Author Topic: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?  (Read 10386 times)

Offline SFEnnisSF

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The original thread from IMDB...  :D


What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?   


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:02:54 )
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Doffed hats should be placed on knee farthest from campfire.

No more than three swigs before passing whiskey bottle.

Sauteed Elk should be well salted.

Canned Baked Bean Labels should be rotated towards camera.

All new to me.

Any more?

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:09:28 )
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<<Doffed hats should be placed on knee farthest from campfire.

No more than three swigs before passing whiskey bottle.

Sauteed Elk should be well salted.

Canned Baked Bean Labels should be rotated towards camera. >>

You can't get comfortable until your boot is shoved ALL THE WAY INTO the fire.

Parkas should be readily accessible at all times.

    


by - muscla_1 (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:14:38 )
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Tent sharing can have VERY interesting results!

Let's see...Sheep are referred to as "woolies."

"Jack, I swear..."

    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:15:05 )
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Dinnerwear and cutlery should be washed immediately after use in nearest stream.

It is polite to pause between axe-swings when addressed by those a-horse.

Sheep are properly dragged by hind legs only.


    
by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:31:11 )
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Always refer to cigarettes as 'smokes.'

When at home, place no more than six empty beer bottles on any one horizontal surface; repeat until all available surfaces are filled.

When greeting a friend after a long absence, carefully knock off his hat before pressing him against nearest wall.

    
by - lnicoll (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:41:11 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 07:01:41

 
When a cowboy goes into a house or trailer, he must take off his cowboy hat. It is acceptable to keep said hat on in grocery stores, post offices, or bars.

    


by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:44:56 )
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When greeting a friend after a long absence, carefully knock off his hat before pressing him against nearest wall.
 


mmm hmmm!!!!

"I'm sending up a prayer of thanks."

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:46:51 )
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Three words: Lean. Against. EVERYTHING.

    


by - lnicoll (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:49:22 )
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Cowboys must wear proper cowboy attire: hat, shirt with snaps (not buttons), jeans with a belt, and boots. A coat in cold weather is acceptable. The attire borders on a uniform and the only choices a cowboy has are: color of the hat; pattern/color of the shirt; fabric of the winter coat; and belt buckle.

    


by - Julie01 (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:52:39 )
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Ha, poorlittleteacher--including Ennis.

If there's blood on your shirt front, and both sleeves, you should change it (even if you only have one other), but blood on only one sleeve--you can roll up the sleeves.

Divided duties are strictly divided--camp tender washes everything, cooks, puts tent up and down, starts fire, cooks. Herder looks after the sheep (except under speciual circumstances, when two are needed for this).



"You come back and see us again"--Jack's mother

    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:53:36 )
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When tucking in back of shirt, stick hand waayyy down back of pants.

When tying knots or conducting other business requiring two hands, place 3/4 burnt cigarette in mouth and squint.



"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."
    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:54:27 )
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When asking a cowboy to dance, it is best to waylay him enroute to men's room. If, after some time, he remains drinking at bar, approach him and make some reference to mating calls.

Be sure to remove heavy platform shoes before depositing feet in lap when requesting footrubs.

 


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:58:23 )
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Color of cowboy hat and horse should differ lest one appear too 'matchy.' Black hat with palomino, or white hat with roan mare are acceptable.

    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 15:58:39 )
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When deciding whether to accept a proposal of romantic union, it is acceptable to allow at least twenty years for the decision.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

 


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:00:19 )
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>> Color of cowboy hat and horse should differ lest one appear too 'matchy.' Black hat with palomino, or white hat with roan mare are acceptable.

Ditto when courtin. Contrasting hats are de rigueur.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:04:33 )
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When lassoing friend, apply lariat from the front. Lassoing from behind may lead to fisticuffs.

    


by - sweetlilgygy (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:05:33 )
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 UPDATED Tue Jan 24 2006 16:06:06

 
DRINK AND SMOKE AT ALL TIMES! 

 !!The Brokeback Mountain Maniac YEE-HAW!! 


    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:10:42 )
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Deposit supine cowboy in backseat before removing top.

    


by - dirtbiker888 (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:21:53 )
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 UPDATED Tue Jan 24 2006 16:22:58

 
Always bring toothbrush on camping trips for those unexpected exchanges of saliva
    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:27:04 )
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Do not remove price tag from tacklebox.

Initial postcards are more properly addressed to General Delivery; it is polite to send postcards directly to residence only after the first assignation.

Remove all clothing, including cowboy hat, before leaping from cliff.

    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:38:24 )
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While seemingly courteous to offer to pay for one's rodeo clown's drink, this may lead to awkward exchanges.

When expressing interest in a new man, it is considered appropriate to toss your tresses wildly from side to side.

While eating pie, do not offer a bite to ex-beard.

Electric knives do have a place at the well-appointed Thanksgiving table.



"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:48:18 )
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Don't order no soup.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:51:41 )
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Directing a punch through an open car window towards one who has called out "Hey *beep* watch where you're going," may prolong an encounter best kept brief.

Real men watch televised figure skating rather than football on Thanksgiving.

When someone offers to help clear dinner table, it is impolite to accuse them of buggery, even if you have reason to believe it true.



Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:00:35 )
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 UPDATED Thu Jan 26 2006 11:05:27

 
When a new client approaches, one does well to stand erect and greet them with a simple, "Senor?"

When travelling to consummate a long-delayed tryst, redlining is permitted.

Use of the word "condiments" may indicate an intention of absconding with another person's spouse.



"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:03:21 )
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Be able to catch carelessly tossed objects (watches, keys, etc.) on command.

Ride bulls as frequently as possible to avoid being drafted into the Army.

    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:05:15 )
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It is impolite to observe mountaintop sex acts through powerful binoculars without prior warning.



by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:09:05 )
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Brush up on weird ass jargon like "stemming the rose" and "on the QT" and "pair of deuces" before applying for a job.

Be prepared to be put on hold during your own job interview.

    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:09:50 )
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Referring to a man as a 'pissant' in front of his wife should in no way be construed as rude.

New employees need neither be welcomed nor bid adieu.

One can most clearly indicate fondest affection by casting aspersions on the other's harmonica playing.



"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - jmmgallagher (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:36:11 )
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Foodstuff and beverages suitable for campsite dining: beans, spuds, corn-on-the-cobb, whiskey, elk.

Less than suitable items include: rice pilaf, dips requiring boxed soup mix, frozen daiquiris of any flavor.



by - Flickfan-3 (Tue Jan 24 2006 17:57:45 )
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good catch poorlittleteacher
could there be some mystical symbolism in that stance they definitely prefer--
as in
leaning toward homosexuality--can't be straight--needing support--can't stand on their own two feet--

maybe I've been on the boards too long

 


by - lemonadestand2003 (Tue Jan 24 2006 18:13:58 )
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 UPDATED Tue Jan 24 2006 18:14:34

 
Don't get so drunk that you can't stand up and need to be on all fours. This may lead to cowboy foreplay such as being invited to sleep in the tent after the fire goes out.

    


by - balrog20-ressurected (Tue Jan 24 2006 18:27:24 )
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"Real men watch televised figure skating rather than football on Thanksgiving."

Yes,yes,yes, I knew there was something bugging me about this scene. I thought it was the music during the Jack Nasty fight... of course... there is figure skating on TV.

Monroe is a big wimp. He cuts turkey with an electric knife for chrisakes. A real man uses a knife, ie Jack and Lureen's Dad. He doesn't react when his wife gets in a fight 'till too late. And he watches figure skating. Not to mention living in a boring tract house and running a somewhat wimpy business.

(and before the figure skating people jump all over me, I am a male figure skater who can land a few decent jumps ((Salchow, toe loop, Lutz)). So I am justified in passing judgement.) 



thought you didn't like soup..

I'm sick of beans..

too early to be sick of beans..

    


by - balrog20-ressurected (Tue Jan 24 2006 18:41:19 )
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Its perfectly acceptable to have sex fully clothed, just slip down pants a little. Keep boots on all the time.

After drinking, rough sex is preferable to "hearts and flowers" style sex. Its cool to grab your partner by the collar and force 'im into position.

Its considered good form to say "gun's going off" at the appropriate time as a courtesy to your partner. Then you both may go to sleep



thought you didn't like soup..

I'm sick of beans..

too early to be sick of beans..

 


 by - adpaduch (Tue Jan 24 2006 18:46:41 )
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When working as a herder, all underwear should be avoided to allow for quicker access as well as to steer clear of those worrisome "boxer lines".
All open wounds should be doused with hot water applied by a dirty bandana.
In case you can't grow sideburns, apply brillo pads to face.

Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.

    


 


by - kwlsea (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:12:44 )
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Cowboys from Texas don't drink coffee.

Politely tip hat to lover's wife and ask about the children before rushing off for hot sex in a motel.

*beep* is a multi-purpose middle name, used as an endearment or as a expression of frustration or anger.

Look both ways before slamming your long lost love against the wall for serious tongue wrestling. Remember to keep clothes on when making out in the parking lot.

Be careful to enunciate clearly so that "goin' fishin'" doesn't come out "goin' *beep*

If one says one is "goin' fishin'," be sure to drop the creel case in the river upon arrival to get it wet. Check for notes from suspicious wife.




This is the best thread in a long while.

If you are pitching a tent...    


by - davidinhartford (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:13:40 )
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If you wake up in the middle of the night "pitching a tent" be sure that there is a drunk, horny cowboy nearby for assistance!

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:17:55 )
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Performances of "Water Walkin' Jesus" are best accompanied by a coffee-pot drum solo.

It's considered offensive to perform music on broken instruments in the presence of other cowboys.

 


by - henrypie (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:19:52 )
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 UPDATED Tue Jan 24 2006 19:21:03

 

"You can't get comfortable until your boot is shoved ALL THE WAY INTO the fire. "

Baaahahahaha! You're so right. I love that unintended humor.... or IS it? Jack is playin' with fire!

    


by - delalluvia (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:20:12 )
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When really p*ssed - spit.



Team Jolie

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:22:15 )
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If you get kinda drunk and crazy with your ranch mate one night, things are best patched up by getting naked the next day and washing his shirt as a peace offering.

    


by - cmr107 (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:25:14 )
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When settling down in a tent for the night, be sure there are no herds of Chilean sheep near yours.

    


by - henrypie (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:27:35 )
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To the common prohibition on discussions of the volatile trio of politics, religion and grammar, an exeption may be made for brief talk, and singing if necessary, about religion.

    


by - carmenjonze-1 (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:30:52 )
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Cowboys must wear proper cowboy attire: hat, shirt with snaps (not buttons), jeans with a belt, and boots
 


and western women's shirts should be primary colored with contrasting darts with arrows.

__
Loudspeakin' Papa,
You better speak easy to me.

--Ethel Waters, 1929

    


by - Spooky_Rabbit (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:38:24 )
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When entertaining advances from a fellow cowboy, make sure your respective wives are powdering their noses and be certain to keep your legs spread as wide as humanly possible.

Instead of coming out when confronted by your heartbroken wannabe girlfriend, push a favored variety of pie around your plate and say something snide about her rebound beau in a hostile tone of voice.

"Yes ma'am, I'll have a cup a coffee, but I can't eat no cake just now."

 


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:46:46 )
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Any kind of pastry is not a good idea in times of sorrow or angst.

    


by - flashframe777 (Tue Jan 24 2006 19:50:01 )
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A cowboy must only dance with his head tilted down, eyes firmly on the floor. The proper technique to dance with a pushy woman is to use one arm to keep her at arm's length, and the other arm to chainsmoke until the situation subsides.

"You bet." --Ennis del Mar

    


by - SURFINgurl713 (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:06:40 )
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i love this thread!! =)

"if you can't fix it you got to stand it"
connection in an isolating age
-stephanie

    


by - Julie01 (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:27:40 )
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The home of a poor rancher may be in CONSIDERABLY better taste than that of the daughter and son-in-law of a wealthy machinery manufacturer--without even having hardly any furniture in it.

"You come back and see us again"--Jack's mother

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:32:51 )
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If you're a latently gay cowboy with a little money on your hands, the best way to out yourself is by selecting decor for the dining room.

    


by - Julie01 (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:37:24 )
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That diningroom was of no sex whasoever...

"You come back and see us again"--Jack's mother

    


by - ndatmo-1 (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:43:13 )
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Yet another Ellemeno Classic! "one does well to stand erect and greet them..." Is that from the Rustlers & Hustlers Handbook?



by - ndatmo-1 (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:45:44 )
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Don't use all of the hot bathin' water until you've asked others if they would care to share.

    


by - henrypie (Tue Jan 24 2006 20:46:16 )
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Purple velvet! YEEEEHAAAAAWWWW!

