Author Topic: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)  (Read 48186 times)

mvansand76

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #70 on: August 09, 2007, 10:02:10 am »
OK, I am ready to formulate a coherent comment now...  :P

1. I thought the conversation between Bobby and Junior was spot-on and the whole teenage banter was exquisite.

2. So, I think I was right about Bobby, he didn't freak out about the pic he found on his dad's computer.

3. I thought it was so cute when Jack said "You're a good kisser". He really is very impressed with E's skills in this department, isn't he? I love that!

4. Adored the part where E smelled Jack before kissing and asked if he had shaved and J said no, then yes and then I can't talk about it. God, how adorable can he get? Not wanting to admit he wanted to look good for him.

5. The little hint that E has looked at J other than 'just' his best friend: what he thought about J's hair.

6. The awkwardness: God how real! The Febreze! LOL!

7. Everything Jack said, he really has it bad, doesn't he? But so does Ennis, as he realises that this can only go forward now.

I will write more later....

Offline mariez

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #71 on: August 09, 2007, 10:58:24 am »
LOL!  Have I read it?  You bet.  I read it.  And I re-read it.  And I re-read it.  And I re-read it.  Holy 'effin Moly. 

Ditto on all seven points.  I adore Bobby.  He's a combination of CY Jack and  CY Lureen.  He has Jack's razor sharp wit and vulnerability combined with Lureen's cynicism.  Interesting that Alma and Ennis waited until after Junior was born before getting married - didn't look like they had kept it a secret from her.  I'm not surprised that Alma was pregnant before they got married, but I'm a little surprised that they waited until after Junior was born to actually go through with a ceremony.  Wonder what the story is there.

Felt a pang for Alma at the beginning when she is reflexively giving Ennis a little massage ...

And I also felt a pang for Bobby when he asked Jack about going fishing - I hope Jack doesn't disappoint him.  Will he go "fishing" with Ennis instead?  Another pang for Bobby seeing how bad he's got it for Junior. 

No, Bobby didn't freak out about the picture, which makes sense - but he is very concerned about the possibility of his parents spllitting up ..... and if Junior thinks that looking at porn constitutes "cheating" - well, holy shit if she knew the truth.   Also interesting that Bobby was defensive of Jack to Lureen...

The awkwardness was perfect and adorable and, in its own way, very hawt.  And, yeah, Ennis is admitting to himself that he's been looking at Jack as more than his best friend for a while now...

I'll never look at Listerine, Febreze, Jiffy cornbread mix or Country Time lemonade in the same way ....

God, yes, they both have it so bad.  Jesus, what an ending.... Double Guh.

Gotta run - I'll be back later, too!

The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #72 on: August 09, 2007, 11:12:30 am »
LOL!  Have I read it?  You bet.  I read it.  And I re-read it.  And I re-read it.  And I re-read it.  Holy 'effin Moly. 

I'll never look at Listerine, Febreze, Jiffy cornbread mix or Country Time lemonade in the same way ....



 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

mvansand76

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #73 on: August 09, 2007, 01:29:20 pm »
You know what I think? I think they Jack and Bobby will go on the fishing trip with Ennis. Doesn't Jack always go on fishing trips with Ennis? Jack had already told Ennis that Bobby wanted to go with them! That will be interesting!

I love how Jack voices everything in words and Ennis in actions. Like when Jack says that he is confused about everything and Ennis just buries his face in Jack's neck to devour him (*guh*)

So, do you mean that they got married because Alma was pregnant, that that was the main reason?  :-\

Yeah holy shit if she knew the truth! LOL! I can't imagine how she is gonna write that, because I can't even imagine this kind of betrayal. But it is inevitable, isn't it, Ennis realised that.

I loved how he was able to admit to himself that he had looked at Jack's hair because he was lying under him now! Hahaha! I adored that! When he said that thing about Jack's hair, he kind of admitted to Jack that he had been thinking about him like that and that's why Jack said "What if we've always been like this?" God, I thought that was beautiful!

I'll never look at Listerine, Febreze, Jiffy cornbread mix or Country Time lemonade in the same way ....

Hahaha, well, we only have the first two on the market here in Holland, but that's enough to have a fit in the supermarket!

 :laugh:

Offline mariez

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #74 on: August 09, 2007, 02:51:22 pm »
You know what I think? I think they Jack and Bobby will go on the fishing trip with Ennis. Doesn't Jack always go on fishing trips with Ennis? Jack had already told Ennis that Bobby wanted to go with them! That will be interesting! 

