Why the divorce letter?
by ka_baerchen (Mon Jan 1 2007 21:20:29 )Again, after all the time I stumble upon something intriguing in BBM.
This time it is the divorce letter I can't get my head around, I didn't think of it pretty much, but it struck me right now. Why did Ennis send that letter in the first place?
When Jack arrives all happy thinking of a life with Ennis, you all know his reaction. Yes, Ennis is all smiles seeing Jack, but he is also very repelling and dismissing all hopes that their is the chance that they would be together.
The thing is, Ennis knows Jack and Ennis knows how Jack would react on that letter. And he knows what expectations he is triggering with it. You can see that he feels sorry, he is very ashamed, still trying to hide it. But you can tell that he is feeling bad, when he is spitting and steals that embarrassed glance at Jack in the car, he really hates himself sending away Jack.
So, whith Ennis knowing about it, why did he do it? I mean, it's surely not a simple information note just to let Jack know, that's not Ennis.
I was thinking that Ennis indeed planned something here but wasn't brave enough to really risk it (the girl's weekend interfered, but I think it was also a good excuse for him to send away Jack).
I'm not speaking of an actual plan to live together with Jack, but he is telling something with that letter that is more than just "By the way, Jack, I'm divorced".
Even if it's just for the fact of telling that he loves Jack, in that typical odd-Ennis-way of expressing himself, but Ennis is telling something with it that goes for the relationship with Jack and, at the same time, Ennis' view of himself and his feelings that have changed in a way...
What do you think?
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Re: Why the divorce letter?
by retropian (Tue Jan 2 2007 05:14:03 )That entire scene was expanded from just one sentence in the story:
He called Jack's number in Childress, something he had done only once before when Alama divorced him and Jack had misunderstood the reason for the call, had driven twelve hundred miles north for nothing.
I think you are correct in your observations. It was a small step Ennis took towards the sweet life with Jack, but he didn't have the courage to take the next step.
Re: Why the divorce letter?
by Shasta254 (Tue Jan 2 2007 06:52:01 )I think that Jack had a right to be pretty mad at Ennis for that. But maybe he should have sent a postcard before coming. He knew how Ennis was.
"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"Re: Why the divorce letter?
by jackie-77 (Tue Jan 2 2007 11:03:12 )
UPDATED Tue Jan 2 2007 11:06:58Hi, Shasta.
Ennis definitely screwed up. He probably sent it because Jack was his only friend in the world and it was a big event in his life that upset him (note his tears in the courtroom).
Jack definitely should have sent a postcard, something innocuous but obliquely seeing if it was okay to come visit. Wouldn't've had to ask to come "early," could've just suggesting meeting up on some certain date or weekend. It would've been sensible to find out from Ennis where Ennis was living without Alma anyway.
I've lost track of all the posts in various threads that I was planning to comment on, but I've been irked by people trivializing the "excuse" of having the girls. Here's a doting father who only loves 3 people in the world and 2 of them are his daughters. The other 1 person, he's usually apart from and missing sumthin' fierce, but he's used to seeing his girls every day.
Only getting to see his girls for one weekend once a month must be very painful for him, for any loving parent. "Missed last month" means he is getting to be with his children for the first time in 2 months. That starts to approach the kind of timeframe of his other painful apartnesses.
I forget who said it was a pity it was Ennis's turn to watch the girls. Um, excuse me? His paltry meager turn to see his girls.
Anyway, sorry I kinda rambled off from your post, Shasta.
Now I need to go completely O/T, but kind of not.
To the folks -- I don't mean you, Shasta -- who have given me crap and called me pompous:
I think the grownups here, for instance Clancy, Malina, Shasta, dav, ddmaul, numerous others, know the difference between matters of fact and matters of opinion. My entire above post deals with matters of opinion, with the following exceptions which are matters of fact: what visitation situation was specified in the script; the fact that "once a month" and "missed last month," specified in the script, equals approximately 2 months since last time; the fact that tears were visible in Ennis's eyes in the courtroom; and the following "I" language items: what I've lost track of, and the fact that my perception of what others said led to my feeling irked.
Sometimes if I'm particularly unsure, often if the other person has already made great emphasis on their statements being opinion, usually if I remember the other person being particularly prickly about this issue or having decried my manner, occasionally if I know I'm very outnumbered on a stance, always if I'm
aware that there's ambiguity on whether something is factual or perceptual or what my view on that is -- I say "in my opinion" or "I think." Otherwise, even if the other person made a mild declaration such as "I think," I just don't waste my time or anyone else's belaboring the point.
Next time someone wants to call me names, maybe they should start off with a simple, "that
is just your
opinion, right?" and see if I say "oh, of course."
(Edit: Technically, calling me pompous isn't calling me a name, since it's an adjective not a noun. But calling me a pompous ass is calling me a name, "ass," modified by "pompous.")