    


by - Julie01 (Tue Jan 24 2006 21:12:45 )
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Dark lavender goes REALLY WELLL with new blue jeans...

"You come back and see us again"--Jack's mother



by - hibbler (Tue Jan 24 2006 21:25:48 )
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LOL!!! Even better than the "Geisha Hidden Agenda" thread!

    


by - ndatmo-1 (Tue Jan 24 2006 21:50:01 )
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Try to keep your kickin' and punchin' straight... Kick your temperamental truck, punch the one you love.

    


    


by - Rontrigger (Tue Jan 24 2006 22:46:56 )
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I wanna know where THIS one's from: "While eating pie, do not offer a bite to ex-beard."

"You can't have Ennis without Jack."--Annie Proulx

 


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 23:12:10 )
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 UPDATED Tue Jan 24 2006 23:21:57

 
When streaking out the door with boyfriend, it is most cordial to offer wife some smokes.

Wine should be well aged before proposing a toast to one's little girl's impending marriage.

For emphasis, it is considered quite useful to insert invective in one's beloved's name.

Be sure to choose carefully which back pocket to tuck your work gloves in. Remember - righty tighty, lefty loosey.

When guests are seated at your table, it is best to use a cup for spitting.


"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 23:20:59 )
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Remember, the guest is always right, but the stud duck's a turkey.

Nail polish should be placed AROUND the nail area, not merely on it.

When wiping the noses of small children, it is helpful to have three hands.

Consider moving any harmonicas from back pocket before mounting horse with low startle point.

When having motel sex, it is acceptable to poke one's thumb in one's own eye. However in a tent, one ought poke said thumb in one's partner's eye.


"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - Rontrigger (Tue Jan 24 2006 23:34:07 )
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Make full use of spit and clear slick--especially when you suddenly realize you're hot for your best friend.

"You can't have Ennis without Jack."--Annie Proulx


    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:06:10 )
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Mating native Wyoming males with Texas females may produce children who sound like they're from Scranton.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    



You should confuse everyone by spending 3 hours preparing Thanksgiving dinner and insist that your son eat his bowl of Sugar Pops since his mom slaved so hard.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - ndatmo-1 (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:10:54 )
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Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller,farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:21:36 )
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ndatmo, yours are so poignant. Well, except for the hie-larious ones.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - emergency_notfall (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:49:36 )
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"When having motel sex, it is acceptable to poke one's thumb in one's own eye. However in a tent, one ought poke said thumb in one's partner's eye. 2

What?! That sounds hilarious!! Did this happen in the movie or how did you come to think of that one??

    


by - BMJunkie (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:50:21 )
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 UPDATED Thu Feb 2 2006 02:03:56

 
It is possible for cowboys to express aging over twenty years by simply growing increasingly ridiculous facial hair patterns.

(Ladies can accomplish this by donning increasingly ridiculous wigs).


    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:54:33 )
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When a close friend dies, always rummage through his closet to check for stolen clothing.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 00:59:11 )
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When washing your clothes in the creek while naked, always tuck your scrotum up so no unsightly genitals hang in camera view.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"



by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 01:04:15 )
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"When having motel sex, it is acceptable to poke one's thumb in one's own eye. However in a tent, one ought poke said thumb in one's partner's eye. 2

What?! That sounds hilarious!! Did this happen in the movie or how did you come to think of that one??
 


Well I exaggerated a little, but yeah, in the motel scene, Ennis kind of gouges into his own eye to cope with feelings, and in the 2nd tent scene, he's feeling Jack's face with his eyes closed and he kind of catches his thumb on Jack's eyelid.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 05:41:06 )
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All women, except the cowboy's wife, are referred to as "ma'am."

When sending a postcard to a friend, the cowboy must sign it with his first and last name, even when he has known the friend for 20 years.

When a fellow cowboy pours whiskey into your coffee cup, say "thank you." There is no need for thanks when swigging it out of the bottle, however.

Cowboys only drive pick up trucks. Cars are for sissies.

Cowboys from Texas are permitted to wear wrist watches. Wyoming cowboys are not. If a Wyoming cowboy is given a wrist watch, proper etiquette is to look at it in a puzzled way, and then shove it in his pocket.

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Wed Jan 25 2006 05:46:04 )
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<<Cowboys from Texas are permitted to wear wrist watches. Wyoming cowboys are not. If a Wyoming cowboy is given a wrist watch, proper etiquette is to look at it in a puzzled way, and then shove it in his pocket. >>

If the Wyoming cowboy makes an attempt to inspect said watch, any other cowboy present must introduce himself immediately to ensure no further measures of responsibility will take place for the day.

Drinking should commence soon after.

----
Jake Gyllenhaal better get noms for Best Supporting Actor '06...or I'M CALLING SHENANIGANS!

 


by - comingepiphany (Wed Jan 25 2006 05:49:22 )
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Actually placing the hat on the knee farthest from the fire is a true to life action. At least it is here.

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 06:36:28 )
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Beer should only be consumed from a long neck brown bottle or occasionally, a mug. Beer is never drunk from a can.

Cigarettes are lit with a lighter, not matches. If the cowbody is feeling fidgety, it is acceptable to play with the lighter.

When feeling pouty, the polite cowboy will sit by himself in a field and sulk.

    


by - adpaduch (Wed Jan 25 2006 06:36:38 )
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Lasso's are not only useful for wrangling wayword sheep, can also be used in foreplay.
If a woman puts her dirty feet in your lap, you are obligated to rub them.


Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.

    


by - wlgordon (Wed Jan 25 2006 07:53:23 )
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Remove your hat before entering the tent of your new boyfriend.

"You know I ain't queer." "Me neither."

    


by - jmmgallagher (Wed Jan 25 2006 07:57:14 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 07:58:17

 
Whaddya know--the boy from New York actually DID learn something!

(Who knew you even put your hat on your knee? Before BBM, not me!)

    


by - anml-lvr (Wed Jan 25 2006 08:00:49 )
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Score big points by cleaning your potential boyfriend's cloths with a stick at a stream, naked.

"Tell you what".
Pa Twist

    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 08:49:51 )
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After hiring employees, no departing words are necessary. Suddenly dismiss them by staring at them with a look that says "why the hell are you still here?"

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - littleguitar39 (Wed Jan 25 2006 08:55:18 )
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You should confuse everyone by spending 3 hours preparing Thanksgiving dinner and insist that your son eat his bowl of Sugar Pops since his mom slaved so hard.
 


Brkback, that one was hillarious!!

"You know it could be like this, just like this, always." Jack Twist

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 08:57:57 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 08:59:37

 
When your only daughter gives birth to your first grandchld, speak not with emotion when entering to see the baby for the first time. Speak only of quantitative facts. Translate amounts into other units of measurement for emphasis. Do not acknowledge that breast is best for babies.

When desirous of holiday companionship, attend a public gathering and announce loudly and firmly that you would not be averse to being humped like a frog. Surprises may ensue.

If a homosexual man should find himself married to a woman, it is best to wear tight, revealing, outlining undershirts and loose, lowhanging pajama bottoms that accentuate one's attributes to bed to indicate a lack of interest.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:01:06 )
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When camping on a mountain where flies quickly cover dead animals, the flies will politely refuse to buzz around your drying raw meat slices.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - flashframe777 (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:02:00 )
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A cowboy must make fashion relevant by considering both style and practicality. Keep in mind a blue bandana around the neck as an accessory can double as a great first aid salve for those pesky occasions when you or your guapo gaucho get thrown from a horse.

"You bet." --Ennis del Mar

    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:23:30 )
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It is permissable to quote Chilean sheepherders, as long as you translate accurately. For example, if the herder shouts "Que vamos a hacer ahora?" you may follow seconds later with "What are we gonna do now?"

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:33:14 )
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It is standard procedure to try to forget your sorrow in the arms of an ugly clown. The clown may not be cooperative.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:42:44 )
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 UPDATED Fri Jan 27 2006 07:00:43

 
When working and living with animals for weeks in the wilderness, it is not hard to maintain one's clothes, hair and grooming in meticulous order if one has a small whiskey cup to shave with. Leaving one's fingernails grimy will be plenty to indicate one's living conditions.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:49:29 )
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It is impolite to ask questions about salary during a job interview. In fact, it is impolite to ask any questions at all!

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 09:58:54 )
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When going a trip, cowboys should pack their clothes in a paper or canvas bag. Suitcases are not acceptable.

When meeting new people and visiting their home for the first time, it is acceptable to go into the upstairs bedroom and rummage around in the closet. It is also acceptable to open the window and move things around on the desk. If the cowboy wishes to take some clothes for himself from the closet, no one will mind. But the *polite* cowboy will thank the mistress of the home for this gift.

    


by - Brkback (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:08:55 )
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The devoted cowboy wife will dutifully see that her husband receives all mail from his lover. Only city wives would tear such mail into small pieces and depost it in the garbage.


Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:32:32 )
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Before delivering disappointing news, it is good manners to clean off the listener's truck door handle.

Courtesy does not demand that you inform your child that you will be bringing a lady friend along on your afternoon sortee together.




"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - starboardlight (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:33:56 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 10:42:58

 
after urinating, a cowboy should show his friends that he has properly buckled his belt by flicking at the buckle twice.

It's considered bad form to pull your pants back up after a night of unexpected rough sex. Only do so in the morning while your partner is still asleep.

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:45:52 )
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If you see a cowboy you do not know who appears to be sick, injured, or in pain, do not offer to help. You will certainly be sworn at and maybe even hit. However, if you know the cowboy who is sick, injured, or in pain, do try to help. You will still get sworn at but eventually he will accept your ministrations.

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:47:26 )
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When preparing to fling one's body off a cliff, one may choose to jump one's self or to have someone else jump for you.

(God, I just realized how valuable that paparazzi photograph would have been if they had both been in it.)

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - starboardlight (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:49:10 )
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ouch. that one hurts.

    


by - starboardlight (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:57:57 )
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when a stranger visits your home, decides to rummage through a family member's closet and take an item of clothing without permission, it is expected that you should offer a paper bag for him to take said item home.

    


by - BMJunkie (Wed Jan 25 2006 10:58:11 )
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 UPDATED Thu Feb 2 2006 02:06:38

 
If the cowboy suddenly can't find one of his two shirts, way the hell out in the middle of nowhere, it would be improper to assume that which would be apparent to anyone else. That other dude took it.

    


by - shrinkrapt (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:05:46 )
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When planning a lovemaking session following an encounter that was just shy of rape, indicate to your intended that you are in a more romantic mood by spending a few moments stoking up the campfire til it blazes mightily.








 


by - allovertheworld (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:19:59 )
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When you want to scope out the other cowboy without him knowing, it's best to pretend to shave while looking in your truck's side view mirror.

Prior to a job interview, it's recommended to only smoke 1/2 a cigarette. The other half may be saved for later.

    


by - jscheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:26:19 )
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Clench jaw firmly till muscle twitches to avoid staring at fellow employee/camp mate bathing nude outdoors.

    


by - allovertheworld (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:28:24 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 11:31:48

 
Always, always, always, bring fish home to your wife after one of your little fishing trips. Remember to make sure it has completely thawed out.

    


by - allovertheworld (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:33:40 )
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When storming out of ex-wife's house after an argument, it is acceptable to have your hat on backwards.

    

It should surprise no one to run into Chilean sheepherders in the middle of Wyoming.

    


by - jscheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:36:30 )
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Make sure the fish is a native American species that can be found in a local stream, not something exotic like Chilean sea bass.

    


by - jscheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:45:23 )
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It is acceptable to smoke a cigarette and peel potatoes to avoid staring at a fellow employee/camp mate bathing nude outdoors.

    


by - ndatmo-1 (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:46:54 )
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When a hailstorm suddenly hits... It's time for whiskey snowcones!

    


by - jscheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 11:58:26 )
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Brown, wrist-length riding gloves are an acceptable accessory to a black Resistol cowboy hat and a blue Wrangler shirt.

    


by - dfthomer (Wed Jan 25 2006 12:02:52 )
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LMFAO: I'm not sure which thread is funnier. This one or the 'Lines You Won't Hear on BB-Mtn.'

Peace 


    


by - jscheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 12:09:28 )
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It is advisable to call--or at least write--first before traveling long distances to join one's newly divorced lover.

    

by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 12:14:17 )
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When visiting the home of people you are meeting for the first time, it acceptable to have a cup of coffee, but politely decline an offer of cake.

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 12:20:16 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 15:48:00

 
In camp, the polite cowboy will nicely tell his fellow cowboy when he is over-tired and needs to go to sleep, by means of an animal analogy. To help his fellow cowboy achieve a peaceful slumber, the polite cowboy will hum a lullaby in his ear.

