The World Beyond BetterMost > Anything Goes
Kerry's Komedy Klub
dot-matrix:
Katie77:
CANNIBAL RESTAURANT
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
+ Tourist: $5
+ Broiled Missionary: $10.00
+ Fried Explorer: $15.00
+ Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, 'Why such a price difference for the Politician?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of s..., it takes all morning."
Katie77:
A man walks into a bank, gets in line and when it is his turn he pulls out
a gun ... and robs the bank!!!
To make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next
customer in line: "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The customer replies: "YES!"
The bank robber raises his gun, POINTS IT &BANG!! SHOOTS HIM in THE HEAD
AND KILLS HIM!
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says, to the man ... "DID
... YOU ... SEE ... ME ... ROB THIS BANK?"
The man calmly responds: "No, but my wife did!"
Kerry:
Katie77:
Overheard On The Intercom
A jumbo jet was coming in for its final approach to Tampa Airport .
The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area".
He forgets to switch off the intercom.
Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.
The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?"
"Well," says the skipper, "first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I 'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long and put a huge smile on her face."
Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.
Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cock pit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes.
The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a crap first.
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