Meryl posted this in the "Double Meanings" thread in the Open forum, but I think that my response might fit better here...
This is what I love about Movie Ennis and Jack. They don't just treat the sex as recreational, as in the story. There's a silent acknowledgement of its seriousness, as the eye contact and tender kissing in the second tent scene shows. Without this, I know I wouldn't have cared as much about them, cried over them, been haunted by them (and over-analyzed them). I'm just really, really glad Ang Lee knew how important this was and insisted on including it, not to mention the fact that in Heath and Jake we were given actors who could make it all work so beautifully.
That's a good point, though I'm going to turn around and try to defend the story in a moment.
I think that, for me, the movie does an amazing job of portraying love without over-doing it. It's just... so restrained, I guess. Perhaps that's why so many people don't get it; personally, I hate being beaten over the head with emotions. I hate being told what to feel. And for me, at least, the movie gives me just the right amount of information, so I can project my own interpretations onto them. I feel more strongly when I'm able to do that, I think.
(I also think that the tragedy - the restrained, understated tragedy - is part of why I respond so strongly to the story. I'm kind of worried about what that says about me, actually. I say that I want a happy ending... but, you know, I'm perfectly aware that a lot of fan fiction writers have given them happy endings. But I haven't read any of the stories, because I think, at some level, that I don't like happy endings, or don't believe that they really happen. Even though I don't have a particularly unhappy or tragic life myself to make me feel that way. And it feels... well, wrong, a bit, to appreciate suffering more than happiness. I'm still trying to work through whether I'm a Bad Person for enjoying the sadness.)
As for a defense of the story. One of the fascinating things about the story for me was that, although the sex on the mountain seemed recreational, we start learning at the end of the story that there was more to it than that. There's the description of the dozy embrace, Jack's wish to have his ashes scattered on the mountain, and then there are the shirts. And I wonder if the emotional distance isn't partly a writing technique -- we're seeing the story from Ennis's POV, and Ennis is deeply in denial about what is really going on between him and Jack. I found that intriguing, and really moving, personally; the ending of the story made me want to go back and search for the hints of the love on the mountain, or to figure out what the summer might have been like from Jack's POV. The movie, actually, exactly fills those gaps for me -- it shows the tenderness in real time, and gives me the answers I wanted from the story.