    


by - jscheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 12:23:51 )
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Have a rifle handy when discussing one's sexual orientation.

    


by - dirtbiker888 (Wed Jan 25 2006 12:38:38 )
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It is acceptable to use a sign "trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again" on the front entrance of your place of business to discourage budding thieves.

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 13:25:29 )
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My two favorites so far:
 
Directing a punch through an open car window towards one who has called out "Hey *beep* watch where you're going," may prolong an encounter best kept brief.

When someone offers to help clear dinner table, it is impolite to accuse them of buggery, even if you have reason to believe it true.
 


"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

 


by - My_Name_Is_Lydia (Wed Jan 25 2006 13:34:52 )
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Never, I repeat NEVER! ease your pickup into its parkin space. Slammin' on the brakes is half the fun. The longer the skid and the closer to somethin' you get, the better!

...and that's all I have to say about that. 


 


by - lemonadestand2003 (Wed Jan 25 2006 14:53:13 )
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Have a rifle handy when discussing one's sexual orientation.

_____________________________________________________

You're killing me.



by - balrog20-ressurected (Wed Jan 25 2006 15:01:42 )
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Try at all times to avoid the use of the derogatory term - BareBack Mountain - when refering to the film. Crude, plus those hearing you will think you are gauche.

Instead use the more subtle ButtBack Mountain as was heard on the Don Imus show today. 


And of course all pudding references will instantly label you a hick.

thought you didn't like soup..

I'm sick of beans..

too early to be sick of beans..

    


 by - cheriekeane (Wed Jan 25 2006 15:07:09 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 15:21:55

 
This is a very funny thread.

    


 by - JLScheib (Wed Jan 25 2006 15:42:41 )
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<<This is a very funny thread.>>

I agree, gotta save some of these "etiquette tips."

BUMP!

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 15:55:15 )
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When meeting a new person, it is appropriate to introduce yourself, using first and last name. This is normal in all situations, but cowboys sometimes forget. If you find yourself in such a situation, take the following steps:
1) Introduce yourself first, using first and last name. That should prompt a response.
2) If the cowboy introduces himself by first name only, wait a second or two. His last name may be forthcoming.
3) In the event that he does not tell you his last name, it is acceptable to prompt for it, but do it in a friendly way. Rather than, "What's your last name?" consider, "Your folks stop at ....?" That should do the trick.

    


by - cmr107 (Wed Jan 25 2006 16:01:54 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 16:04:34

 
When deciding if a shirt is acceptable to pack for a fishing trip, a single sniff of the collar will suffice.

 


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 16:57:18 )
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Though one is being kept on a short *beep* leash, be sure it reaches 1200 miles.

"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - lnicoll (Wed Jan 25 2006 17:22:20 )
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 UPDATED Wed Jan 25 2006 17:24:31

 
Cowboy Etiquette Manual Section 36.2.4
Sexual Descriptions

This is a difficult and touchy subject and one which many cowboys find difficult to navigate. The following are offered as general guidelines.

When referrring to an animal you have actually seen, it is entirely acceptable to discuss that animanl in blunt, anatomic descriptions (ie, "he had balls the size of apples").

If a person (male or female) should ask what you have been doing during the day, it is perfectly acceptable to be honest, ie, "I was castrating calves." This has no sexual connotation whatsover.

However, in an actual sexual (or loving) situation, one must never be direct. For example, an orgasm is "the gun's goin' off"; love is "this thing"; and an expression of enduring love is "there ain't no reins on this one."

Because cowboys are quiet and normally reticent, it may be difficult to discern exactly what they are communicating. The wise observer of cowboy etiquette is advised to pay particular attention in these types of situations, so that s/he does not make unwise decisions about what the cowboy is actually expressing. Misunderstandings have resulted in fisticuffs, or worse.

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Wed Jan 25 2006 17:24:17 )
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<<Because cowboys are quiet and normally reticent, it may be difficult to discern exactly what they are communicating. The wise observer of cowboy etiquette is advised to pay particular attention in these types of situations, so that s/he does not make unwise decisions about what the cowboy is actually expressing. Misunderstandings have resulted in fisticufss, or worse. >>

A winner is you. I love this thread. :)

----
Jake Gyllenhaal better get noms for Best Supporting Actor '06...or I'M CALLING SHENANIGANS!

    


by - Ellemeno (Wed Jan 25 2006 17:30:28 )
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Ladies, to provide your husband with some high class entertainment, hunt for extra zeros til your eyes get smaller and smaller like a rabbit with a coyote after it trying to squeeze into a snay-ik hu-ole.


"It's nobody's business but ours - and our IMDb friends'."

    


by - poorlittleteacher (Wed Jan 25 2006 18:06:40 )
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In order to make your slow-ass son sit up straight and quit bitching, bark directions at your bastard father in law until he caves.

Cowboy wives are especially known to appreciate this gesture.

----
Jake Gyllenhaal better get noms for Best Supporting Actor '06...or I'M CALLING SHENANIGANS!

    


 by - kwlsea (Wed Jan 25 2006 19:22:59 )
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When the cowboy has been reminded twice by his daughter that she has dumped the boyfriend he liked, the polite cowboy will allow that "she can do what she wants now," and agree to go to the wedding.

When being nagged by one's wife to dance, it is permissible to make a point by offering to dance with the chatty wife of an acquaintance.

Don't flirt openly with a rodeo clown; they have sharp tongues.
 

    


by - My_Name_Is_Lydia (Wed Jan 25 2006 20:14:35 )
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If your daughters witness you having a temper tantrum, make it up to them by offering to give 'em a push on the swing set.

...and that's all I have to say about that. 


    


« Last Edit: August 04, 2007, 02:41:27 pm by sfericsf »

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2007, 02:43:30 pm »
 by - cmr107 (Wed Jan 25 2006 20:51:57 )
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If one's job interviewer gets a phone call in the middle of the interview, a polite cowboy will look at the ground and scuff his feet until said call is over.

    


 by - lnicoll (Thu Jan 26 2006 03:29:38 )
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 UPDATED Thu Jan 26 2006 07:53:11

 
After unexpected snowstorms, especially in the summer, cowboys have been known to do a little dance. Then they make a little love.

    


 by - lnicoll (Thu Jan 26 2006 03:35:51 )
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At the end of a period of employment, the cowboy should expect that his performance review will be brief and to the point. As with the job interview, it is impolite to ask questions. The cowboy should also not rebut any over-generalizations of his performance.

    


 by - jscheib (Thu Jan 26 2006 06:00:07 )
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After a night of rough sex, it is not considered necessary to offer your boyfriend breakfast--or even coffee. It is, however, considered polite to invite him to supper. Phrase the invitation as a positive statement (e.g., "See ya fer supper"), not as a question.

    


 by - adpaduch (Thu Jan 26 2006 07:30:00 )
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And if you're working up in the mountains for any particular length of time, it will effect the time it takes your hair to grow. Mountain air has a way of stunting hair growth when exposed to it for over a month.

Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.

 


 by - starboardlight (Thu Jan 26 2006 12:54:53 )
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cowboys always bump

    


 by - bjblakeslee (Thu Jan 26 2006 13:10:40 )
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When hiring a pair of deuces for a job, be sure to hire the first two people who come and don't bother about getting their names. Just make out their checks to Cash.

    


 by - lemonadestand2003 (Thu Jan 26 2006 13:34:36 )
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After a rough bout of sex it is permissable for a cowboy to sleep with his pants down and jacket on as long he pulls his pants up and gives his sleeping boyfriend a hungover gaze before he gets out of the tent.

Your are right on about the dangle    


 by - balrog20-ressurected (Thu Jan 26 2006 15:23:10 )
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quote:
"When washing your clothes in the creek while naked, always tuck your scrotum up so no unsightly genitals hang in camera view. "




I've got several screen captures now of that scene. You are absolutely right, Jake hadda tuck his balls up between his thighs for that scene. Believe me, I have expanded, blown up and studied those shots in detail, there is not the slightest hint of ball sack showing. Nice little tease of butt crack though.

If a guy was just naturally squatting down by a creek like that his nuts would be hanging free, try it.

I chuckle trying to imagine how Ang Lee gave Jake G. direction here...

(Imagine a slight Taiwanese accent)"Err, Jake, your testicles are dangling and it will detract from the artistry of the scene, I'd like you to tuck them up somehow, please, thankyou..." 

(betcha Jake's got low-hangers) 




thought you didn't like soup..

I'm sick of beans..

too early to be sick of beans..

Re: Your are right on about the dangle    


 by - hibbler (Thu Jan 26 2006 15:36:52 )
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Balrog20 - LOL!!!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - stevme (Thu Jan 26 2006 17:29:39 )
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:) well done!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - kwlsea (Thu Jan 26 2006 17:55:03 )
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bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ndatmo-1 (Thu Jan 26 2006 20:03:22 )
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Be careful. Don't let your good manners "write a check that your body is not willing to cash". Sometimes you think you're just picking up a fallen red hat...

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Thu Jan 26 2006 20:25:47 )
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Sometimes you think you're just picking up a fallen red hat...
 


lol. that's good.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Ellemeno (Fri Jan 27 2006 02:26:08 )
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bump

"You got a better idea.......hm?"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lnicoll (Fri Jan 27 2006 03:44:16 )
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 UPDATED Fri Jan 27 2006 05:33:57

 
In Cowboy-land, there's no such thing as a hatless human

(Thanks must go to William Steig for this one, from his book "When Everybody Wore a Hat")

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - poorlittleteacher (Fri Jan 27 2006 04:08:03 )
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Bad news makes logs disappear into thin air.

----
Jake Gyllenhaal better get noms for Best Supporting Actor '06...or I'M CALLING SHENANIGANS!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Ellemeno (Fri Jan 27 2006 04:58:30 )
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>> Bad news makes logs disappear into thin air.

At first I thought you were talking about threads being deleted by the IMDb administrators! Then I realized you meant when Aguirre comes up to Jack a-horse.

"You got a better idea.......hm?"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - poorlittleteacher (Fri Jan 27 2006 05:15:10 )
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I shoulda said "bayd" news. ;)

----
Jake Gyllenhaal better get noms for Best Supporting Actor '06...or I'M CALLING SHENANIGANS!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lnicoll (Fri Jan 27 2006 07:16:28 )
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While cowboys have great fondness for animals such as horses, bulls, cows, and sheep, they have absolutely no interest in domesticated house pets such as dogs, cats, or fish.

[Post deleted]    



 
This message has been deleted by an administrator

[Post deleted]    


 UPDATED Fri Jan 27 2006 07:56:05

 
This message has been deleted by an administrator

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - heydoozie (Fri Jan 27 2006 08:42:38 )
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After your first night together, the polite cowboy will wash his lover's shirt
so he will have something clean to wear when he comes a-courtin' the next night.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - cmr107 (Fri Jan 27 2006 09:35:34 )
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When sleeping outside, the cowboy hat must remain on the head. However, the hat should be removed if one decides to sleep in a tent.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - cmr107 (Fri Jan 27 2006 16:43:03 )
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After filling buckets with water, the buckets must be tossed on the ground to ensure maximum spillage.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Fri Jan 27 2006 17:01:45 )
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rofl.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Fri Jan 27 2006 17:04:16 )
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A cowboy never ever admits to knowing what "condiments" are.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - spottedreptile (Fri Jan 27 2006 17:41:57 )
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When parking outside your laundromat apartment, always park right next to the 'Laundromat entrance round front' sign, so everybody knows which entrance you really like to use.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lemonadestand2003 (Fri Jan 27 2006 18:02:09 )
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 UPDATED Fri Jan 27 2006 18:10:00

 
When standing on the balcony of your apartment over the laundrymat uttering the phrase "Jack F'kg Twist" is as romantic as "Romeo, Romeo wherefore are thou Romeo?"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - henrypie (Fri Jan 27 2006 18:06:47 )
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Ah, one of the tiny details I get distracted by, like the boot in the fire. I remind myself that spillage is okay because the river is right there, after all.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - henrypie (Fri Jan 27 2006 18:10:29 )
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As postcards and saddle catalogues do not offer frequent opportunities for literary fluency in the typical cowboy, it is considered bad form to notice when a cowboy moves his lips while reading.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - kwlsea (Sat Jan 28 2006 12:09:08 )
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Fewer words make it count more. It's the cowboy way.

(From the Seattle Weekly)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - queen_of_the_troubled_teen (Sat Jan 28 2006 12:40:08 )    Ignore this User | Report Abuse
 


 
This one is funnier - Just!! There are actual tears with this one.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - gardenmann (Sat Jan 28 2006 13:52:28 )
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Travel to the handle should be limited to a trip around the coffee pot.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - balrog20-ressurected (Sat Jan 28 2006 14:57:48 )
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 UPDATED Sat Jan 28 2006 16:47:11

 
If a cowboy starts to brag about his rodeo skills in front of ex wife and her new wimpy husband, she will take offense and pick a hell of a fight. Its polite to side step such questions at family gatherings.




thought you didn't like soup..

