A Love Born From Steel - Ongoing Discussion

[belbbmfan]

One of the things I did not like in some other fics that I read is that in many cases, Ennis realized he was gay by having sex with another man (not Jack). In writing this, I knew I had to have some sort of catalyst that would make Ennis understand he was attracted to men, but I didn't want it to be with him being unfaithful to Jack. And so we have Hal...

Leslie

Leslie, you were so right in that decision. I could never picture Ennis being unfaithful. It wouldn't ring true to me. I really liked how Hal appeals to Ennis's heart and Ennis feels it's just right to spend time with him, just being there.
And what a gift Ennis and Jack gave to Hal! Hal must have been quite lonely and it so fitting that in the end he is surrounded by people who really care about him and understand him.

This story is just heartwarming!   

[mariez]

thank you for all your insightful comments! i love reading them 

and thank you leslie for this wonderful story 

Aww - thank you, Fabienne.  What a nice thing to say.  I'm not sure if I'm terribly insightful - but I do know that I'm feeling a deep "connection," I guess you could say - with this wonderful story!

Thank you!

Marie

Leslie, you were so right in that decision. I could never picture Ennis being unfaithful. It wouldn't ring true to me. I really liked how Hal appeals to Ennis's heart and Ennis feels it's just right to spend time with him, just being there.
And what a gift Ennis and Jack gave to Hal! Hal must have been quite lonely and it so fitting that in the end he is surrounded by people who really care about him and understand him.

This story is just heartwarming!   

Yep - my feelings exactly.

Leslie, I was going to apologize for causing you to cry by re-reading the chapter, but then I realized - you're making yourself cry with your own beautiful words!  LOL!!  And bringing out such strong emotions from your readers (and yourself) is a testament to really, really fine writing!

On to Chapter 16!


Thanks - Marie

[MaineWriter]

Sometimes I re-read something and I say to myself, "I wrote that?" It's an eerie feeling, actually.

Yes, onto chapter 16...

L

[MaineWriter]

Here's a quote I like, from Chapter 16:

Ennis started crying again as he said this, looking embarrassed and wiping his eyes with his handkerchief. “I loved my mama,” he said, his voice a whisper.

“And I’m sure yer mama loved you,” said Jack, smiling at Ennis and covering his hand with his own.

“I wonder what she’d think t’know her little baby boy grew up t’be a queer,” he said, trying to compose himself by picking up his sandwich and taking a bite.

“Well,” said Jack, “I don’t know for sure, a course, but I bet she’d be okay with it.”

“Ya think so?” said Ennis. “She was married t’my daddy and I told ya what he thought ‘bout queers.”

“Ya might be right,” replied Jack, “but I like t’think that what mamas want is for their children t’be happy.” He paused. “Yer happy now, ain’t ya, Ennis?”

Ennis smiled at Jack. “Ya know I am, babe. Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Well,” said Jack, “that’s what I think yer mama would see—that yer happy. The queer part wouldn’t be so important.”

Ennis wiped his eyes again and picked up his soup spoon. “That’s a nice way t’think of it,” he said. “Mebbe that’s how my mama would be.”



L

[mariez]

Well, couldn't stop at 16! . . . so, some ramblings on 16, 17 and 18:

Here's a quote I like, from Chapter 16:

Ennis started crying again as he said this, looking embarrassed and wiping his eyes with his handkerchief. “I loved my mama,” he said, his voice a whisper.

“And I’m sure yer mama loved you,” said Jack, smiling at Ennis and covering his hand with his own.

“I wonder what she’d think t’know her little baby boy grew up t’be a queer,” he said, trying to compose himself by picking up his sandwich and taking a bite.

“Well,” said Jack, “I don’t know for sure, a course, but I bet she’d be okay with it.”

“Ya think so?” said Ennis. “She was married t’my daddy and I told ya what he thought ‘bout queers.”

“Ya might be right,” replied Jack, “but I like t’think that what mamas want is for their children t’be happy.” He paused. “Yer happy now, ain’t ya, Ennis?”

Ennis smiled at Jack. “Ya know I am, babe. Happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“Well,” said Jack, “that’s what I think yer mama would see—that yer happy. The queer part wouldn’t be so important.”

Ennis wiped his eyes again and picked up his soup spoon. “That’s a nice way t’think of it,” he said. “Mebbe that’s how my mama would be.”



L

Oh, I like that too!  When Jack is right, he's right.  Speaking as a mama, the Number One Thing mamas want is for their children to be happy!!

In our house, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup was the official lunch menu for anyone feeling under the weather - I think some version of that is true for many families! 

