year!     

[Kerry]

Back to reality . . .