I'm sick of beans..

too early to be sick of beans..

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - cmr107 (Sat Jan 28 2006 16:29:04 )
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Bump. Anyone have any others?

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ndatmo-1 (Sat Jan 28 2006 19:45:42 )
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If you're going to wrestle and roughhouse with each other, always chose a scenic slope because it just looks so tousled and appealing when you roll and tumble down a hill and all over each other with all those denim legs and boots flying. Fighting...the cowboy foreplay.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ptyrrell (Sat Jan 28 2006 20:14:33 )
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When entering the tent of your new-found cowboy lover, it is polite to cover your bulging groin with your hat so as not to poke his eye out. (did anyone else notice this in that scene?)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ndatmo-1 (Sat Jan 28 2006 20:18:28 )
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Yes, it was a multi-purpose gesture to suggest humility/contrition and create a sense of mystery and expectation.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - battlestar-fanatica (Sun Jan 29 2006 02:16:49 )
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LMAO! THIS THREAD IS GREAT =D

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Rontrigger (Sun Jan 29 2006 02:32:59 )
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 UPDATED Sun Jan 29 2006 03:01:06

 
This is wonderful, but maybe it should go in the "YOU KNOW YOUR A BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN FAN WHEN..." thread?

(Refers to the "Romeo, Romeo..." post.)

"You can't have Ennis without Jack."--Annie Proulx

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - vkm91941 (Sun Jan 29 2006 02:33:34 )
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Always check you creel for notes from the wife.

Always get your new fishing gear wet so it looks used after five years of regular "fishing" trips.

 
Victoria M
Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are

Re: Football versus figure skating    


 by - juliaz3 (Sun Jan 29 2006 08:56:48 )
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Yes, I totally noticed that Alma wound up married to TWO gay men.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - henrypie (Sun Jan 29 2006 20:09:58 )
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Armpits and crotches of clothes should be sniffed before packing and good threads should be bumped.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ndatmo-1 (Sun Jan 29 2006 22:41:02 )
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Pheromone BUMP

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ndatmo-1 (Sun Jan 29 2006 22:47:20 )
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 UPDATED Mon Jan 30 2006 11:38:13

 
Don't waste precious ciggies. Either stub out the one your working on and put it in your pocket for later or grab somebody's hand and take a drag on theirs. You'll be admired as both thrifty and romantic.

Re: Football versus figure skating    


 by - spottedreptile (Sun Jan 29 2006 23:13:38 )
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Yes, I totally noticed that Alma wound up married to TWO gay men.
 

mmm. VERY interesting point. Firstly Monroe uses an electric knife, then he watches the figure skating, then he's useless in defending Alma when Ennis screams at her in the kitchen.

I wouldn't go so far as to call him 'gay' though. I mean, Ennis displayed none of the above characteristics did he? Ennis is the complete opposite of Monroe, maybe that's way Alma went for him.

I'd rather call Monroe a wuss/wimp/twat.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Rosie-nic (Mon Jan 30 2006 09:16:22 )
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Bump!

This thread is hilarious!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - JadziaDragonRider (Mon Jan 30 2006 15:00:28 )
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OMG! This thread is amazing. I've laughed out loud so many times! I especially liked Texas Female+Wyoming Male = Scranton Kid. I liked it because when I was watching the scene I was like "Why does that kid sound like a 40s era newsie or some such?

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 15:07:58 )
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It's your God damn driveway! Pedestrian on the sidewalk DO NOT have the right of way.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - wolfofmoonandsun (Mon Jan 30 2006 16:22:01 )
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A punch in the face says "I love you." Try it.

When encountering a bear, the safest course of action is to turn and run very fast.

Pictures taken in the 80s were clear, sharp, and bright. When you're mourning a departed loved one, take time to think about this.

Every time you read this signature, an orphaned puppy gets fed into a meat grinder. 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Shizrae (Mon Jan 30 2006 16:24:10 )
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When a cowboy is called a 'sinner' by his co-worker and is told by said co-worker that he is yet to have the opportunity to 'sin', one must present this opportunity.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - dancinjinn (Mon Jan 30 2006 16:35:16 )
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OK, I'm feeling really stupid right now, Starboard, but what scene is this referring to? I'm wracking my little brain on this one.

pedestrian on the sidewalk    


 by - balrog20-ressurected (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:06:41 )
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Starboard is talking about the scene where Ennis in his truck roars into the parking lot of the laundry, which is his driveway... just missing a pedestrian who is moseying along on the sidewalk. He then goes into the apartment where Alma tells him he recieced a postcard from someone named "Jack".

I had something to give..

I had something ELSE to give as well..

(Heath on Oprah)

Re: pedestrian on the sidewalk    


 by - Ellemeno (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:18:06 )
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When being made to introduce your own film, prepare yourself beforehand to have to read some very ridiculous stuff off a Teleprompter. Lack of preparation could result in serious freak outs by those in no way involved.

"You got a better idea.......hunh?"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - mabra144 (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:46:36 )
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A 30-30 is the only acceptable rifle for the modern cowboy. One must always check to make sure it is loaded before mounting a horse. Also, one must always make sure the hammer is not cocked, as an accidental discharge would ruin the leather carrying case that is always on the side of the horse facing the camera.


"Est-il une beauté aussi belle que le rêve? Est-il de vérité plus douce que l'espérance?" -Les Choristes

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:55:04 )
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a true cowboy never abondons his harmonica, even if it's completely out of tune.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - anml-lvr (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:01:28 )
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Never sleep outside and freeze your butt off when you could be snuggly warm in a tent with another ruff n' tuff cowboy.

Offline SFEnnisSF

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2007, 02:47:40 pm »
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - balrog20-ressurected (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:08:11 )
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When you've just woken up from stemming the rose of your cowboy buddy for the first time, its ok to be cocking your rifle as your bud approaches. He'll never feel threatened like you are about to shoot him.


Also, if you decide to have a little tete-a-tete with your cowboy buddy after a day spent alone in introspection, its perfectly ok to approach your buddy with your loaded rifle and to casually point it at the ground. Again he'll have no thoughts of you wanting to shoot him.




I had something to give..

I had something ELSE to give as well..

(Heath on Oprah)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:13:06 )
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the best gift to bring to a secret tryst is beans.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - JLScheib (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:49:06 )
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<<When you've just woken up from stemming the rose of your cowboy buddy for the first time, its ok to be cocking your rifle as your bud approaches. He'll never feel threatened like you are about to shoot him.
Also, if you decide to have a little tete-a-tete with your cowboy buddy after a day spent alone in introspection, its perfectly ok to approach your buddy with your loaded rifle and to casually point it at the ground. Again he'll have no thoughts of you wanting to shoot him. >>

Somewhere way above this was put more succinctly and generally: Have a rifle handy when discussing your sexual orientation.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - anml-lvr (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:52:37 )
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Laughter makes the heart grow fonder.
Act silly and make him laugh.

Offer to sleep in the pup tent even if it smells like cat piss.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jackftwist (Mon Jan 30 2006 19:58:40 )
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Leather is a pretty good insulator and it definitely doesn't burn easily! (Recall that Ennis used a leather glove to hold the handle of the cast-iron frying pan in his cooking scenes.)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jackftwist (Mon Jan 30 2006 20:06:54 )
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Yeah -- where did that friggin' "pissant" line come from? It's not in the short story. Was this some harbinger of Jack's eventual fate? (I've never heard 'pissant' used as a euphemism for gay or qu**r before.)

"It was [Ennis's] own plaid shirt ... stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one." (from the short story)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jackftwist (Mon Jan 30 2006 20:15:48 )
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OK, this is by far the best message board for (a) treating severe acute addiction to the movie (I'm an addict and have no desire to recover from it) and (b) forgetting the SAG awards fiasco Sunday night (yeah, I've read the posts on that forum, too -- I'm still p*ssed at Ledger and Gyllenhaal's performance, their apologists in that threat notwithstanding, but I'm even more p*ssed at the SAG).

"You gonna do this again next summer?"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - cmr107 (Mon Jan 30 2006 21:57:23 )
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Bump to get a fun, positive thread back up top.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 22:19:55 )
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always say goodbye properly to your father, even if your mother is screaming hysterically in the kitchen.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ndatmo-1 (Mon Jan 30 2006 23:57:27 )
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 UPDATED Tue Jan 31 2006 00:17:10

 
If your Daddy looks kinda mad about something, even though you know he's probably not mad at you and your sister...when he asks you if you need a push on the swingset, just say no. He's pretty strong and centrifugal force is not something to test without the helmets that kids of the future will be wearing.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - bookbabe73 (Tue Jan 31 2006 13:15:11 )
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When I need a good smile I read this post - so BUMP!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - LuckySeven (Tue Jan 31 2006 13:53:35 )
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BUMP BUMP !!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - maraudertheslashnymph (Tue Jan 31 2006 14:10:47 )
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If you are a cowboy's wife, it is perfectly acceptable to ask, "You know someone by the name of Jack?" without specifying a last name and without taking into account that EVERYONE knows someone by the name of Jack.

When getting into a fight with your lover about his other sexual relationships, it is not necessary to specify that you know he seeks out prostitutes. The phrase "what they got in Mexico for boys like you" is understood by everyone.

If you are a cowboy's beard, it is not unusual to assume that his teeenage daughter is qualified to know whether you are the one that her father ought to marry.

First-time sex with a male lover is not allowed to be sweet or gentle. You must do it as roughly and quickly as possible to prove that you are manly; once you have proved this fact, you may kiss slowly and whisper to each other the next time.

"You don't go up there to fish!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - VirginiaGal (Tue Jan 31 2006 14:20:37 )
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After passionately kissing your cowboy lover next to your kids' swing set, wipe your mouth before introducing said lover to your wife.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - wolfofmoonandsun (Tue Jan 31 2006 15:10:38 )
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If you feel like having a snuggly in broad daylight with your coworker, watch out for suspicious old men who might be watching. Suspicious old men need love too, and seldom have gorgeous cowboy lovers of their own. Pity them.

Every time you read this signature, an orphaned puppy gets fed into a meat grinder. 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Wed Feb 1 2006 17:29:55 )
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when dancing with a cowboy, talking non stop will not get you a date with him, but might get your husband a date; throwing your hair wildly from side to side will get you a few dates but will not get him to the alter; looking into his eyes and smiling confidently might get him to marry you, but only if you have sex with him faster than he can think.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - henrypie (Wed Feb 1 2006 18:13:55 )
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(yup, there's only so much blood in the body...)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jackftwist (Wed Feb 1 2006 21:26:29 )
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In addition to "guns goin' off" (Jack, in the short story's version of the first love scene), McMurtry and Ossana should've also included "I sure wrang it out a hunderd times thinkin about you" (Ennis to Jack, in the short story's motel scene). These are great lines that add significantly to those scenes.

- "I can't make it on a couple of high-altitude *beep* once or twice a year."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - beyonddizzy31 (Wed Feb 1 2006 21:44:42 )
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Call first before driving 9 hours up to Wyoming, al while assuming your long time secret lover will immediately want to run off to live happily ever after with you. It'll save you the tissues.

Face life with a little guts... and lots of glitter :-)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - grghls (Wed Feb 1 2006 21:45:10 )
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when a gay cowboy checks to see if the coffee is hot in the pot always use the top of the hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.

when the wife of a gay cowboy teases her husband for not dancing with her she must push him with the top of her hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - flashframe777 (Thu Feb 2 2006 11:08:29 )
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If you want your cowboy suitor to love your awful singing, offering him a bottle of whiskey first, helps.

Warning: Whiskey will not help improve a Cowboy's perception of bad harmonica playing.

"You bet." --Ennis del Mar

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 12:46:22 )
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 UPDATED Fri Feb 3 2006 05:43:06

 
Short-legged pudgy rodeo clowns become tall, slim, and long-legged when encountered in bars. However, they are sometimes considerably uglier there.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 12:58:30 )
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Never jump off a cliff into a lake with your lover. If you do, he may be suddenly replaced with a man not nearly as cute, and with a smaller dick.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:06:59 )
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Cowboy wives should wait until after they are divorced and remarried to accuse their former husbands of doing the "nasty" with a male friend. A major holiday is preferred for such confrontations.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:19:00 )
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Interrupting a cowboy and his apple pie will end in tears.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:31:28 )
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Be careful when using the Spanish word "señor."

In some Mexican dialects, this otherwise inoccuous word means "do you wanna
f * c k?


Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:41:24 )
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Gay stereotypes should be reinforced by ineptly failing to catch keys tossed to you.

Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:57:12 )
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Bump bump bump

love this thread
 
I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.
I wish I knew how to quit you
 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hibbler (Thu Feb 2 2006 14:31:16 )
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when a gay cowboy checks to see if the coffee is hot in the pot always use the top of the hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.

when the wife of a gay cowboy teases her husband for not dancing with her she must push him with the top of her hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.
 



LMAO!! Especially that first one. 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:02:12 )
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Bump bump bump and bump again!
You're all cracking me up - I love this thread!

Wish I had cowboys in my life to practice what I've learned here.... 

"I'm sending up a prayer of thanks."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:06:57 )
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1. It is perfectly acceptable, nay expected, to passionatly grab and tounge wrestle with a lover you haven't seen or heard from in 4 years. They will not only not take offence, but will in fact return this gesture vigorously!!!!

2.Don't forget to wipe your mouth and tuck your shirt back in when returning to the house with him to meet the wife after said tounge wrestling session!

3. When leaving for a "fishing trip" with your lover, it is ok to barely speak to your wife and even make stupid comments to avoid any questions. Eye contact should be avoided.

4. After pi!!ing, your cowboy buddy will be looking in your crotch area. Remember to show off your belt buckle!

5. When suddenly waking up surrounded by snow that wasn't there the night before, grab a blanket and run around stupified and confused

6. If you want cowboy love interest to notice you, bathe naked as close to him as possible. He will continue to peel potatoes and will try to sneak a glance at your goodies.

7. Never accept any offer of help when injured.

8. If you try to help an injured collegue, it will either be rejected or result in a black eye on your part!

9. When wife accuses you of not going on fishing trips to fish, it is perfectly ok to take your anger out on someone who nearly runs you over!!! You will probably end up getting the s!it kicked out of you though so BEWARE!

10. Always rub the sweaty, dirty feet of any woman who plonks them in your lap!

11. Flirting with rodeo clowns can be dangerous. They may take great offence and even talk about you behind your back!

12. When arguing with cowboy lover, it is best not to mention you have been sleeping with male prostitutes in mexico. This can only make the argument worse.

13. Drink and smoke ALL the time! Any cowboy who doesn't, isn't a man!

14. Singing badly will always get you a tin pot percussion from cowboy colleague.

15. If advances aren't working, subtly suggest to cowboy collegue that you "haven't had chance to sin". That'll get his motor running!!!

16. Never discard even broken musical instruments. The off key playing will only make your love interest more in love with you!

Anyone think of anymore???

I really really really love this thread!!!


 
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:47:21 )
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Bump
 
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:53:37 )
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Bump again

Love this thread soooo much. Makes me laugh so badly!!
 
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - priscillaherrington (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:57:02 )
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bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 16:01:02 )
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1. Asking a cold colleague into your tent, will certainly lead to both of you being warmed up!!

2. After a night of rough sex, never speak or even look at your lover.

3. When unhappy, the manly cowboy will sit on the hill alone and sulk.

4. Never say anything when a look or gesture will do. At most say "huh" or "hmm"

5. Always drink out of a cup your fellow cowboy has used to shave in

6. Always stick your foot, completly in the fire.

7. When cowboy colleague successfully shoots an elk, a rough punch and push is expected.

8. Sheep should always be carried whenever possible. If you can't, dragging by hind legs is acceptable.

9. Arguements in front of children should always be followed by a kind gesture towards them such as "you girls need a push" if they are on swings for example.

10. Kick things when you are annoyed. It helps and it makes you look manly!!

11. After night of rough sex, the modern cowboy will lie all night with his trousers round his knees and all other clothes on (including boots). Only pull said trousers up in the morning when leaving.

 
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 19:38:08 )
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BUMP
 
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
 


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Ellemeno (Thu Feb 2 2006 19:49:59 )
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I can't for the life of me think of one. I love this thread.

"It ain't a belief, cupcake, it is who they are."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - LuckySeven (Fri Feb 3 2006 03:49:52 )
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Loving this thread!! Bump!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Fri Feb 3 2006 20:49:49 )
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It is proper to slightly flare one nostril and swallow hard when being told that your deceased lover was thinking about setting up houskeeping with another man.

Ennis: " At least this is easier to pack than them soup boxes!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ryan_loves_cody-1 (Fri Feb 3 2006 21:18:39 )
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bump

One more chain I break
to get me closer to you

Everyone should read this thread. It is hilarious    


 by - snuffle007 (Sat Feb 4 2006 19:44:47 )
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Bump


 
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
 

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - grghls (Sun Feb 5 2006 12:33:09 )
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 UPDATED Sun Feb 5 2006 12:37:24

 
when gay saddle tramps hook up, the one who can catch objects suddenly tossed his way will be the pitcher and the one who cannot catch will be the catcher. the logic of the west, go figure.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Lebois (Tue Feb 7 2006 17:24:18 )
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Bump ?
Bump... absolutely

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Tue Feb 7 2006 18:30:00 )
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The fastest way to a cowboy's heart is through a broken harmonica.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - VirginiaGal (Tue Feb 7 2006 18:33:17 )
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 UPDATED Wed Feb 8 2006 17:03:50

 
When bikers won't shut their slop-bucket mouths in front of your children, the proper response is to kick their teeth in and say the F word, also in front of said children, then be photographed fetchingly in front of an exploding fireworks display.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - allovertheworld (Tue Feb 7 2006 19:13:11 )
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When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.



Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 8 2006 16:54:04 )
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the one who can catch objects suddenly tossed his way will be the pitcher and the one who cannot catch will be the catcher. the logic of the west, go figure.
 


Ha ha! That's great. These are all great. I'm only jealous I haven't come up with one yet. Hmmmm....must think of something.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 8 2006 16:57:00 )
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When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.
 



So true - the first time I saw BBM that's exactly what I thought - editing goof. Big one! I did not realize that was a flashback. Don't ask me why. Lack of sideburns in flashback scene should have tipped me off....
But now, 4 viewings later (that's a total of 5), and many many many (SO mnay) visits to this board later, I know the truth!

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Offline SFEnnisSF

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2007, 02:49:03 pm »
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Ellemeno (Sat Feb 18 2006 10:31:56 )
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>> When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.


LOL!


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Sat Feb 18 2006 10:45:47 )
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Some of my favorites:
 
Color of cowboy hat and horse should differ lest one appear too 'matchy.' Black hat with palomino, or white hat with roan mare are acceptable.

Brush up on weird ass jargon like "stemming the rose" and "on the QT" and "pair of deuces" before applying for a job.

Be careful to enunciate clearly so that "goin' fishin'" doesn't come out "goin' *beep* .

Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller,farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.
 


"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 14:01:12 )
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Bump!

Calling all funny, genius brokies on board: I'm hungry for more nuances of cowboy ettiqutte. Feed me! (Please.  )

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 14:02:53 )
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Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller,farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.
 

This one rocks my world. Sad. Clever. Cute. Perfect.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 14:06:27 )
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This post has brought me so much pleasure. It'd make an awesome poster (as in the kind you hang on your wall). Rock on.

(Thanks to jmmgallagher, and all the clever people here who made me laugh!)

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - grghls (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:26:38 )
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 UPDATED Tue Feb 21 2006 16:29:51

 
leave no doubt about the heterosexuality of producers, script writers, director, and principal actors by having spurned gay cowboy, played by gorgeous hollywood leading male star, hook-up with troll-like mexican prostitute and actually get rejected by troll-like rodeo clown.


cowboys with moles on their faces are gay. the one with the fewest moles will top the other.


when a gay cowboy knows that sexual congress with his beard is imminent, it is advisable to sit on the edge of the bed feigning exhaustion while showing a little butt cleavage, with the eyes closed. listen to beard's demands to up scale living quarters and engage in foreplay to deflect those demands, with the eyes closed. turn off the lights when it becomes impossible to further delay proving avowed heterosexuality, with the eyes closed. ignore beard’s entreaties to "come here", flip her over and perform "coitus in ano" with the eyes closed. at this point a jump cut with suggestive commentary will occur: "let her rip and snort boys." the gay cowboy will be instantly transported back to a tent on a mountain in wyoming that is really in alberta with male beloved's face burned into his mind. at this point it is safe to open the eyes. this will ensure the gay cowboy will not "whip babies" between fishing trips.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Stone-In-Shoe (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:37:33 )
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I have a question about some cowboy stuff. Hopefully somebody can answer it. I read the story before the film and neither it nor the film answered it.

Why is it necessary to take sheep (or any animal) up into the mountains when they could do just as well sitting on a farm? I assume this is a common practice.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:37:44 )
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Thanks for resurrecting this awesome thread, grghls!
I especially love your last one, laughed out loud!

I, too, noticed that suggestive jump cut! So naughty. LOL.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:39:42 )
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Acceptable forms of address include "Cowboy," "Friend," and "Bud."
For women, your choices are more limited, and usually restricted to a simple "ma'am."

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Ellemeno (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:44:12 )
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>> Why is it necessary to take sheep (or any animal) up into the mountains when they could do just as well sitting on a farm? I assume this is a common practice.

Free food. They keep moving the sheep while the weather is good enough and grass is growing, always moving to fresh food. Keeping them penned in means bringing (bought, usually) food to them.


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Stone-In-Shoe (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:53:28 )
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I get it now. I assumed it had to do with grazing but wasn't sure. When the weather turns cold, however, food will have to be imported, I'm sure.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - grghls (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:59:45 )
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 UPDATED Fri Mar 3 2006 15:30:59

 
sheep are extremely destructive to the grass they graze. there have been major wars in the past between cattlemen and sheep farmers. sheep eat down into the root and it takes a very long time for the grass to recover. sheep may even kill the grass they graze. cattle do not do this, they eat only the stalk and not the roots so the grass recovers quickly. where cattle ranching is long established it is hard for sheep farmers to get the best pasture and they will quite often end up on distant and inhospitable range disdained by cattle ranchers.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hungry_hungryhippos (Tue Feb 21 2006 17:06:37 )
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God I love this - I haven't laughed this hard in a week!!!! Keep up the good work... Can't believe I haven't stumbled on this thread yet...

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Brkback (Tue Feb 21 2006 20:54:01 )
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 UPDATED Fri Feb 24 2006 00:11:47

 
Always situate your kids' swing-set directly in the exhaust path of laundromat gas dryers. The carbon monoxide will keep them playing quietly, immune from trauma caused by screaming arguments with the wife, and eliminate any need for your assistance with their playtime activities.

Ennis: " This easier to pack than them soup boxes!"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hungry_hungryhippos (Wed Feb 22 2006 03:28:06 )
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bump

everybody should read this..

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - WYsecretTX (Wed Feb 22 2006 07:42:33 )
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When someone has trouble controlling his horse, make sure you point out that his horse has a low startle point, as he might have not noticed.


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 09:33:30 )
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This thread is one of my all-time favorites. Because I can never think of any myself, I'm re-posting a few more I love:
 
When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.

If your Daddy looks kinda mad about something, even though you know he's probably not mad at you and your sister...when he asks you if you need a push on the swingset, just say no. He's pretty strong and centrifugal force is not something to test without the helmets that kids of the future will be wearing.

When a stranger visits your home, decides to rummage through a family member's closet and take an item of clothing without permission, it is expected that you should offer a paper bag for him to take said item home.
 


   


"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Julie01 (Wed Feb 22 2006 10:37:43 )
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You never punch out your ex-wife, no matter how much you want to.

"You come back and see us again"--Jack's mother
One thing never changed: the brilliant charge of their infrequent couplings was darkened by the sense of time flying, never enough time, never enough.--Annie Proulx, "brokeback Mountain

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 10:40:06 )
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Bartenders, when asked by a patron to identify a young lady who has been shooting come-hither glances at said patron all night, will thoughtfully furnish not only the young lady's name, but also her daddy's financial status.

"Fishing" is a unviersally understood, gay cowboy code word for sex. This code word works in both Texas and Wyoming. Occasionally "hunting" may be understood to mean the same thing.

When propositioning a new cowboy acquaintance, it is considered more refined to build up to suggestions of "fishing" with talk of whiskey and crawpey houses, whatever they may be.

When, deep down, you suspect your cowboy husband is having an affair with another man, avoid facing the issue by diving headlong into book-keeping and accounting. This is the cowboy wife equivalent to drowning one's sorrows in drink. Caveat: this requires a certain financial stability, ideally springing from a successful family business in farm machinery.

If you happen to be a poor Wyoming cowboy wife, it's best to strangle on your hurt and anger for at least 8 years, before taking action, such as filing for divorce. An additional two years are adviseable before confronting said husband about his gay love affair.