I hope that's the way it goes.  I'd like to see Bobby go along with them - I think he is in desperate need of some sincere attention from his dad.  I think he's craving it, as a matter of fact. It would bother me if Jack, in a fit of lust, makes some excuse so that he and Ennis can go alone.  But, I totally suck at predictions.  I didn't see this chapter coming at all - I thought we were going to go through a lot more hemming and hawing on Ennis's part (and who knows, that might kick in later?  :-\

I love how Jack voices everything in words and Ennis in actions. Like when Jack says that he is confused about everything and Ennis just buries his face in Jack's neck to devour him (*guh*) 

Yeah, Jack's a talker, that's for sure.  But Ennis does manage to get his point across.   ;)  I could listen to CY Jack talk all day.  One of my favorite AU/AU Jacks.  Cracks me up how he's always calling Ennis while he's in the middle of a conversation with someone else, or yelling at a driver on the road.   :laugh:

So, do you mean that they got married because Alma was pregnant, that that was the main reason?  :-\

Sorry, Mel - my thoughts on that were very poorly worded (and I'm a native English speaker  :laugh:)  Here's the part of Junior and Bobby's conversation:

"Oh my God! Did I tell you?! I finally found out why Chiquita Banana is one of my 50 nicknames. Bananas, it was my favorite baby food flavor so your Dad started calling me that.”
 
“How could that have happened? It doesn’t work out that you’re almost 16.”
 
“I was already born when my parents got married. You didn’t know that?”
 
“No! I didn’t, that’s...whoa. Not expected. Check out Playa Ennis, laying pipe...”   


Bobby cracks me up!  But.... I'm wondering why Alma and Ennis waited so long to get married.  It's not unusual for a woman to get pregnant and then the couple gets married.  But why did they wait until after  Junior was born to get married?  I'm wondering if there is a story there.  Remember that chapter when Ennis is buying Alma some pajamas for her birthday?  A line stuck in my head.  After he buys them, he tells Jack that he usually ends up with the first thing he sees.  I'm not saying he doesn't love Alma, but was she the "first thing he saw"? 

Yeah holy shit if she knew the truth! LOL! I can't imagine how she is gonna write that, because I can't even imagine this kind of betrayal. But it is inevitable, isn't it, Ennis realised that. 

Yes, and this is the most intriguing aspect of this fic.  The long-time friendship, the dynamics between the families, and this inevitable betrayal.  You could tell that Junior likes the fact that Jack has 50 nicknames for her - he's made her feel special. 


I loved how he was able to admit to himself that he had looked at Jack's hair because he was lying under him now! Hahaha! I adored that! When he said that thing about Jack's hair, he kind of admitted to Jack that he had been thinking about him like that and that's why Jack said "What if we've always been like this?" God, I thought that was beautiful!

Yeah, and then he added "..and what if that’s the truth?”   And we know that it is the truth.

Not to mention the discussion about Jack's parents and upbringing vs. Ennis's parents and upbringing.  Interesting stuff.  And, omg, when Jack started talking about Slater.  Not only hilarious - but so many layers in that conversation!

Yeah, shopping will be fun this week!  Gotta run again!
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #75 on: August 09, 2007, 03:55:08 pm »

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I hope that's the way it goes.  I'd like to see Bobby go along with them - I think he is in desperate need of some sincere attention from his dad.  I think he's craving it, as a matter of fact. It would bother me if Jack, in a fit of lust, makes some excuse so that he and Ennis can go alone.  But, I totally suck at predictions.  I didn't see this chapter coming at all - I thought we were going to go through a lot more hemming and hawing on Ennis's part (and who knows, that might kick in later?  :-\

Oh I don't think Jack will go alone with Ennis, I bet they will take him with them, but maybe at this fishing trip Bobby will find out about them, or at least get a hint? And don't forget the away game and the house Jack is building! Weren't they like teenagers waiting for their parents to go out? LOL!

You know, that's what I love about this fic! I love that, at least up to this point, there is no angst about what is going on between them, they are exploring, finding things out, testing the water, trying to find out what the other likes, how deep their attraction is, ways to make each other crazy. Ennis is angsty about a three-way betrayal, he is betraying Alma with Jack and has betrayed Alma with Abbey, but he has also betrayed Jack with Abbey, even though he now obviously has no interest whatsoever of going back to her. Which betrayal does he feel most guilty about?

