Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Heath Ledger Remembrance Forum
Poll: Your opinion on Jake's silence
nova20194:
--- Quote from: Snavel on March 27, 2008, 06:40:07 am ---
My bad, maybe you want to take a shot at better categories? This is the best I could do. :D
--- End quote ---
Not necessary. I probably just over-reacted to my interpretation of some of the words, especially since I'm among those who are disappointed in Jake's silence. I'm sure that no one is trying to imply that they understand what's going on in Jake's mind. I suspect it's more that they support his decision to remain silent.
BlissC:
--- Quote from: louise van hine on March 27, 2008, 12:03:36 am ---I suffered a lot by my family not wanting me to grieve my own way, and I really don't want Jake to suffer that same thing on top of his grief.
--- End quote ---
I guess that's the heart of it. Both as fans, and as fellow human beings, we feel concern for Jake.
I think another important thing to remember, regardless of how everyone grieves as individuals, is that grief's not a fixed in stone limited time thing, but a continual process - shock/numbness, sadness, anger, apathy/depression, and finally acceptance, and everyone has to work their way through that process. They don't always come in the same order, they may be fleeting, and sometimes psychologically you miss a step, and it can come back months or years later. When his sister died, my dad reacted very strangely, but then seemed to recover and accept it, but he hadn't got angry. Three years after she died it came back and hit him, and he nearly drove my mum to divorce with his reactions to things, but he ended up having counselling, and he worked through it. Again, everyone's different in how they work through the process.
Who knows? Maybe Jake just wasn't ready to say anything publicly, and maybe he will in time.
BelAir:
--- Quote from: BlissC on March 26, 2008, 04:30:04 pm ---
no-one told us about the lifetime obsession that came free with it
--- End quote ---
;D ;D ;D
BelAir:
--- Quote from: Fran on March 26, 2008, 07:22:01 pm ---And let's not forget Diana Ossana's lovely tribute to Heath in The Advocate (March 11, 2008):
HEATH WAS AN OLD SOUL in a young man's frame, extremely masculine, extremely competent in all things, and yet sensitive beyond belief. In person Heath was animated and kinetic and full of life, far different from the character he portrayed in Brokeback Mountain. He was always disheveled, unconcerned with his appearance, because -- like my writing partner, Larry McMurtry -- Heath lived in his head. Heath was a pure actor, much like Larry's a pure writer, and I was moved by the similarities between these two seemingly very different men.
One of my most endearing memories of working with Heath on set was the day we filmed the final scene in Brokeback. Before the first take, Heath walked over to me, a big smile on his face, and said, "I think you're going to like what I've done with thhis scene." Then he headed inside that bleak little trailer house, and the cameras rolled. I watched the monitor as Ennis opened his tiny closet door and revealed the two shirts he had found hidden inside Jack's childhood bedroom, like skins, one inside the other... and realized that Heath, as Ennis, had chosen to reverse the order of those shirts, with his on the outside, embracing Jack's. Such was Heath's commitment to the truth of our story and to the rawness and depth of his portrayal. Afterward our grizzzled and thoroughly macho first assistant director marched over to me, bent down, and whispered in my ear, "Diana, I've worked in this business 50 years. This is the first time an actor's brought a tear to my eye."
Heath was generous and dear, painfully shy and gifted, and I will miss him for the rest of my days.
--- End quote ---
and reading that brings tears to my eyes, in a sad way, but also in a good way.
(daggone he was special and I'm so glad I know it)
BelAir:
I am one of those that voted for: I really don't feel that he owes us anything and I understand why he hasn't said or written anything about Heath's passing.
I have mostly tried to stay out of the discussion, but since nova asked for some clarification... For me, when it comes to death and grieving, I feel that often, there is no understanding. No understanding the how or the why, the emotions, the circumstances, therefore, while I don't know how or why or what is going through Jake's mind, I say that I understand it, because to me, all things come with grief: the good, bad, the ugly, and outbursts as well as silence. Someone going through the most normal behaviors on the outside could be experiencing the most intense grief on the inside. So regardless of whether it's screaming or withdrawing, or 'acting like everything is normal,' I say that I understand.
Hope that makes some sense and helps to clarify. In a way, it is the lack of understanding that makes it understandable.
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