Author Topic: Around here even the pets are smart!  (Read 4631 times)

Offline BlissC

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Around here even the pets are smart!
« on: April 12, 2008, 07:41:40 am »
There I was last week, quietly minding my own business, having popped out of work for a quick smoke break, when nice as you like a Cocker Spaniel comes driving* by! WTF???!!! Fortunately I had the presence of mind to capture this event on my camera phone...



 :o


* Okay, so maybe the car might have been stationary rather than moving when the pic was taken... ;)


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."

injest

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2008, 11:05:49 am »
There I was last week, quietly minding my own business, having popped out of work for a quick smoke break, when nice as you like a Cocker Spaniel comes driving* by! WTF???!!! Fortunately I had the presence of mind to capture this event on my camera phone...



 :o


* Okay, so maybe the car might have been stationary rather than moving when the pic was taken... ;)

 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

you so funny!

Offline BlissC

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2008, 02:41:57 pm »
 ;D


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."

Offline Kelda

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2008, 06:19:24 am »
 :laugh:
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Offline BlissC

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2008, 08:43:35 am »
You think that's funny? You should see the response it's prompted on my forum. I include a transcript here for your amusement. I should point out that the apart from myself, the participants in the conversation thus far are Pink Lady and Rose (known as Rosey), who are the forum's resident clowns. Every forum needs a clown and between 'em Pinkie and Rosey (and Missy who's damn near dafter than the pair of 'em put together) certainly cheer up my residents when they're feeling a bit down...

Bliss: [initial post as here]

Rosey:
Quote
Nope I definately know the car is moving because I know the cocker spaniel in the photograph is actually a very good driver despite the fact he only has three paws - it was a terrible accident when his wife who was riding the motorbike accidently ran over his paw as he was changing a tyre.

Time for roseys meds I think

Bliss:
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LOL! That's so spooky! I was just reading something where there was a scene (only it wasn't a cocker spaniel) where someone had an accident while changing a tyre! Much weirdness on the web today!

Rosey:
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Well see weird web spiders - did you know spider webs can be used to dress wounds but actually you do need to make sure the spider isn't still there.

I took the tablets but they don't seem to be working!




Hellllllllllppppppppppppppppp

Bliss:
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Not in my house they can't. Any sign of the little blighters around here and out comes Dotty Duster and the horrid little things find themselves homeless and having to apply to the local council for temporary housing.

Pink Lady:
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Great piccie!  The spiders in our house get free swimming lessons, whirlpool effect thrown in too, better than any waterpark!

Cruel I know, but I can't stand them, rinsing down the plug hole is unfortunately the most effective method

Rosey:
Quote
I am sorry but I have to stand up for the rights of us spiders here, I mean to say there we are happily killing all your flies, creepy crawlies and pests and all we ask for is the right to build our home in a small corner of yours.

We are not noisy like you, we do not poo into bowls like you - which you then have the stupidity to clean and complain that you have to clean.

We are carbon neutral and don't use gas or electricity - though we can keep reasonably warm by building our home near one of your glass warmer thingies.

We have eight legs (well most of us unless your little people pull em off) which means we do not need mechanical vehicles to get around which is another reason we are carbon neutral.

We are quite high up the food chain as we eat what ate your food when you left it out on the worktop which is usually food which ate probably ate our relatives while out in the field which means you eat us after eating what ate your food - see its the eight leg thing it makes us waffle a lot - and we can do a pretty mean riverdance imitation all by ourselves.

And what happens - you come along and send us to one of your water theme parks - without a bye your leave I might say and we end up in some long dark thing which is warm because you used that bowl thing and is wet and is dark and has plenty of flies and creepy crawlies and what happens...................................

We grow bigger and come back and lie in that big thing that you get into to get wet all over and the dance starts all over again.............................

So just a suggestion here but maybe if you put us spiders into the category of unpaid help around the home and put us out of the window once in a while we would stay small........... and hey if you have to evict us make it friendly and carbon neutral.

I speak on behalf of spiders everywhere when I say we are not bigoted racist sexist or nudist (well actually yes we are nudist) but definately not homist.  We will still be friends with you and your home regardless of the number of times you try to evict us.

Spiders
Put
In
Da
Effort
Required
So you don't have to

I humbly thank you for reading this party political broadcast on behalf of the SPIDERS UNITED party


this broadcast was typed by rosey because our eight legs make a mess when all try to type at once.

Bliss:
Quote
Quote
I speak on behalf of spiders everywhere when I say we are not bigoted racist sexist or nudist (well actually yes we are nudist) but definately not homist. 

I'm glad to hear it Rosey. I guess that's kind of evidenced by the fact that our eight-legged friends take up residence with households of all creeds and nationalities, clothed people and unclothed people, singletons and couples, and indeed gay couples - the new 'alternate' family: gay couple, their dog, and household of friendly accepting spiders.