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Yeah, Jack's a talker, that's for sure.  But Ennis does manage to get his point across.   ;)  I could listen to CY Jack talk all day.  One of my favorite AU/AU Jacks.  Cracks me up how he's always calling Ennis while he's in the middle of a conversation with someone else, or yelling at a driver on the road.   :laugh:
I know! I love the banter, he is so friggin' adorable and it's so great to read how they go from talking like they have always done to practically devouring each other and back to the talking and then on to the floor of the basement! Hahaha!

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Bobby cracks me up!  But.... I'm wondering why Alma and Ennis waited so long to get married.  It's not unusual for a woman to get pregnant and then the couple gets married.  But why did they wait until after  Junior was born to get married?  I'm wondering if there is a story there.  Remember that chapter when Ennis is buying Alma some pajamas for her birthday?  A line stuck in my head.  After he buys them, he tells Jack that he usually ends up with the first thing he sees.  I'm not saying he doesn't love Alma, but was she the "first thing he saw"?

Interesting!!! Yes, you may be right and I do think Ennis works that way, mmmm.... I think he never really thought it through maybe and that he thought that this was the right thing to do, just like canon Ennis.

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Yes, and this is the most intriguing aspect of this fic.  The long-time friendship, the dynamics between the families, and this inevitable betrayal.  You could tell that Junior likes the fact that Jack has 50 nicknames for her - he's made her feel special. 

Yes, and also, Jack has all those beer nicknames for Alma! I loved that they spoke about that while eating chili (Beans!!! Hahaha and Homer Simpson!!!)...

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Yeah, and then he added "..and what if that’s the truth?”   And we know that it is the truth.
Exactly, I think we will find out more about it, more than just the scene with the lap dancing stripper in chapter 3.

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Not to mention the discussion about Jack's parents and upbringing vs. Ennis's parents and upbringing.  Interesting stuff.  And, omg, when Jack started talking about Slater.  Not only hilarious - but so many layers in that conversation!
Yeah, I am not sure about this, does this have to do with the fact that Jack is so much better off than Ennis (oh I now remember that Ennis's kiss was like a gilded ballroom, I just loooooove that Jack is so obsessed with Ennis's kisses, I can so understand that!)?  I bet this will become very important. Can't see how yet, though....



 :-* Mel

Offline mariez

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #76 on: August 09, 2007, 06:27:43 pm »
I'm baaaack. Damn, if only I didn't have to work for a living!  LOL!

Good point about Bobby getting a hint.  He is one smart cookie, and if he is alone with those two I can't see how he wouldn't pick up their vibes.  I can feel them from here!  And, yeah, I keep forgetting about that away game.  And when will that house come back into play?

Ennis's multi-betrayal - I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the repercussions from this!  I'm not sure I would call Ennis's tryst with Abbey a betrayal of Jack - but you're absolutely right that Ennis thinks of it that way.  Otherwise, he would have told Jack about it - and he can't.  But it's always what people don't say that come back to bite them the hardest.  At this very moment, Ennis isn't thinking about guilt - but he will be.  I think that's inevitable too. 

.. .  and it's so great to read how they go from talking like they have always done to practically devouring each other and back to the talking and then on to the floor of the basement! Hahaha! 

I'm glad you brought this up - it's one off the first things that hit me.  Now, ordinarily the transition from awkward sex to normal guy talk and back to awkward sex (and a few awkward attempts at sweet talk) might seem weird or contrived.  But it doesn't - it feels very natural.  It must be because of the ironclad bond they've developed over the years.  These guys aren't just best friends - they are everything to each other.  And nothing trumps that - they can't stop being "best friends" and talking like they always have.  it's ingrained in them.

I'm not sure how their economic differences are going to enter into this, but we're starting to hear more about Jack's parents, and even though Jack doesn't seem to think much of them, they're obviously still around and I'm wondering if we'll meet them....

You're right - Jack does seem to be fixated on Ennis's kisses!  And Ennis seems to be fixated on Jack's hair.  LOL!  Which shows us that there is romance here - not just sex. 

Later!  :-*
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #77 on: August 10, 2007, 06:12:32 am »

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I'm baaaack. Damn, if only I didn't have to work for a living!  LOL!

LOL, I know, you really were in the wrong time zone when this chapter was posted, weren't you? It was 9 o clock for me at night, so I was lucky!

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Good point about Bobby getting a hint.  He is one smart cookie, and if he is alone with those two I can't see how he wouldn't pick up their vibes.  I can feel them from here!  And, yeah, I keep forgetting about that away game.  And when will that house come back into play?