Jackie
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Re: Why the divorce letter?
by ScissorhandsRaineyluv (Tue Jan 2 2007 14:23:31 )Jackie, I do agree with you there. His girls, without a doubt, weren't an "excuse" that he used to keep Jack away. He loved his girls dearly, and like you said he hadn't seen them in two months, which is big when he used to see them everyday, besides the day he went off with Jack.My opinion is a little different from yours though, because once again I think it's Ennis's
fear that pushes Jack away, not his daughters presence. I mean, why couldn't he take Jack and the girls out to dinner? Or why couldn't he have told Jack, I've got my girls, so you can wait at my house or somewhere else until I drop them back at Alma's, and then we will talk? It wasn't like Jack wanted to pick Ennis up and they move far away. I mean, in a normal circumstance, taking away Jack, if lets say a relative of Ennis (ok, not a good example since he didn't have any) came to visit, an aunt maybe, would he have turned her away too? I've always thought Ennis became extremely paranoid, that his lover, whom showed up outta nowhere, was there, thinking he was going to move in with Ennis (or somewhere else) to start the next chapter of their lives. When Jack tells him he asked ten people where he lived, Ennis got a little panicky, and then he sees the white truck, and he stares at it intently, almost as if he thinks he's now being watched. Jack looked at the truck sadly, and then realized it was not Alma in the way of Jack and Ennis, but Ennis's fear in the way of Jack and Ennis. Ennis did have the girls, but before he even had kids he couldn't be with Jack because of his internalized problems.So I just don't think it was simply his parental duties speaking, but his out of control fear. Oh, and like you said, I don't think it's a shame the girls were there, I think it was a good thing. Because I still think he would have turned Jack down regardless, so at least that way he had two of his
little darlins to cheer him up. And he needed cheering up that day.
Oh, just out of curiosity, who has been calling you pompous?
OP: I think he just sent Jack the postcard, because like Jackie said, it was a big moment in his life. Jack was his only friend, and he felt he had to tell somebody. He had no idea Jack was going to take it the way he did. My question, is not why Ennis sent the postcard, but why did Jack show up? I think this is another scene where Jack's optimism got the best of him. Why did he think Ennis was giving him a 'go' signal to start a life together? Why did Jack still think it was Alma in the way, even after Ennis told Jack the Earl story? Did he think Ennis was warning Jack about the consequences of two men living together, but Jack figured it was a chance he was willing to take? What possessed Jack to assume Ennis was writing him the postcard as an invitation? Jack's optimism really got the best of him. I also think, because it was out of line for Ennis to send a postcard to Jack about something besides a planned "fishing trip" Jack thought he was saying something special, and it was a code almost. It's just a shame he misunderstood the situation, because his heart was broken that day, and it was the beginning of the end for him.
"Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama." Ed Wood
Re: Why the divorce letter?
by jackie-77 (Tue Jan 2 2007 15:15:06 )ScissorhandsRaineyluv,
It's interesting that our opposite arguments -- 'cause what I wrote is the opposite of what you wrote, even though if I expanded out in detail what I think, I actually agree with a LOT of what you wrote here -- converge in the middle at... drumroll... his girls being there wasn't truly the problem or even a problem.
Well, not with respect to whether he and Jack could ranch up together. But with respect to whether the timing sucked -- because Ennis and Jack should have at least talked... We don't know that Ennis had the girls in his truck to take them home. "I got the girls this weekend" sort of suggests to me a weekend still in swing. I think they were off to do whatever father-daughter activities they do -- I dunno, ice cream??
Inviting Jack to dinner... Ennis didn't even know just HOW true it was that if the girls mentioned to Alma that Jack Twist had joined them at a diner or someplace, she would likely be swallowing her shame to rat him out to the judge and get Ennis's visitation taken away. I betcha she wouldn't have kept silent about that "nasty" kiss any longer, if keeping her girls away from "perverts" who had "corrupted" their father were at stake. And for Ennis to ask the girls to not mention ANYTHING would genuinely be inappropriate, that's one of the most awful things divorced parents do; they shouldn't say or do in front of their kids anything that they need not to get mentioned.
And Ennis had long ago said "We're around each other, and this thing grabs hold of us again, in the wrong place, in the wrong time, and we're dead." Colloquial for "If we're around each other and this thing grabs hold of us etc... then we'll be dead." He doesn't trust himself nor his self-control, perhaps rightly so, to sit across a diner table from Jack and not give off some kind of impression of this white-hot passion, this white-hot
emotion that exists between them still even though their communication and relationship are just getting ever worse. I'm not suggesting he's conscious of all that, but he is terrified of somehow revealing the "thing" they feel, or at least the "thing" they have.
Anyway, before I turn this into a book...
Best regards,
Jackie
P.S. Oh, and that other thing. One person called me a pompous ass, but I didn't want to single that person out, plus more than one person has objected to my emphatic style. Since ClancyPantsDelMar had once called himself, proudly, PompousClancy AssPants DelMar after someone called him a pompous ass, and since I admire and adore Clancy, I crowed "Clancy, love! We're family now! -- Pompous JackieAss." But it's all good -- that person was sweet to me the other day and wished me a happy new year and I wished the same back. We'll talk it out. But I was defending my lack of eggshell-walking in general.
