The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
dot-matrix:
Katie77:
Thank you Dot......yes......we have to laugh and smile again............heres one that made me smile.....
SUMBICH
A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he
wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies
and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only
redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around
the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating
shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the
women. At the height of the party, the host said, "I
have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give
a million dollars to an yone who has the nerve to jump
in." The words were barely out of his mouth when
there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and
saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass!
Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his
thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds,
biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator
through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. both
Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell.
Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to
the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly
climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring
at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe
you a million dollars,"
"No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something.
You won the bet. How about half a million bucks
then?"
"No thanks, I don't want it," answered Leroy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you
something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche
and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what
do you want?"
Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbich who pushed
me in the pool!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kerry:
--- Quote from: dot-matrix on January 27, 2008, 05:20:38 am ---If Men Got Pregnant ~ ~ ~
--- End quote ---
Gasp! Am I imagining it or does he look like Jake?! :o
dot-matrix:
The 25th was Robert Burns Night. This is one of my favorites of his always makes me laugh no matter how many times I read it. Enjoy a wee bit o Rabbie Burns wit.
Ode Tae A Faert
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps an tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A'body's gonna hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It's like a bullet oot a rifle.
Hawed yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try an stop the leakin air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae leak
But awe yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me! A sonic boom!
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope ah huvne **** ma breeks
Tae the bog ah better scurry
Aw, whit the hell, it's no ma worry
A'body roon aboot me choking
Wan or twa are nearly bokin
I'll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusing glower
Alas! Too late he'just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
Ah feel welcome nae mair
Were e're ye go, let yer wind gang free
Sounds like just the job for me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party
Ower the sake o wan wee farty!
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