:)

My problem with spiders though is that quite apart from taking up residence without asking and certainly not signing a tenancy agreement or paying rent, they have a tendency to clash with my décor (I prefer my ceilings minimalist white without the adornment of a web type pattern (and ever noticed how spiders never seem to dust their own homes?), and the more adventurous ones certainly don't look before they leap when practising their parachuting to check no humans are in the way. I mean, it's not as though we're small and difficult to spot! I have a boarding house for spiders - it's called a garage (they don't clash with the décor so much there), and despite rumours to the contrary, I'm quite particular about who I share my bed with, and I'm afraid eight legs just don't do it for me. ;)

I eagerly await Rosey's response to that one!  :laugh:


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."

injest

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2008, 09:36:33 am »
Quote

Great piccie!  The spiders in our house get free swimming lessons, whirlpool effect thrown in too, better than any waterpark!

Cruel I know, but I can't stand them, rinsing down the plug hole is unfortunately the most effective method

she IS aware that putting spiders in water makes them come back WAY bigger, right?? I saw a Twilight Zone show about that so I KNOW it is true!! I was like nine at the time and I have NEVER washed a spider down the drain again...

*shudder*


injest

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2008, 09:37:43 am »
Quote

And what happens - you come along and send us to one of your water theme parks - without a bye your leave I might say and we end up in some long dark thing which is warm because you used that bowl thing and is wet and is dark and has plenty of flies and creepy crawlies and what happens...................................

We grow bigger and come back and lie in that big thing that you get into to get wet all over and the dance starts all over again.............................


SEEE!!!!

injest

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2008, 09:40:09 am »
Quote

My problem with spiders though is that quite apart from taking up residence without asking and certainly not signing a tenancy agreement or paying rent, they have a tendency to clash with my décor (I prefer my ceilings minimalist white without the adornment of a web type pattern (and ever noticed how spiders never seem to dust their own homes?), and the more adventurous ones certainly don't look before they leap when practising their parachuting to check no humans are in the way. I mean, it's not as though we're small and difficult to spot! I have a boarding house for spiders - it's called a garage (they don't clash with the décor so much there), and despite rumours to the contrary, I'm quite particular about who I share my bed with, and I'm afraid eight legs just don't do it for me


exactly! it isn't as if THEY work with us!

and sometimes they BITE...now when was the last time a human bit a spider and put it in the hospital for a week?

ew ew!!

or crawled into some spiders mouth while they were asleep!!??

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Offline BlissC

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2008, 10:02:17 am »
or crawled into some spiders mouth while they were asleep!!??

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Ewwwww! indeed! I remember reading once that the average person swallows nine spiders while sleeping during the course of their life! *shudder*

Makes you wonder who actually sat around and counted them though... ???


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."

Offline BlissC

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Re: Around here even the pets are smart!
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2008, 06:37:39 pm »
And the latest from Rosey....

Quote
Hey you want us to pay rent and get rid of your nasties and live in an unheated garage - girl you are really taking the p*** here us spiders here are quite incensed that you deem we don't look before we leap - I mean how would you like it if you were practicing your parachuting and then something the size of mount everest looms up underneath you without a bye your leave I mean to say come on.

And.............
and......
and..
and well you let us onto this site all our cousins are up and down faster than a brides nightie on this site.

And.............
and......
and..
and well we have to take your point about the web lacing on your minimilist ceiling but I mean how boring is white without just a tad of web to break up the arctic looking landscape I mean even the north pole has a pole

And.............
and......
and..
and rosey has had one of our uncles on her car for quite a while now and has the decency to take him with her to work - granted its a bit difficult when her cigarette ash hits his web and out he pops from the back of her wing mirror to take a look when she is on the motorway and he has to hang on for grim death because of the slip stream trying to rip him off but come on at least he gets out every day which is more than most of us do when we live in your house.  Unpaid bug catchers without even a day off is what we are.......... sheeeeeessssssssshhhhhh

Ok I admit most of you humans don't like us but its just as difficult for us spiders yes I hate to admit it but we have humanists in our clan those spiders who for whatever reason have no tolerance to you humans and just live to bite, jump and generally scare the living daylights out of you.  But I still think that carbon neutral human loving spiders have their place in this multi cultural multi gendered multi coloured swap shop of life.

And remember spy-der-itis is contagious DON'T TOUCH DA SPIDER OK

And then Jo joins in the fun...

Quote
My friend and I were sat out in a pub garden the other week, when we came back inside, there was a huge spider crawling up her back.  She's really arachnophobia so was screaming in a busy pub while this big spider crawled around her side and up towards her face!  I was kind, I simply swept the spider off her onto the floor.  Unfortunately, the dog that ate the spider wasn't so kind . . .

Personally, I normally get the spider in a glass and deposit it safely in the garden.  However, I get loads of those spiders with the teeny bodies and massive, long, spindly legs that set up home well out of my reach.  Unfortunately, they get to take a ride in the Dyson . . .

And the very latest from the SPIDERS UNITED party's spokesperson...

Quote
yeah like we really love da dyson and personally I should say cats is better dan dogs when eating my family

And remember spy-der-itis is contagious DON'T TOUCH DA SPIDER OK

 :laugh:


"No matter how hard you try, You're still in prison, If ya born with wings and you never fly."