I'm still trying to come to terms with our loss....any comments appreciated..

[THE WINGS]

I know this seems almost silly and absurd: I've never met the man, yet, I feel this connection with not only his character in Brokeback, but his personallity in "real life".  I would appreciate any comments in support.  I'm still grieving the loss of a friend....THE WINGS

[Shasta542]

{{{{{{{{{{THE WINGS}}}}}}}}}}

Just keep coming and reading and posting. There is always someone here who is also sad about the loss of Heath. I hope someone else has other suggestions for you. But that is one thing you can do--come and be among others who mourn Heath's loss too.

The feeling of sadness and helplessness is just so strong, not only because we did love him (yes, even tho we did not know him personally) so much, but that he was young and had so much life left ahead of him. Because he had a beautiful little daughter and because it was such a tragic mistake.....we want so desperately for it to be not true. But it is and we all deal with it the best we can.

[Penthesilea]

Beautifully said Shasta.

{{{The Wings}}}

[Shasta542]

Beautifully said Shasta.

{{{The Wings}}}

Thank you, Penthesilea. We all still miss him. It's still hard to realize that he's gone.

  {{{{{BROKIES}}}}}  

[Katie77]

I got myself in bit of a depressed state about Heath the other day, and as insensitive and awful as this may sound, I kept thinking to myself...."of all the other young up and coming actors out there, WHY  was it Heath???"

[optom3]

I got myself in bit of a depressed state about Heath the other day, and as insensitive and awful as this may sound, I kept thinking to myself...."of all the other young up and coming actors out there, WHY  was it Heath???"

You are not alone there.The thought has crossed my mind as well.Only to then feel horribly guilty. It also struck me that we do not need to know someone personally to feel a deep connection with them.


We are privy to so much knowledge about "stars"in this world of mass media,that we feel we do know them.We see them and hear their words.So we start to empathise with them on some level.Be it the person themselves, or one of the characters they play.In the case of Heath it was doubly complicated,because many of us empathised both with the man and with His Ennis.

the love some of us,myself included, have for our pets is considered irrational by many.They don't talk to us,not literally anyway.But any pet lover will tell you that their pet communicates with them and both human and animal understand each other on some level



Many people believe in love at first sight and will quote examples of it.Others dismiss it as completely impossible/irrational.They would argue you cannot love someone about whom you know nothing.Yet in many cases that love at first sight results in a permant partnership.

What is irrational to one makes perfect sense to another.It all depends on our own personal experience ad perspective.
So viewed in those contexts it is not so odd, that we grieve for someone we did not really know.Particularly if you factor in the massive impact that BBM had on so many of us. It really did change lives.

Perhaps we grieve for the fact that we lose the chance to have our lives so deeply impacted again,by a truly talented actor.
Or for a daughter who will never really know her father any more than we did.Instead she will see him via his body of work and anecdotal evidence.How sad that for a daughter her knowledge of her father,will not be so very different from ours.With just maybe more detail from her mother and grand parents.

No matter how much science advances,I do not think we will ever be able to explain the vagaries of the human heart with respect to emotions.We just know what we feel and we struggle to explain and articulate.It does not make it any less real.

















.But there is no doubt the man and his work had a lasting and deep,life changing impact on many many people.
Is that not what any form of love does,impacts and changes the lives of those who experience it.

[BBM-Cat]

The Wings, I am so glad you started this thread - I was just thinking about this even more deeply over the past week and came to the realization that I still have not accepted Heath's death. To me it is as if it has not occurred  - something I cannot wrap my mind around. I don't mean that I'm in a denial about it, but it just still seems so unreal. There just doesn't seem to be any closure, especially as we continue to keep his spirit and memory alive here at the forum and in our hearts, which is a good thing. Shasta and Optom3, you're exactly right that we still feel a deep sense of connection in our grief even though we did not know Heath personally.

It was 'reassuring' in some sense to know that others are still grappling as well, though it doesn't make it any easier. I guess like Katie77 was pondering, I have similar thoughts about 'why'. I can truly understand that verse in the SS - the "open space" between what we know and what we believe...

[RouxB]

I can't give you any words of wisdom. I can only give you companionship in this impossible situation. I never would have believed I'd be this undone over a "celebrity". I never even imagined I'd be this undone over Heath. But then, I never imagined.  I cry less and less but I still cry. I move through my days in an almost normal fashion but something will hit me and I realize my "acceptance" is a sham. My hurt and sadness are living, breathing things hiding just under a very very thin and fragile surface. I am in San Francisco this weekend at a Brokie fan fiction writer gathering and I am so happy to be here with them, and they with me (thank Heavens) and with all the fun that is being had, the sadness of losing him hangs off of all of us like skin. So this morning, once again, that fragile surface has been broken and I sit here in my motel room alone and crying for someone I never met but who I know and love as though we'd been friends forever.

Last night at a bar I etched in a table

Heath Love 4ever