Yeah I really like Bobby, I think he will play a major part in Jack and Ennis being found out. I mean, he is used to them acting in a certain way around each other and I bet that he will pick up on the huge change between them, because it is huge and Bobby is a sensitive kid, he will def. notice something is off and he might catch them arguing or something or even in more than a friendly hug. I don't know, don't want to speculate TOO much, hahaha!

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Ennis's multi-betrayal - I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the repercussions from this!  I'm not sure I would call Ennis's tryst with Abbey a betrayal of Jack - but you're absolutely right that Ennis thinks of it that way.  Otherwise, he would have told Jack about it - and he can't.  But it's always what people don't say that come back to bite them the hardest.  At this very moment, Ennis isn't thinking about guilt - but he will be.  I think that's inevitable too. 


I bet it will hurt Jack more if he finds out about this from somebody else. At least, if Ennis had told him, he could have explained to him that he was confused and that it meant nothing, but this is gonna tear Jack apart, and he might do something foolish, like tell Alma. Again, just speculating... LOL!

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I'm glad you brought this up - it's one off the first things that hit me.  Now, ordinarily the transition from awkward sex to normal guy talk and back to awkward sex (and a few awkward attempts at sweet talk) might seem weird or contrived.  But it doesn't - it feels very natural.  It must be because of the ironclad bond they've developed over the years.  These guys aren't just best friends - they are everything to each other.  And nothing trumps that - they can't stop being "best friends" and talking like they always have.  it's ingrained in them.

Yeah, it's def. ingrained in them, and that's what makes their bond so special. I am dying to read about all the other hints that they were interested in each other as more than just friends. We had the hint with the stripper and Ennis loving Jack's hair, there must be more!

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I'm not sure how their economic differences are going to enter into this, but we're starting to hear more about Jack's parents, and even though Jack doesn't seem to think much of them, they're obviously still around and I'm wondering if we'll meet them....

Good point, I bet we will meet them, and I bet they will be very different from canon Jack's parents.

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You're right - Jack does seem to be fixated on Ennis's kisses!  And Ennis seems to be fixated on Jack's hair.  LOL!  Which shows us that there is romance here - not just sex. 

And I love how Ennis said "I didn't even do that this time", not "we didn't even do that this time"!   :laugh:

 :-* Mel

Offline mariez

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #78 on: August 10, 2007, 01:29:06 pm »
I bet it will hurt Jack more if he finds out about this from somebody else. ....

Yep, and my money is on Abbey's brother, Jude, to spill the beans...  >:(  Because, as you've pointed out, this chapter was relatively angst-free (except for when Alma was massaging Ennis who was feeling "guilty as shit"), I'm afraid the next one may be angst-heavy.  Not having any idea how many chapters there are going to be, it's hard to judge the pacing of events - but I think that adds to the intrigue of this story. 

Good point, I bet we will meet them, and I bet they will be very different from canon Jack's parents.

Don't know about his dad, but his mom already sounds very different from OS Mrs. Twist.  You can tell that he flat out doesn't like his dad and he seemed scornful of "Brenda Twist" and her pretensions. 

Do you have any thoughts on where the next chapter might start?  I don't think it will be a direct continuation from this one, but other than that I don't have a clue.  :-\

 :-*
Marie


The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

mvansand76

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Re: Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
« Reply #79 on: August 10, 2007, 04:21:44 pm »

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Yep, and my money is on Abbey's brother, Jude, to spill the beans...  >:(  Because, as you've pointed out, this chapter was relatively angst-free (except for when Alma was massaging Ennis who was feeling "guilty as shit"), I'm afraid the next one may be angst-heavy.  Not having any idea how many chapters there are going to be, it's hard to judge the pacing of events - but I think that adds to the intrigue of this story. 


Oh God, Marie, I cannot bear the thought of Jack being hurt like this. I would not be able to write such a scene, I would try to protect Jack from everything and the whole story would get screwed, hahahaha! I feel very protective over Jack. This Jack is so deeply in love, and it's gonna hurt like hell when he finds out.

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Do you have any thoughts on where the next chapter might start?  I don't think it will be a direct continuation from this one, but other than that I don't have a clue.  :-\

You never know with Kumari!  :laugh: I sure wish she would tell us in detail what happened in that room. Hahaha! I think there will be a scene where they are together with both their families. Then there might be the fishing trip. I sure hope that the revelation isn't anywhere in sight and there might not even be a revelation, Jack might never find out about Abbey... you never know...

What do you think?

 :-*

Mel



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