I liked Ennis' reaction to Jack's mention of Ray - another good sign of his faith in their love and life together and his understanding of himself.

On to not-so-nice thoughts -

...and, of course, I'm talking about Norm Crocker.  Deep breaths - try not to let my blood pressure rise too high!  My mom always taught me that there is good in everyone and to try and look for that - but I must say Crocker really is the exception that proves the rule, isn't he?  And that's the nice thing that I will say about him!   

I was worried that this would send Jack into a tailspin of drinking and depression - but Ennis is so wise and so strong. 

“Maybe the fantasy of this horse farm,” Ennis said, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t find somethin’ else. Yeah, we were lucky with this place, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be lucky again. Or maybe it’s not just luck.” He picked up Jack’s hands and looked closely in Jack’s eyes, “What I’ve learned this summer, Jack, is t’believe in myself. I ain’t ever believed in myself before and I ain’t ever got ahead before. But havin’ you lovin’ me has made me realize that I can do things—if we want to own a farm, or a ranch, or somethin’ else, we will.” He stopped, and gave Jack a smile

YES!!!  Take that, Crocker!!  (I sound like an eight-year old, don't I?    I can't help it!)

I was so proud of Ennis when he spoke at the funeral!  What a special moment - and, of course, his heartfelt words would mean a lot not only to Hal's family, but to all the good people in the community who considered Hal a friend, and that will go a long way in building good will.  I really do like to believe that the kindness and love we extend to others is given back to us tenfold - corny, I know!   

I suppose I should have known that we would learn more about Hal's brown-eyed friend - I just didn't expect to actually meet him - and so soon!  What a wonderful (but bittersweet) surprise.

Got a little teary again -

“Holy God,” thought Ennis to himself, “I’m lookin’ at a picture of what I might have become and I ain’t likin’ what I’m seein’.”
  ...

“I was just lookin’ at Pete, thinkin’ I coulda been who he is…poor as shit, nothin’ but a life of regrets. Fuck, Jack, fuck…I am so fuckin’ glad I said yes t’you in May.” Ennis pulled Jack close again as he said this, his embrace squeezing Jack like he never wanted to let him go.

Jack laughed, his faced mashed in against Ennis’s neck. “Well ya did say yes, cowboy,” he mumbled. “No need t’regret what ain’t gonna happen.”


Happy for Jack and Ennis.  So sad for Hal and Pete.  No re-wind buttons on life though, right?  We just have to move forward and learn.

Now, I know Jack and Ennis end up with the Lazy L - but I don't know how, yet.  Very anxious to see what Tom is going to say!

Thanks again, Leslie!

Marie

[MaineWriter]

Marie, you read ahead on me! LOL

From Chapter 17, one of my nice schmoopy passages (hey, MadLori christened me the Queen of Schmoop!)

He went back into the bedroom and slipped into bed, hoping not to disturb Ennis, but Ennis turned over and pulled Jack into his arms. “C’mere, cowboy,” he whispered. “Let me hold ya ‘til ya go t’sleep.”

“Ya knew I was awake?”

Ennis chuckled. “Yer over there flippin’ like a flounder,” he said. “You could wake the dead.”

“I’m sorry,” said Jack. “I wanted t’let ya sleep.”

Ennis pulled him in close, rubbing his back and kissing his forehead. “Stop yer worryin’,” he said, softly. “Think ‘bout lovin’ me. Think ‘bout me lovin’ you.”

Jack tried to let himself relax in the warmth of Ennis’s arms around him. “How much do ya love me, En?” he said.

“How much?” Jack nodded. Ennis smiled in the darkness. “More than you can measure,” he said. “There ain’t no measurement for the love I have for you.”

Jack snuggled in closer. “Will you always love me, En?” he asked.

“You know I will,” said Ennis. “Forever and ever.”

“Even if I do something bad?” whispered Jack.

Ennis laughed softly. “You ain’t gonna do anythin’ bad,” he said. “Yer a good person.” He paused. “But even if you did do somethin’ bad, yes, I would love you. That’s what it’s all about, right? Through good and bad, thick and thin, ups and downs…” His voice trailed off.

Jack leaned in and kissed the warm space at the base of Ennis’s neck. “I love you,” he whispered. “I have only loved you and I will always love you.”

“I love you too, babe,” whispered Ennis.

“Y’know,” said Jack. “There are prob’ly people in the world who never meet their soulmate.”

“There prob’ly are,” answered Ennis, softly.

“But we found each other.”

“We did,” said Ennis.

“How did it happen, En? How did we end up on that mountain together?”