Hugs,
Jackie
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Re: Why the divorce letter?
by ScissorhandsRaineyluv (Tue Jan 2 2007 16:03:06 )Jackie:
It's interesting that our opposite arguments -- 'cause what I wrote is the opposite of what you wrote, even though if I expanded out in detail what I think, I actually agree with a LOT of what you wrote here -- converge in the middle at... drumroll... his girls being there wasn't truly the problem or even a problem.
Yes, I don't think we have opposing viewpoints per se on the matter, because we're kind of going along the lines of the same thing.
Well, not with respect to whether he and Jack could ranch up together. But with respect to whether the timing sucked -- because Ennis and Jack should have at least talked... We don't know that Ennis had the girls in his truck to take them home. "I got the girls this weekend" sort of suggests to me a weekend still in swing. I think they were off to do whatever father-daughter activities they do -- I dunno, ice cream??
Good point. It could have been a Friday for all we know, and he would have had the girls 'til Sunday night. It's a very complicated situation. And yes, I think they were heading out for ice cream or something of that sort.
Inviting Jack to dinner... Ennis didn't even know just HOW true it was that if the girls mentioned to Alma that Jack Twist had joined them at a diner or someplace, she would likely be swallowing her shame to rat him out to the judge and get Ennis's visitation taken away. I betcha she wouldn't have kept silent about that "nasty" kiss any longer, if keeping her girls away from "perverts" who had "corrupted" their father were at stake. And for Ennis to ask the girls to not mention ANYTHING would genuinely be inappropriate, that's one of the most awful things divorced parents do; they shouldn't say or do in front of their kids anything that they need not to get mentioned.
Yes, you're right. I wasn't thinking that through when I mentioned that scenario. Do you really think if Alma would have found out that Jack spent time with Jr. and Jenny she would have done something about it? I just don't know what to think of Alma sometimes. She definitely wouldn't be too happy about it, but I don't think she was capable of coming forward with her secret. Although if she thought her girls were in danger (
) then I don't know. Which is why the best thing Ennis could have done would be to suggest Jack gets a hotel or stays at his folks for the weekend, until the girls leave. But Ennis didn't want Jack around his turf for various reasons, fear of what people will think number one, and like you mentioned which I hadn't considered, that if Alma found out, she might try to take his girls away completely, which would have been a mess. Can you imagine if Ennis couldn't see his girls anymore? Yikes. I don't know though, the chances of any of that happening are pretty slim, but then again fear can be a very strong thing.*Sigh* I understand Ennis, and I cannot be angry at him for sending Jack away that day, but it just kills me to see Jack heartbroken. I really wish there was another way.
And Ennis had long ago said "We're around each other, and this thing grabs hold of us again, in the wrong place, in the wrong time, and we're dead." Colloquial for "If we're around each other and this thing grabs hold of us etc... then we'll be dead." He doesn't trust himself nor his self-control, perhaps rightly so, to sit across a diner table from Jack and not give off some kind of impression of this white-hot passion, this white hot emotion that exists between them still even though their communication and relationship are just getting ever worse. I'm not suggesting he's conscious of all that, but he is terrified of somehow revealing the "thing" they feel, or at least the "thing" they have.
Yes, I know what you're saying. It may not be a conscious thought in Ennis's head during the post-divorce scene, but it was always sub-conscious. After their reunion get-together Ennis realized how risky what they had done was, and couldn't be around Jack in public anymore. Kissing outside the apartment, sneaking into a hotel room and spending an all-nighter, then going to breakfast the next morning. It's sad, because after Ennis realized how powerful the "thing" he and Jack had together was, he quickly put his guard back up, and it stayed up the rest of the time Jack and Ennis were together.
P.S. Oh, and that other thing. One person called me a pompous ass, but I didn't want to single that person out, plus more than one person has objected to my emphatic style. Since ClancyPantsDelMar had once called himself, proudly, PompousClancy AssPants DelMar after someone called him a pompous ass, and since I admire and adore Clancy, I crowed "Clancy, love! We're family now! -- Pompous JackieAss." But it's all good -- that person was sweet to me the other day and wished me a happy new year and I wished the same back. We'll talk it out. But I was defending my lack of eggshell-walking in general.
PompousClancyAssPantsDelMar...
That's great! Anyway...if it matters, I don't think you're pompous at all. Just because you (and Clancy for that matter) feel passionately about expressing your opinions on certain BBM topics, doesn't make you pompous, unless you go around declaring your opinion is God, which you haven't. That's why I try to make sure I use 'think' a lot in my posts, because I can get a little emotionally involved in some topics, but I don't want anyone to think I'm on a high horse or something. Oh well. Glad you worked it out with the poster
"Should he tell her? Should he not tell her? He's torn, Georgie. This is drama." Ed Wood
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by northernplains (Mon Jan 15 2007 21:13:45 )
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bump: Why the divorce letter?
by TrollHammer (Fri May 4 2007 23:54:33 )
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