
I didn't think this list would generate such entertaining replies (pun intended). 
What I cannot believe...and I mean this seriously...is that anyone who would have a list like that would serve a FROZEN turkey. This is the way I would have written it (mind you, not that I am doing this)....
Back in October, or maybe even June...
Put in your reservation for a fresh-killed, range fed, organic fresh turkey. Plan on a maximum turkey size of 12 lbs. for best flavor, with an estimate of 1 lb per guest at serving time. If you will have more than 12 guests, it is better to roast two turkeys, rather than one very large turkey which will inevitably dry out and be tasteless.
L