Younger children may disappear fromsecond half of film. Expect no explanation, as none will be given. The occasional mention of the absent child's name will suffice to indicate her continued existence. Male children may not be grant4ed this courtesy.

Thanksgiving is the preferred time to invite your ex-husband over and out him in your kitchen.

Taking creative liberties with your ex-husband's lover's name is appreciated (i.e. Jack Nasty instead of Jack Twist), especially when your ex-husband takes similar liberties with his lover's name (i.e. Jack *beep* Twist).

When hearing screaming, crying, and general commotion in your kitchen, where your wife and her ex are doing the dishes, it is best to ignore the situation. Don't get up and see what is going on, and above all, do not go make sure that your wife is alright. Instead, remain seated in living room, smoking a cigar and drinking brandy. Feign attentiveness only when wife's violent ex-husband storms out of house. This polite overlooking of the situation - and of your wife's well being - will be much appreciated.

When you discover your husband is having an affair with another cowboy, the prudent cowboy wife will wait at least 10 years to confront said husband. Remember to allow a minimum of two years between divorcing your husband and confronting him about his affair and his homosexuality. This will give you time to collect your thoughts, and prepare what to say.


"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 10:42:54 )
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There are some amazing posts on this thread! Thanks for the laugh!

I'll attempt a few:

- Jumping up and down ridiculously while mimicking a drunken rodeo clown will definitely fetch you some brownie points; it will definitely ensure that the cowboy object of your affections is looking and smiling at you for a good few minutes.

- When replying to postcards from a lover you havent seen for few years, it is best to follow the 'no more than 2 or 3 words' rule - it is a sure way to keep them wondering about you and wanting more!

- When going on fishing trips with a secret cowboy lover, please please please, whatever you do, dont forget your fishing net and creel case in front of your wife!!



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 11:30:40 )
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 UPDATED Wed Feb 22 2006 13:06:02

 
When greeting or bidding your two daughters goodbye, you may kiss only one of them. Choose wisely.

When leaving on "fishing trips," it is perfectly acceptable not to kiss your wife goodbye, or even say "See you later." It's best to just ignore her as much as possible. She'll repay your adherence to this rule of cowboy ettiquette by helpfully reminding you to take along your creel case, which you have forgotten in your eagerness to leave and meet your lover.

Ministers conducting wedding ceremonies are expected to make lame jokes, which will be politely tittered at by those in attendance.

The typical cowboy honeymoon consists of 1 day of sledding down a snowy mountain with your bride.

The only time it is permissible for a cowboy to wear headgear other than a cowboy hat is when shoveling asphalt, in which case a baseball cap is considered the proper topper.

When ending a relationship with a girlfriend, the best modus operandi is to simply drop off the face of the earth. A good ways to accomplish this include ignoring any notes and messages she leaves for you. Whatever you do, do not tell her you are leaving. Eventually she will get the hint, and hook up with a rebound beau who "even talks." Good for her.

Should your spurned girlfriend confront you, place the blame on her, alluding to her rebound beau and telling her you "got the hint." Do not acknowledge the fact that it was you who terminated the relationship.

Be circumspect when answering questions about your recent whereabouts. "Here and there" is the most suitable reply to questions like "Where ya been?"

If your marriage ends because you have been cheating on your wife with your cowboy lover, and because you have been generally unattentive and sullen, it is adviseable to act as though you were the injured party, and lay blame for the dissolution of the marriage on your wife. If said (ex-)wife inquires whether you intend to remarry, you may reply in the negative, explaining, "once burned." After all, she divorced you. And you can't imagine why.


"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 11:31:31 )
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OK - Lucise - you've inspired me! I'll give it a try!

- When going on a fishing trip, the considerate cowboy actually removes the price tag from his rod and creel case, reads wife's note, and acknowledges note to wife upon return. If no fishing occurs on the said trip, cowboy stops at market and brings home some 'brownies' (trouts) for wife and girls, who he knows loves them.

- When eating Thanksgiving dinner with the ex-wife and her whimpy new husband, the polite cowboy refrains from intentionally making the new husband look even less manly by commenting on the electric carving knife or ice skating on tv.



"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:02:53 )
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<<
If no fishing occurs on the said trip, cowboy stops at market and brings home some 'brownies' (trouts) for wife and girls
>>

lol! I was thinking of that too! :D

How about another? Ok, why the hell not :)

When expecting a visit from long-lost cowboy lover, get 3 packets of ciggies and as many cases of beer as you can carry; sit by an open window and smoke/drink to your nervous heart's content, then pass out on the couch completely surrounded by empty beer bottles. WHen said cowboy lover arrives and french kisses you, trust me, the beer taste in your mouth will be the sweetest honey he ever tasted!

lets hear more folks! :D


'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:13:43 )
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 UPDATED Wed Feb 22 2006 13:40:03

 
EnnisLovesJack - you and Lucise are on a roll!

- While it's typically considered polite to groom oneself in private, it is permissable for a cowboy to shave out of a cup, using a side-mirror to see, when applying for a job herding sheep.

- Any glaces at fellow cowboys applying for said job should be sideways and barely noticable except to the camera viewing audience. Fellow cowboy should keep his hat low and eyes averted so as not to see he's being watched.



"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:31:11 )
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Ok..what the heck, I cant stop thinking of more of these things :)

- After enjoying a summer of sheep-herding and 'intense couplings' with your cowboy lover, the best way to deal with the situation is by turning down all offers for financial assistance he makes, sulking up a hill and punching said-lover's lights out when he tries to show you some affection. This is a sure way to try to separate yourself from him forever. (NOT!)

- Whatever you do, wherever you go, no matter how desperate you are: DO NOT (I repeat, DON'T) hit on a sinister-looking, bizarro terd of a rodeo clown! That will be lower than hitting rock bottom, especially when you are still pining for your unavailable yet handsome, 'strong-silent-type', macho cowboy lover.

- If you have a neighbor called Joe or Aguirre who owns a pair of binoculars, CALL THE POLICe!




'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - MtBecky (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:32:36 )
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I never knew that when washing clothes, a cowboy must remove all their clothes except for boots while washing clothes in river. :O)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:12:51 )
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 rollin' rollin' rollin'.
This is so fun! I love this thread.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - queen_of_the_troubled_teen (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:22:53 )    Ignore this User | Report Abuse
 


 
I love this thread too, but when I went to see the film again yesterday, they all kept popping in my head (this and the 'lines you won't hear in BBM' thread. Not only did I keep nearly giggling at random moments, it's a good job I've lost my voice or I might have shouted out a few in the cinema. especially the bad news makes chopping wood disappear. i did actually mouth that one, just no sound came out!!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:25:30 )
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That's funny. I can totally see that.
I find myself mouthing along with several of the lines in the movie, and the chorus to 'quizas' that ends the mexico scene. could probably do most of the movie dialogue by now, if i tried, having seen it 10 times.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:38:35 )
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 UPDATED Wed Feb 22 2006 17:07:43

 
 
I find myself mouthing along with several of the lines in the movie
 

We (all of crazy Brokies) are going to have to rent a huge theater somewhere, and watch it together, first in quiet, respectful, silence and sobbing, and then a second time, where everyone says every line of the dialogue right along with the movie!

And yes, you can dress like your favorite character (of course). You can also bring props (cowboy hats, belt buckles, whisky bottles, etc.), but actual sheep or livestock of any kind are forbidden.

One more try here -

- The polite cowboy will never refuse the offer to rub the tired, smelly feet of his waitress. Since the stoic cowboy spends his mornings castrating calves and is thus used to unpleasant odors and body parts, he is hardly fazed by such bizarre request.

"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Shuggy (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:51:15 )
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 UPDATED Wed Feb 22 2006 15:00:04

 
 
We (all of crazy Brokies) are going to have to rent a huge theater somewhere, and watch it together, first in quiet, respectful, silence and sobbing, and then a second time, where everyone says every line of the dialogue right along with the movie!

And yes, you can dress like your favorite character (of course). You can also bring props (cowboy hats, belt buckles, whisky bottles, etc.), but actual sheep or livestock of any kind are forbidden.
 

What a great idea! Should one performance have subtitles? May we ad lib at the second one?

Us: Did the horses get wet?
Ennis: Aint no rains on this one.

Us: Is sex with sheep addictive, Ennis?
Ennis: I wish I knew how to quit ewe.


"If you can't stand it, you gotta fix it."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hungry_hungryhippos (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:53:27 )
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Whilst kneeling by a stream, your cowboy lover may, from time to time, query you as to how “relations” are with your missus. He may then express insecurity that his homosexuality may have been discovered by others. It is prudent NOT to point out the obvious: that said lover grabbed you and frenched you on the street in broad-daylight years ago and that the odds of nobody seeing (other than his wife) were remote and that, furthermore, 10 to 12 years is probably an acceptable time for the gossip to have been passed on.

When seducing your friend who, you’re not even sure is gay, grabbing his hand and putting it onto your erect appendage, really ought to be enough to do the trick.

When having a moment of tenderness and seducing him again the following night, it helps the proceedings immensely if you are shirtless and have enormous baby-blue eyes and are bathed in an attractive, flattering yellowy-glow.

Whispering between hesitant cowboys is very sexy, because it ignites mass discussion on the internet about what was ACTUALLY said.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hungry_hungryhippos (Wed Feb 22 2006 14:10:20 )
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Chattering your teeth on a cold night may just lead to getting laid.

Don't worry that your bottle of whiskey may run out. It never does.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 14:30:06 )
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We (all of crazy Brokies) are going to have to rent a huge theater somewhere, and watch it together, first in quiet, respectful, silence and sobbing, and then a second time, where everyone says every line of the dialogue right along with the movie!
 

Yes oh yes, please yes!!! That would be a phenomenal experience!!!!!!!!
And I like the idea of watching it again immediately following the first viewing. Think how soothing and comforting it'd be to go from crying for Jack and Ennis, to watching them fall in love all over again. Yum.
 
And yes, you can dress like your favorite character (of course). You can also bring props (cowboy hats, belt buckles, whisky bottles, etc.), but actual sheep or livestock of any kind are forbidden.
 

I must admit, since Brokeback Mountain I have an insatiable craving for cowboy boots. Too bad I can't afford them right now. But someday, they will be mine. Oh yes, they will be mine.
Also kind of want a cowboy hat, though not sure how I'd look in one.

You know it would be awesome to have the equivalent of an IMDB board Brokies (or, heck, all Brokies) family reunion! 'Course we'd all be meeting for the first time.
 
When having a moment of tenderness and seducing him again the following night, it helps the proceedings immensely if you are shirtless and have enormous baby-blue eyes...
Whispering between hesitant cowboys is very sexy, because it ignites mass discussion on the internet about what was ACTUALLY said.
Chattering your teeth on a cold night may just lead to getting laid.
 

Sheyne, love these. LOL. Whispering between cowboys is sexy, period.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 14:53:36 )
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hey ELJ..

<<
I must admit, since Brokeback Mountain I have an insatiable craving for cowboy boots.
>>

I have had a longing for cowboy boots before BBM..and now, I actually have 5 pairs! :D The other day, I went to the theatre to watch BBM and I was wearing my deadly black cowboy boots. I was sitting outside, waiting to enter the theatre, then this guy sitting beside me commented on how hot these boots were, and then he said - "lemme guess, you are going to watch brokeback mountain?!"..what a proud brokie i was at that moment.

But I digress, this is a cool thread, everyone should check it out!



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 15:17:40 )
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i'm so jealous.
cool story. where'd you get your 5 pairs o' boots?

bumpity bump bump bump

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - bx_is_da_best-1 (Wed Feb 22 2006 15:23:31 )
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Always rub door handles before telling someone something difficult! I did tha the other day and the difficult thing was totally ruined by me laughing at myself for being obsessed!

JAKE GYLLENHAAL FOR BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR!- Forget "Jack Nasty loves you!"...I love Jack Nasty!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 15:24:13 )
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<<
where'd you get your 5 pairs o' boots?
>>

ELJ -
Before BBM, I had 4 pairs, and after BBM, I actually had to go get another pair I had been eyeing for a while. I was in Europe last December and I bought 2 pairs in Amsterdam! I live in the prairies in Canada, so there is no shortage of boots here either :D

[another shameless BUMP].



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - catglith (Wed Feb 22 2006 15:46:06 )
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Seriously, this had cheered me up like you wouldn't believe. I've had a crappy week and this post is just sooo funny.

Makes a much needed change from some of the emotionally draining posts!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - latjoremekeed (Wed Feb 22 2006 16:55:42 )
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When your wife obliquely questions your sexual orientation, the proper response is to punish yourself in some dramatic way. Dancing with an overtalkative neighbor lady, though possibly boring, does not make as strong a statement as getting someone to beat you up.


