Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: nic on March 15, 2007, 01:30:51 pm ---At first I thought you meant "tear" as in crying tears, now I think you mean it in the sense of ripping - is that right? Or both ??
What a shame we can't all magically transport ourselves to a theatre somewhere & watch together.
--- End quote ---
I meant crying tears but it you're right because it tears my guts out too. I wish I knew somebody that has been affected like me. All of my friends have seen it, but they somehow 'got over it.' For me, the issue is Loss. I empathize so strongly to that because of my personal history. And everyone in BBM experiences Loss. I couldn't watch Alma holding the baby while Ennis brushes by her after the Motel without having a 'white out' - I couldn't hear - I couldn't see anything except white and then slowly I drifted back to reality. On my 10th viewing, after discovering the emotion with my therapist, I heard Alma cry at the window for the first time.
Oh to see it on the big screen again. I could only go for 6 times because my attempts to stifle tears became very audible to anyone around me. Thanks for understanding!
here's some tears... :'(
br. patrick
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: Daniel on March 15, 2007, 03:25:57 pm ---I remember when I first got the DVD and popped it into the player. (The original one, not the Collector's Edition.) I managed to make it to the menu before bursting into tears........
--- End quote ---
Coming from you, Daniel, that is very comforting. I have wondered how your incredible intelligence would affect your emotions. Now I know....
:'(
br. patrick
Scott6373:
For the longest time, I cried over this film. My exposure to the story and the film happened at nearly the same time, and at a very emotionally precarious point in my life. Some other threads have been started about how we move on from the initial gut reactions we had when we first saw it.
I've posted in many places here, that I no longer have a need to watch the film anymore. It's become one of my special things that I will maybe watch once a year, like my other favorite films. That did not, however, answer the question of what I was crying over to begin with.
I would love to say that I cried for them. but I realized (just today, OK...well maybe I knew all along but didn't want to admit it), that I was crying for myself. For the opportunities that I lost. The stupid decisions I made, and the direction my life was headed in at the time. It was all for me...sad to say...I know. I do think though, that even saying this is a manner of moving forward.
LauraGigs:
--- Quote ---Scott: . . . I realized that I was crying for myself. For the opportunities that I lost. The stupid decisions I made, and the direction my life was headed in at the time.
--- End quote ---
Yes. Patrick, you were saying the issue of BBM is loss. To me, Brokeback Mountain is all about regret. (Although I guess the regret can be over lost opportunities, relationships, et cetera — so maybe this is just semantics.)
But Scott's post makes clear what I wanted to tell you: that in order to "recover" from Brokeback to the point of being able to watch it without being excessively upset, we must work through the issues in our own lives that viewing the film dredges up. Or at least reach a point where we've worked through the issues enough to be able to suspend ('shelve') those emotions a little bit, at least for 2 hours.
Obviously, you're working through some quite painful stuff, and may have some more work to do, yet. But it also looks to me as if there's been a lot of progress — and you should be glad and proud of that. Congratulate yourself, and give yourself time.
Brown Eyes:
--- Quote from: LauraGigs on March 15, 2007, 06:18:19 pm ---To me, Brokeback Mountain is all about regret. (Although I guess the regret can be over lost opportunities, relationships, et cetera — so maybe this is just semantics.)
--- End quote ---
This is exactly how I see the central tragedy too. It's what Ennis is left to "stand" for the rest of his life. Beyond the obvious sad things like Jack dying... The more abstract and clawing tragedy is this regret and the tremendous amout of lost time between Ennis and Jack. So much time together was lost over the 20 years that they were in their relationship that it's hard to even think about.
:'(
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