Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: BBM-Cat2006 on March 17, 2007, 02:22:28 pm ---It's ok to continue grieving as well.
--- End quote ---
That is what I needed to hear because I can't change anything until I grieve my losses. It will take time & tears but it is so comforting to have people here who understand...
:'( br. patrick
LauraGigs:
Patrick, honey, another thing I thought about: have you thought about doing some kind of mission/charity work? Get outside of your mind a little bit — some new experiences, 'fresh air' for your psyche while you help others who are troubled too. And it doesn't have to be a 'people-person' kind of thing. Just be part of a home-building project, hammering nails and having something to show for your labors at the end of the day.
Sorry I'm rambling. But this might help a lot. My mom does that kind of thing and loves it.
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: LauraGigs on March 23, 2007, 01:29:03 pm ---have you thought about doing some kind of mission/charity work?
--- End quote ---
I lead the Bereavement Support meetings at church. Several of us have put together a program to help people cope with their loss. It's cathartic for me. I also assist at funerals. And there is a new neighbor in my building that definitely needs some TLC. I help out as much as I can but I am severely limited because of my mental health. I have been on Social Security disability for 10 years for Major Depression; chronic; with psychotic features.
So, there are some times when I just have nothing to give. That's OK now. It used to make me feel worse.
:) br. patrick
BBM-Cat:
I think that's awesome that you are getting out there and sharing your pastoral talents with the community as you are able. People with severe depression can often withdraw and abandon efforts to interact with the social world. Sounds like you are trying to make a difference and touch people's lives while you continue to heal. Blessings to you.
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: BBM-Cat2006 on March 24, 2007, 11:34:21 am ---Blessings to you.
--- End quote ---
Blessings right back atcha! In many ways Brokeback Mountain has been the greatest blessing in my life for it gave me the impetus to to work through layers of repression and truly experience LOVE for the first time in my adult life. I was raised by a mother who used love as a weapon to get me to do what she wanted. So, I never learned any other kind of love except "conditional love" and I often did not please her and be 'good enough' to receive her 'love.' The woman also was always sick and dying so it got to the point where I just didn't pay attention to her anymore. Then on September 22, 1988, I went to visit her in the hospital and she died right in front of me! I have really never recovered because there was so much "unfinished business" with our relationship. Although I haven't actively 'grieved' her death in many years, I sure understand what that feels like and am able to share coping skills I have learned with others who have lost a loved one. I have been on meds and therapy ever since my mom died and if ONE person can avoid what happened to my grieving process because of my understanding of what they are going through, then I feel blessed for being a conduit of healing love. (That's happened many times.) Thanks ever so much for caring...
peace & blessings :)
br. patrick
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