“I dunno, babe,” said Ennis. “I don’t think we’ll ever know. But we did.”

Jack leaned in again, resting his head against Ennis’s shoulder. “I love you,” he whispered, finally feeling sleep overtaking him, falling into a dark dreamless slumber, held tightly in the protective cocoon of his lover’s arms.


L

[belbbmfan]

(hey, MadLori christened me the Queen of Schmoop!)

  A title to be very proud of!

Happy New Year 

[mariez]

A title to be very proud of!

Happy New Year 

You took the words right out of my mouth, Fabienne!   

Schmoopy!!!      That's too funny - love the Seinfeld reference!

I think your schmoopiness is great, Leslie - stand tall wearing that crown!   

Hope to get more reading in today!

Marie

[mariez]

A few thoughts on Chapter 19  . . .

Love Jack's little musings about naps:

... For Jack, taking a nap meant lying on the couch, with his boots off and maybe his belt loosened. Ennis, on the other hand, got completely undressed and under the covers—as if he was going to bed. Jack never knew about this little quirk—how would he? They never took naps on Brokeback and besides, they didn’t have a bed.

You know it's funny about naps - I can't take them - instead of feeling refreshed, I feel even more tired!     My son, though - loves little power naps.  He can doze for 10-15 minutes and then feel completely refreshed!  And if I did take a nap, it would definitely be a Jack nap - shoes off, on the couch!


Sexy and funny is my favorite combo:

“Suck yer cock and finger yer ass,” Jack repeated, trying to sound dutiful. “How many fingers?”

“Two should do it,” said Ennis, reaching towards the drawer of the bedside table. He handed Jack the tube of K-Y. “Yer gonna need this, I think.”

Jack nodded, “Okay, so, suck cock, two fingers, then what?”

“Then,” said Ennis, “when I’m just ‘bout t’come, I want ya t’sit on it.”

“Sit on what?” said Jack, his voice playful.

“My cock, ya asshole,” said Ennis, with a laugh.

“I ain’t an asshole, it’s my asshole ya want on yer cock, I think,” said Jack, starting to slide down in the bed.


    I love that Jack and Ennis - instead of always being frantic and desperate - can now take the time to be playful!  And Ennis "repaying" Jack with a bath - love it!

I really liked how Jack and Ennis worked out different scenarios for getting the farm - they balance each other so well - perfect partners in every way.

Wow - when Tom first mentioned the will, I thought it might lead to something good - but I didn't realize Hal would leave them everything!  That was such a great moment! No wonder Ennis was so overwhelmed.  Another great moment - when he so automatically and as Jack noticed "effortlessly" and "naturally" said that he and Jack were married.  Straight from Ennis's heart - where Jack lives.

I was glad Jack asked Tom about he and his sister felt about Hal's will.  Tom was right - it was a brave question.   Tom and his sister are amazing people.  Unfortunately, it is so often the case that inheriting or not inheriting money brings out the very worst in people.  In this situation, it really brought out the best!  That was wonderful to see.  This good fortune couldn't have happened to better or more deserving people than Jack and Ennis!

And now, I'm not only hungry - I could really go for a mimosa!   

Thanks, Leslie!

Marie

[MaineWriter]

Oh Marie, I love your quotes!

Here's something else I love from Chapter 19:

Tom stood up. “I feel like we should have some champagne or something…something to celebrate.”

“We have a bottle of champagne in the refrigerator,” said Jack. “If ya want…”

Tom looked at his watch. “It’s 9:45 in the morning, probably a little early to start drinking. Although the sun must be over the yardarm somewhere in the world.”

Ennis looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” said Tom. “Just an expression, something my dad used to say.” He paused. “Wait a minute, you said you had orange juice, right?”

Jack nodded. “Yup, a fresh pitcher, just made it this morning.”

“Perfect. We can have mimosas.” Tom started to walk into the kitchen, Jack and Ennis following.

Ennis whispered to Jack, “What’s a mimosa?”

“Damned if I know,” said Jack.

Tom took three glasses from the cupboard and pulled out the bottle of champagne and pitcher of juice from the refrigerator. He popped the cork and poured champagne into each of the glasses, then added generous splash of orange juice to each. He handed Jack and Ennis each a glass and lifted his own in a toast, “Congratulations, to the new owner of the Lazy L, and his loving partner.”

Ennis blushed. “Thanks, Tom,” he said, taking a sip of the drink. “Mmm, this is good. Try yours, Jack,” he said.

Jack held his glass up in a toast. “Congratulations, babe. I love you,” he said, then took a sip.


Mimosas, love, and the sun is over the yardarm, somewhere in the world....

Leslie