Author Topic: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?  (Read 8860 times)

Offline Nikita111

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Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« on: December 12, 2007, 07:18:22 am »
I am 26 years old and year ago my Dad (53) was diagnosed with bladder cancer. It has been year and two months and he went to 5 surgeries and that tumors were coming back. Until now the results were for the first time negative. I hope, I pray even though I am atheist I thank God or some other higher power for this gift. Well, you never know for how long things stays okay so it learnt us to value each moment and not waste precious time with fights, regrets, blames and those stupid things.

But it also learnt me about my own mortality and I became very vulnerable at that time. Being 26 and thinking of death  was a certain hell for me but I went through. Well, not unharmed. I still have a fear of death but I hope that one day it will lower a bit.

This illness is so ugly. In my country so many people got ill with cancer. It seems like it is everywhere.

 >:(

And the dying of it must be one of the worst.

injest

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2007, 08:27:47 am »
Nikita, I am so happy for you that your fathers' tests are negative. that had to be a difficult thing for you to go through.

 :)

and what a nice 'gift' here at the holidays. I hope you and your father have many holidays before you.

What country do you live in?

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2007, 08:50:34 am »
I'm so sorry for your father's diagnoses.  Cancer is not easy to live with.  My mother was diagnosed when I was 15 years old.  She was in remission for a while, then it came back, back into remission, cancer came back, back into remission, ...it's been a rollercoaster ride my entire life.

Two years ago my sister was diagnosed with the same cancer and of course, now the bullseye is centered on me, since it's now very obvious how hereditary this cancer is in my immediate family.

So far, I'm cancer - free, but I can't count on that lasting.

It changes your life.  And if it's bad for you, imagine how it is to actually have the disease.   :(
I'm trying to enjoy my life now...before anything happens, you know?

It makes you appreciate what is good in life and makes you very impatient with what is little and petty.  Makes you keep things in perspective.

Offline Kelda

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2007, 03:25:27 pm »
Nikita - welcome. Cancer is a horrible illness. It cuts so many people in their prime - but for those that get through it - it gives many a new lease of life - reminding them that life is short and theyve got to use the tme they have. Perhaps thats the silver lining of the cloud to those who live through cancer.
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Offline Nikita111

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2007, 03:58:16 pm »
Nikita, I am so happy for you that your fathers' tests are negative. that had to be a difficult thing for you to go through.

 :)

and what a nice 'gift' here at the holidays. I hope you and your father have many holidays before you.

What country do you live in?


 I live in the Czech Republic. It is former Czechoslovakia for American folks. ;D

Yeah, I must say he was never sick. he worked the whole time and once in two-three months he had surgery. then they gave him chemotheraphy but only a local one straight to his bladder. It burnt but it probably helped. I hope so. I pray so.

 ;)

Offline Nikita111

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2007, 04:10:06 pm »
Dear Delalluvia, such a heartbreaking story of yours. I am sorry about your mother and you to have witnessed her fight since your age of 15!?! And I selfishly thought that I am too young for my parents to pass . . . that I am not able to accept their death.

What I agree with that you should chill and not thinking about you might have it or not. Well, I don't believe much in genetic origin of cancer. maybe it is naive of me but I read stories about a psychological background of cancer, of injustice. That had happen to my Dad. He was was betrayed by his friend and lost his job and in 53 he was supposed to start again from nothing. he could not accept it, had huge harm and conflict inside of him and that life experience I believe are the starters for tumors. You might have dispositions from your family but your life journey is the main trigger for this illness. I guess. 

Well, now when his conditions is stable at the moment, he talks to that friend again, bulit himself a new proffesional life and he happens to find peace inside, so taht is why I believe now the results were good. Naive, maybe.

injest

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2007, 08:50:11 am »
Dear Delalluvia, such a heartbreaking story of yours. I am sorry about your mother and you to have witnessed her fight since your age of 15!?! And I selfishly thought that I am too young for my parents to pass . . . that I am not able to accept their death.

What I agree with that you should chill and not thinking about you might have it or not. Well, I don't believe much in genetic origin of cancer. maybe it is naive of me but I read stories about a psychological background of cancer, of injustice. That had happen to my Dad. He was was betrayed by his friend and lost his job and in 53 he was supposed to start again from nothing. he could not accept it, had huge harm and conflict inside of him and that life experience I believe are the starters for tumors. You might have dispositions from your family but your life journey is the main trigger for this illness. I guess. 

Well, now when his conditions is stable at the moment, he talks to that friend again, bulit himself a new proffesional life and he happens to find peace inside, so taht is why I believe now the results were good. Naive, maybe.

well stress does cause  physical symptoms....

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2007, 07:48:33 pm »
Stress certainly doesn't help, I'm sure and neither does having a negative attitude, that's been proven.

However, my educational background is in the biological sciences, so I'm not onboard with stress causing cancer.  If it did, everyone who has ever been in a war or in prison or suffered in natural disasters or lived in horrible circumstances would be coming down with the disease...but they don't.

Offline Kerry

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2007, 11:50:47 pm »

I lost both my parents to cancer.

My Dad was a country boy who smoked from an early age. When he was in his late 50s, he went into hospital to have a small cyst removed from his eye. It required a general anaesthetic and he had to fast prior to the aperation. Smoking was not allowed. When he ate his first meal after the operation, he declared that he had never tasted anything so good in his life and vowed he would never smoke again. And he never did. Though he was free of cancer at that time, the wretched disease had already grabbed hold of him and 10 years later, at age 69, he died of lung cancer.

I was 27 at the time of his death and I experienced a great deal of rage and hatred of cigarette companies following my Dad's death. I blamed them and held them responsible for his death. It was 1977 and lots of people smoked back then. There was no real anti-smoking lobby to speak of. I seemed to be the only one who wanted smoking banned. My how times have changed.

It wasn't just that I'd lost my Dad. My mother also lost her husband. My Mum and Dad were a real Darby & Joan couple who lived for each other. They were inseparable. It took Mum a long time to recover from my Dad's death. In many ways, she never did fully recover. The month of May, when Dad died, was always a bad time of year for Mum.

In 1991, at age 80, cancer took my Mum from me. She had been diagnosed with inoperable bowel cancer. I was sitting by her bed, holding her hand, when she passed away.

I can put Dad's lung cancer down to his smoking and therefore hope there's no genetic connection. However, I fear there may be a genetic weakness with my Mum's bowel cancer, that could impact on me. Mum was always a very healthy eater who loved fruit and vegetables. One wouldn't expect her to be a candidate for bowel cancer. My doctor sends me off to the specialist for a colonoscopy ever three years, because of my family history.
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Offline Nikita111

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Re: Cancer in your life or the lives of your dearest?
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2007, 06:18:59 am »
Dear Kerry, I really thank you for sharing. It seems like this disease affects lives of everyone. And I no longer think that I am the only one.

I am so sorry to hear your story. I too have the badfeelings about having bad family anamnesis. My grandpa from Daddy's side died of prostate cancer and he smoked his whole life. Than there is my Dad having bladder cancer. Hopefully in remission. And he never smoked in his life. Doctors told him that this specific type of cancer, in bladder is caused by smoking.  ??? my grandma from Mother's side had bowel cancer and metastasis in liver.

OK, my views are quite nice.....