Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

Well Done ALL of you.  Kerry your original art is a corker.   A question for Ms Matrix, Do you have a bottomless supply of these amusing jokes and pictures?  I have never seen so much funny stuff in one place before.  Your home must be a very happy place.

Awww Pettifogger that is the sweetest thing.  Thank you    And in answer to your question...yep, I got a million of em 

[dot-matrix]

Port-o-Potty prototypes 

This two story model didn't work out so good

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

[Kerry]

Well Done ALL of you.  Kerry your original art is a corker.   A question for Ms Matrix, Do you have a bottomless supply of these amusing jokes and pictures?  I have never seen so much funny stuff in one place before.  Your home must be a very happy place.

Thank ya kindly, Pettifogger. Muchly appreciated. 

And I enjoyed reading your posts too. Don't stop. Keep posting. The more the merrier!   

Here's another one. 

[Kerry]

And they lived happily ever after . . . . . .   

. . . . . . or maybe not.  

And my all-time personal favourite . . . . . . .





'Cause I never could resist a man with a mullet . . . . . .





Drum-roll, maestro, please . . . . . .

Sigh! Ain't he cute?!  







 

[dot-matrix]

And they lived happily ever after . . . . . .   

. . . . . . or maybe not.  

[dot-matrix]

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He
doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his bald head and his wooden
leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days
later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will
cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right
as a pirate.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden
leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he
receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your
wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.


Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company
another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel
and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,
 
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts.
Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your
wooden leg up your a$$ and go as a caramel apple.

Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

[dot-matrix]

A Letter from Grandma



Dear Friend,
The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a
 

"Honk If You Love Jesus"

 
bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly
sassy that day because I had just come from
a thrilling choir performance, followed by a
thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the
sticker and put it on my bumper.


 
Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!
I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good He is...and I didn't
notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone
else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have
noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like
crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,

"For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" "
 
 
 
 What an exuberant cheerleader he was for
Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just
leaned out of my window and started
waving and smiling at all these loving
people. I even honked my horn a few times
to share in the love!


 
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I
heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another
guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the
air. I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant,
he said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out
laughing...he was enjoying this religious experience, too!
 

 
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment
that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I
bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters
and brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I
noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before
the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that had to leave them
after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned
out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one
last time as I drove away.
 

 
 
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Love,
Grandma

[dot-matrix]

A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains:

"Well, doc, it's like this: First I tried with my right hand, but, nothing. Then I tried with-my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth-out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and-she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

the old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get the DARN jar open!"