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 17:05:44 )
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May we ad lib at the second one?

Us: Did the horses get wet?
Ennis: Aint no rains on this one.

Us: Is sex with sheep addictive, Ennis?
Ennis: I wish I knew how to quit ewe.
 


Well, Shuggs - don't know about these, although hats off for the creativity. My only hesitation is that we'd miss the next bit of dialogue because the sound of everyone groaning, after hearing these, would be so loud!

 

"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hungry_hungryhippos (Wed Feb 22 2006 17:19:55 )
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shameless bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Shuggy (Wed Feb 22 2006 17:51:24 )
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May we ad lib at the second one?

Us: Did the horses get wet?
Ennis: Aint no rains on this one.

Us: Is sex with sheep addictive, Ennis?
Ennis: I wish I knew how to quit ewe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Well, Shuggs - don't know about these, although hats off for the creativity. My only hesitation is that we'd miss the next bit of dialogue because the sound of everyone groaning, after hearing these, would be so loud!
 

They wouldn't after the 40th or 50th time....


"If you can't stand it, you gotta fix it."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 17:54:44 )
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* When faced with a difficult situation, or when confronting someone, or when you are just plain p!ssed off, NEVER use the words: "this is a godd!mn b!tch of an unsatisfactory situation"; unless you wish to - a)feel completely self-conscious or b)start giggling and risk looking like an imbecile.

* If you have a cowboy lover, try not to 'put the blocks' on any barmaids (or waitresses in general), no matter how eager they are, especially when you are only interested in your cigarette when she is dancing with you.




'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 18:29:26 )
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Three words: Lean. Against. EVERYTHING.
 


Glad you're feeling better catglith - try this one above next time you're having a bad day!

"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - hungry_hungryhippos (Thu Feb 23 2006 04:06:07 )
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A couple more:

When cleaning a shirt in a stream, it is important to be nude, save for your boots. And three smacks with a small sodden stick is all the cleaning a shirt requires.

When undertaking an illicit gay affair in the mountains, let discretion be the better part of valour. Simply put, don't jump your shirtless lover's bones OUTSIDE the tent, lest your homophobic employer happens to be spying on you through the binoculars.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Thu Feb 23 2006 11:50:12 )
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<<
Always situate your kids' swing-set directly in the exhaust path of laundromat gas dryers. The carbon monoxide will keep them playing quietly
>>

ahahahah! lol
When I need a good laugh, I always go looking for this thread! What a hoot!



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - Rontrigger (Fri Feb 24 2006 00:15:39 )
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Bump and grind.

"You can't have Ennis without Jack."--Annie Proulx

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Fri Feb 24 2006 15:36:18 )
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<<
When someone offers to help clear dinner table, it is impolite to accuse them of buggery, even if you have reason to believe it true.
>>

lol!!

Another:
Before making 'friendly' gestures like putting your pal's hand on your crutch, keep in mind that you might end up totally f--ked up! (either way it'll be an event to remember) :o)

[ok, so that was abit crude, but hey, its friday :)]



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Fri Feb 24 2006 16:09:30 )
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bump bump bump
BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Fri Feb 24 2006 19:26:11 )
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 UPDATED Tue Feb 28 2006 23:34:44

 
When washing your privates out in the open where your partner can see you, always keep your cowboy hat on.

When entering a tent where your partner is already lying down, good manners dictate that you remove your hat and cover any bulge that might be showing in the crotch area of your jeans.


"ain't no reins on this one"

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - wplains (Fri Feb 24 2006 20:28:00 )
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 UPDATED Fri Feb 24 2006 20:29:08

 
This is absolutely hilarious, and to think I never had the curiosity to read this thread.

When having a moment of tenderness and seducing him again the following night, it helps the proceedings immensely if you are shirtless and have enormous baby-blue eyes...
Whispering between hesitant cowboys is very sexy, because it ignites mass discussion on the internet about what was ACTUALLY said.
Chattering your teeth on a cold night may just lead to getting laid.
_______________________________________________________________________________You forgot to mention the beautiful shirtless back visible as you get on top of said lover

[Post deleted]    



 
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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - kula17 (Sun Feb 26 2006 23:30:00 )
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When a foreman picks up his phone halfway and just stares at you, it means you're dismissed from his trailer.

Improving your horse-riding skills will result in better lovemaking skills

When you suspect your cowboy husband is being unfaithful, don't throw away or tear up the postcards he keeps getting from his secret lover.

When kicking back on the sofa, prop your bare feet up on the coffee table for maximum comfort.

To best seduce a drunk cowboy in a bar, force him to watch you dance. Hair-whippage is a plus.
 
When streaking out the door with boyfriend, it is most cordial to offer wife some smokes
 
More like: Always have an extra pack of smokes ready for the misses. lol

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - stardog70 (Mon Feb 27 2006 00:12:27 )
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Fantastic thread! All these gut busters, after all those tears.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - stardog70 (Mon Feb 27 2006 00:32:46 )
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After killing an elk, carefully skin and gut it, leaving no traces of blood anywhere, and hang some of the meat on a rack where the flies and bears can get at it. You may have to strip naked and wash your clothes after accomplishing this.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Mon Feb 27 2006 08:36:07 )
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[Shamelessly bumping this thread] :)



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - GregumsdaGreggy (Mon Feb 27 2006 09:35:23 )
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People named Alma wear really ugly shirts, particularly if they are a Jr.

______________
"To love another person is to see the face of God."
-Les Mis
^Think about it.^

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - GregumsdaGreggy (Mon Feb 27 2006 09:39:25 )
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southern women have really ugly names.

______________
"To love another person is to see the face of God."
-Les Mis
^Think about it.^

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - spiceylife (Mon Feb 27 2006 22:46:50 )
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An ungrateful woolie may give a fair imitation of 'The Worm' breakdance on the back of a cowboy's head as he carries it to safety. This can be embarassing. However, a good cowboy will never drop said ungrateful woolie on its head in the river.

Your whiskey bottle will disappear into thin air during impromptu rodeo demonstrations. Just hold tight because it always reappears at a later time.

Even the horse with a high startle point will be startled by half-naked, sexy cowboys chasing and wrestling each other to the ground. The horse with the low startle point will be totally freaked out and want to leave immediately.

If you suspect that your 'ranch stiffs' are 'stemming the rose' on your time, squint your eyes a lot when you speak to either of them, but never just burst out with what you know straight away. Save it for much later. Ditto for a cowboy's wife.

[Post deleted]    



 
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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Tue Feb 28 2006 23:47:07 )
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 UPDATED Tue Feb 28 2006 23:51:55

 
Cowgirls who are interested in rodeo cowboys show their interest by wearing horseshoe ear rings.


Words that cowboys don't know the meaning of ( and don't try to explain ) condiments

Words that cowboys don't know the meaning of ( but can be explained ) pentecostal

300!    


 by - thewaever (Wed Mar 1 2006 00:29:43 )
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Don't buy rodeo clowns drinks

___

"Did you ever notice that Peter O'Toole has a double-phallic name?" -Groucho Marx

Re: 300!    


 by - reluminaria (Wed Mar 1 2006 03:13:55 )
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When exiting a bar quickly to avoid gay-bashing by unappreciative rodeo clown, it is entirely appropriate to pay for beer with said clown's money.

Cowboy Etiquette    


 by - Front-Ranger (Wed Mar 1 2006 06:31:46 )
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Under no circumstance should you approach a stranger and introduce yourself if you find yourselves waiting in the same employment line. This is especially important if said stranger looks exactly like you in age, build, dress, etc. The appropriate behavior is to hide behind your hat brim. If you later find yourself feeling friendly towards said stranger, the appropriate way to express yourself is to make fun of his harmonica playing and marksmanship. If all else fails, pick a fight and deck the guy while he is trying to nurse your nosebleed.

[Post deleted]    


 UPDATED Wed Mar 1 2006 12:56:54

 
This message has been deleted by the poster

Re: Cowboy Etiquette    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Mar 1 2006 15:12:56 )
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Under no circumstance should you approach a stranger and introduce yourself if you find yourselves waiting in the same employment line. This is especially important if said stranger looks exactly like you in age, build, dress, etc. The appropriate behavior is to hide behind your hat brim. If you later find yourself feeling friendly towards said stranger, the appropriate way to express yourself is to make fun of his harmonica playing and marksmanship. If all else fails, pick a fight and deck the guy while he is trying to nurse your nosebleed.
 

Righteous, Front-Ranger.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: Cowboy Etiquette    


 by - southendmd (Thu Mar 2 2006 05:48:02 )
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After having a dalliance with your cowboy liaisonnaire, especially after an extended period without canoodling, it is entirely appropriate to express to said cowboy your fond thoughts of him from afar by mentioning how many times you have wrung it out whilst thinking of him.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - dcij47a (Thu Mar 2 2006 05:53:24 )
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Cowboys wear no underwear!



Jack Twist: Tell you what. The truth is... sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - southendmd (Thu Mar 2 2006 05:55:36 )
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but they do wear socks

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - whitedog2 (Thu Mar 2 2006 06:25:58 )
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Homosexual cowboys are always immensely attractive compared to heterosexual ones.

Homosexual cowboys are always completely unaware of their sex appeal.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Thu Mar 2 2006 10:38:07 )
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Women in Wyoming and Texas have absolutely NO gaydar. Hence they frequently marry gay cowboys, unawares.

If you are an attractive, gay, big-blue-eyed cowboy, avoid batting your thick black lashes at straight men in bars. They may take offense, refuse offered drinks, and sass you.

If your bar-room advances are rebuffed, the nearest bartender will step in to distract you from the rejection by suggesting you try a new occupation. Say, calf-ropin'.

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Thu Mar 2 2006 18:00:51 )
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bump - one the top five threads

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Thu Mar 2 2006 18:20:09 )
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If you're a broken-hearted cowboy, and have any hope of mending your broken heart, you'll find a way to attend your daughter's wedding, even if it's to a roughneck, and you can remember what love was like when you were 19 years old yourself.

 

"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Thu Mar 2 2006 18:26:07 )
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Another favorite (thanks ndatmo)
 

Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller,farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.

 
 


"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Thu Mar 2 2006 19:57:20 )
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Another favorite (thanks ndatmo)
Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller, farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.
 

Good call, yaadpyar. I think of my many favorites here, this is my ultimate favorite!

Thank you, jmmgallagher for starting this wonderful thread. And thanks to all the creative and funny people who contributed. These treasures of Cowboy Etiquette make me laugh  , cry  , and feel HAPPY  !

"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - balrog20-ressurected (Thu Mar 2 2006 20:46:35 )
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When a cowboy sneaks off with his buddy and has to make excuses to suspicious wife, stick a tooth brush in your mouth when lying, making sure to stare at toothbrush. This keeps you from tripping up when giving BS answers to wife.



I always wondered how come you never brought any trouts home...

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ray-390 (Fri Mar 3 2006 02:49:18 )
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 UPDATED Fri Mar 3 2006 02:51:23

 
It has taken 311 posts to make me curious enough to venture into this post, and all I have to say is 'WHAT WAS I THINKING?!' It's bloody hilarious.

"You can't get comfortable until your boot is shoved ALL THE WAY INTO the fire." ROLF!!!!

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ray-390 (Fri Mar 3 2006 03:06:08 )
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When someone offers to help clear dinner table, it is impolite to accuse them of buggery, even if you have reason to believe it true.

LMAO!

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

Re: Your are right on about the dangle    


 by - ray-390 (Fri Mar 3 2006 03:22:00 )
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'If a guy was just naturally squatting down by a creek like that his nuts would be hanging free, try it'

Have you factored in the temperature?

His nuts AND his sack are more than likely tucked under his pancreas!


~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Fri Mar 3 2006 11:04:57 )
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 UPDATED Fri Mar 3 2006 11:05:12

 
 Bummmmp

"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - anml-lvr (Fri Mar 3 2006 11:14:13 )
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If your new love doesn't want anymore beans, get him soup....
Even if they are hard to pack.

Make him laugh. You will capture his heart.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Fri Mar 3 2006 15:41:14 )
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I was just listening to a song by Big & Rich - "save a horse, ride a cowboy"; and guess what I thought about? You got it!

More nuances of cowboy etiquette, let me see:

- Even though cowboys remove their hats when jumping over cliffs in the nude and skinny deeping in a lake...they however reserve the right to keep hats ON while bathing infront of potential lovers (as long as their eyes are hidden, who cares what else is exposed?)

- Thanks to Jack and Ennis, Fishermen everywhere will have NO job credibility for a long, long time to come!

Lets hear some more folks! :D



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lauragigs (Fri Mar 3 2006 16:04:36 )
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 UPDATED Fri Mar 3 2006 18:08:29

 
> Its perfectly acceptable to have sex fully clothed, just slip down pants a little. Keep boots on all the time.

- However, if sex, bathing, or other activity has taken place in the nude, the cowboy hat always goes on first when dressing.

- When teasing a fellow herder in the process of said dressing, always run off with his shirt, never the hat.

- You are free to cuss out any bartender who second-guesses your career choice (or sexual preference).

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Fri Mar 3 2006 16:27:25 )
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 UPDATED Sat Mar 4 2006 11:31:44

 
Do you think the bartender was implying that if Jack were engaged in the more prestigious pursuit of calf-roping, that his advances to Jimbo might have gotten a warmer reception? LOL.
He also makes a funny look when Jack walks up and announces he's buyin'. What's that all about?


"Uh...it's too late to go back to the sheep...up there."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - MasterSidious (Fri Mar 3 2006 23:50:52 )
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I wrote this in its own thread, but someone told me to post this here...Woot SPAM!!

"All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned On Brokeback Mountain"

By: Robert Fulgham, Larry McMurtry & John F. Kennedy

Most of what I really need to know about how to live, and what to do, and how to be, I learned in Wyoming. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain but at the top of Brokeback Mountain. These are the things I learned..

Share everything, including your sleeping bag.
Play fair, you don’t always get to be on top.
Texans don't drink coffee.
Don't hit people unless they keep turning the damn game on during dinner.
If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it.
Don't read things that aren't yours.
Say sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat, especially if you just spit on them.
You can't make it on a coupla high-altitude *beep* once or twice a year.
Flush & leave the seat up.
What you can't change, you've just got to ride out.
Warm beans and cold whiskey are good for you.
Take a nap every afternoon, let the dogs watch the sheep.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup - they all die. So do we if we get caught.
There ain't never enough time, never enough.

Think of what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world had whiskey and beans about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down in our sleeping bags for a nap. And it is still true, no matter how old you are, tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others. So, when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Sat Mar 4 2006 01:14:34 )
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bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ray-390 (Sat Mar 4 2006 15:12:23 )
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hahaha

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - yaadpyar (Sat Mar 4 2006 17:17:38 )
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Hey lucise - poor fishermen... Check your PMs.

"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - starboardlight (Sat Mar 4 2006 17:27:33 )
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People named Alma wear really ugly shirts, particularly if they are a Jr.
 


I remember every girl in the early 80's had that shirt. i break out my elementary school year book and practically every girl was an Alma Jr.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Sat Mar 4 2006 23:20:02 )
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MasterSidious - thanks for sharing that. I love it. I think I may have to institute a 3 0'clock, warm beans & cold whiskey ritual, followed by a nice nap in a snuggly sleeping bag shared with a handsome cowboy.

"Uh...it's too late to go back to the sheep...up there."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Sat Mar 4 2006 23:31:06 )
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 UPDATED Sun Mar 5 2006 14:26:11

 
When herding woolies, make sure you sleep with the sheep, 100%.

When wrangling a herd of sheep, be sure to carry at least one, token sheep, while the others walk. You may carry said sheep in your arms, over your shoulders, or stow it in your saddle bag.

After parting with your reticent new cowboy lover, allow up to four years before attempting contact. Lest you seem too eager.

If possible, marry and have a child first.


"Uh...it's too late to go back to the sheep...up there."

Bump Only    


 by - ray-390 (Sun Mar 5 2006 13:08:30 )
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~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Sun Mar 5 2006 16:42:08 )
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When your straight and gay worlds are about to collide, tuck the back of your shirt firmly into your pants, to regain composure and "batten down the hatches".



(Thanks to latjoremekeed's brilliant insight, the source for this bit of ettiqutte wisdom. See his inspired explanation of Ennis's compulsive shirt tucking habit on the thread "Ennis and his shirt habbit," which can be found at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388795/board/flat/37654969?d=37733161#37733161 )

Keep on' bumpin, cowboys!


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ray-390 (Mon Mar 6 2006 00:00:39 )
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Tapping your oversized belt buckle twice after urinating can be interpreted as the Cowboy mating call!

~ Singles Dances? I thought we were dating! ~

Need some joy back on the board.    



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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2007, 02:51:40 pm »
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - lucise (Thu Mar 9 2006 09:43:47 )
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 UPDATED Fri Mar 10 2006 09:22:41

 
I apologise in advance if these are crude: :D

* If you are the wife of a cowboy who loves 'to fish', make sure that his main 'fishing buddy':
- Does NOT have the ability to mysteriously incite bouts of heavy-breathing in your husband; and
- Does NOT look like sex on legs; and
- Does NOT look like Jack f---ing Twist for that matter!

* Although high-altitude f--ks are highly recommended for hot rodeo cowboys, they must however be administered in large numbers for complete satisfaction. (talk about sexual healing for cowboys!) ;)



'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - dreamy40 (Thu Mar 9 2006 11:47:35 )
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If your red hot cowboy lover offers lifetime committment, find excuses.

Re: Cowboy Etiquette    


 by - catglith (Thu Mar 9 2006 13:04:57 )
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LMAO!!!!

Re: Cowboy Etiquette    


 by - rpmnh03062 (Thu Mar 9 2006 13:44:13 )
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When your little girl has left your place, after telling you she is getting married, and leaves her sweater behind, look out the door to see if you can catch her to give it to her even if she left so long ago that she is probably *miles* away by now...

Jack Nasty = sex on legs!    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Thu Mar 9 2006 20:40:18 )
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Not crude at all. I love these, Lucise. I thought the heavy breathing Ennis&Alma scene was kinda funny, too. She's practically orgasming over trying to seduce him into moving to town, oblivious to the fact that her feminine charms are futile with Ennis.

I also dig your high-altitude *beep* prescription. Take as needed, take often.

"Uh...it's too late to go back to the sheep...up there."

bump!    


 by - dreamy40 (Fri Mar 10 2006 05:05:25 )
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I am LOVING this thread. Resisted it (why??) for so long and now am committed with no excuses

Re: Cowboy etiquette    


 by - Front-Ranger (Fri Mar 10 2006 07:08:41 )
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If you can't sleep at night, repeat these words over and over:
I'm sorry, S'alright, Ennis, c'mere...
Works better than counting sheep

just bumpin' cowboys    


 by - NuitEtJour (Fri Mar 10 2006 07:43:17 )
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bump

[Post deleted]    



 
This message has been deleted by an administrator

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Sat Mar 11 2006 23:20:28 )
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bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - EnnisLovesJack (Mon Mar 13 2006 17:44:44 )
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Bumpety bump.

Mountain ranges must have funny names. Brokeback, the Grand Tetons, and the Big Horns are examples of acceptable mountain monikers.

"Uh...it's too late to go back to the sheep...up there."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Wed Mar 15 2006 20:08:12 )
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bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Sat Mar 18 2006 23:13:09 )
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bump

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - ray-390 (Sat Mar 18 2006 23:37:43 )
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There'll be no cavorting if there's no supporting!


Singles Dances? I thought we were dating!     


Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - pipedream (Sun Mar 19 2006 07:03:46 )
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 UPDATED Tue Mar 21 2006 12:06:31

 
* When assigned to the domestic duties in a cowboy camp for two, it's in your responsibility to ensure a balanced nutrition for your fellow cowboy. A strict vegetarian diet with a predominance of pulse (e.g. beans) is to be avoided as it might lead to increased airpressure that will eventually make it’s way out of diverse orifices of the body. This, in combination with musical instruments unprofessionally applied to said orifices, is very likely to cause everybody involved immense pain.

* Younger cowboys who are still in their growth are known to be very very hungry after they come back from sheep herding. The caring camp tender will make sure that some meat is served at least once in a while. Doing so, he should by all means avoid to appear petty. Cowboy: don't make do with a small animal. Rabbits and sheep are for Sissies. Be sure to come up with something more impressive, ideally an elk! We want some leftovers for the next day, don’t we?

* Elk-meat ist best served fresh. If his friend is a critical consumer the responsible cowboy will let him take part in the preparation process, starting with the killing, in order to assure him of the quality of the used products.

* With elk meat, no side dishes are needed. Avoid excessive seasoning (= be sparing with condiments). Serve with butt-warm whiskey.

* Some parsley as decoration would be desirable, yet is not obligatory. The lack of it can be made up for with some extra-attention for the guest after dinner.

Bon Apetit!

 

If ever I should tell the moment: Oh, stay! You are so beautiful! Then you may cast me into chains, then shall I smile upon perdition! (Goethe)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - pipedream (Sun Mar 19 2006 12:31:55 )
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 UPDATED Sun Mar 19 2006 12:40:07

 
* When planning to have sex with his buddy in the middle of nowhere, the dutiful cowboy is expected to choose the location for this carefully. Note: there should be enough room for at least one camera crew, even if we are dealing with confined spaces such as tents. To make things easier for said crew, pay attention to the lighting! There should be at least a camp fire or a full moon. Be prepared to repeat things when the film people didn't like your performance.

* When jumping on each other in the open nature, cowboys should make sure to be well visible from all directions. Remember: older beer-bellied men might be sitting somewhere in the woods with their binoculars. It would be very unkind indeed to deprive them of their well earned diversion, especially when they are the cowboys' employers.

 

If ever I should tell the moment: Oh, stay! You are so beautiful! Then you may cast me into chains, then shall I smile upon perdition! (Goethe)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - bjblakeslee (Mon Mar 20 2006 10:46:36 )
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Cowboy Up! (bump)

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - jshane2002 (Mon Mar 20 2006 16:05:16 )
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bump

[Post deleted]    



 
This message has been deleted by the poster

Bump!    


 by - pipedream (Wed Mar 22 2006 17:17:53 )
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Bump!

 


Re: bump    


 by - dreamy40 (Thu Mar 23 2006 06:04:19 )
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bumpity

Re: bump    


 by - pipedream (Sun Mar 26 2006 09:38:29 )
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bump!!

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - goadra (Wed Mar 29 2006 19:32:36 )
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Talk directly into the whiskey bottle: "Never taught me a thing, never once come to see me ride." "But as far as our marriage goes, we could do it over the phone."

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - amandazehnder (Wed Mar 29 2006 21:13:31 )
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When wearing a denim shirt/ jack along with blue jean... ALWAYS mismatch.

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - amandazehnder 5 days ago (Mon Apr 3 2006 20:17:24 )
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Bump 

Someone must have more to add here....

Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?    


 by - latjoremekeed 5 days ago (Tue Apr 4 2006 08:04:30 )
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If you're hoping to get your wife to take over childcare duty, try asking in a slight Australian accent, and she will immediately accomodate your wishes!

Re: bump    


 by - BannerHill 5 days ago (Tue Apr 4 2006 11:21:40 )
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I haven't read this thread but I want to. I will have to find it later. Gotta work right now...



"Hey Ennis, do you know someone named 'Jack'?"

Re: bump    


 by - amandazehnder 3 days ago (Wed Apr 5 2006 22:31:04 )
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Bumping because we all need a good laugh.
Hooray for the good threads.
 


Re: bump   


 by - cedarmagnolia 11 hours ago (Sun Apr 9 2006 02:00:45 )
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You may express your disgust towards your pig of a boss by grossly mispronouncing his name - Aguirre, for example, may be rendered as: "A-GARY"

"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2007, 02:35:02 am »



       

by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:00:19 )
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>> Color of cowboy hat and horse should differ lest one appear too 'matchy.' Black hat with palomino, or white hat with roan mare are acceptable.

My ultimate favorite...hysterical.... :laugh:



     Beautiful mind

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2007, 02:49:04 pm »


       

by - Ellemeno (Tue Jan 24 2006 16:00:19 )
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>> Color of cowboy hat and horse should differ lest one appear too 'matchy.' Black hat with palomino, or white hat with roan mare are acceptable.

My ultimate favorite...hysterical.... :laugh:



I'm pretty sure that was the lovely jmmgallagher's bon mot. 

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2007, 10:44:31 pm »
It's good to see this thread again. Kinda sad, though, to see the screen names of so many friends who have moved on.   :(
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #8 on: August 21, 2007, 05:47:56 pm »
It's good to see this thread again. Kinda sad, though, to see the screen names of so many friends who have moved on.   :(
We are the ones who have moved on, Jeff. They have moved off.   :(

And John Gallagher is still with us! I see his name among those online every so often. He doesn't say much, but he gets his point across!!

May 2019 be better for us all.

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Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
« Reply #9 on: March 18, 2010, 07:23:22 pm »
Dusty and Lefty discuss cowboy etiquette on "The Lives of the Cowboys" on NPR's Prairie Home Companion. Some high-time entertainment!! Check it out.
May 2019 be better for us all.