Hello ... I'm new here and yet do not feel like I am butting in since everyone here is so welcoming. Soon will be the 5th anniversary of the moment when a close friend. soul mate really, breathed her last as I held her hand and the pain of the cancer was no more. Nancy, I offer you my encouragement ... as someone wise told me, you don't get over these things, you get through them. You know that you are changed, and you can become grateful for the incredible intimacy of the experience once the pain begins to dull around the edges. I am still learning the lessons which grew out of my beloved friend's four-year battle with the loss of all that this earth has to offer... the pain and ultimately the grace that came from watching her young son watch her die inch by inch, watching her hopes for a cure evaporate into hopes for a quiet moment in a wheelchair in the hospital courtyard, manning the morphine pump when she could no longer do it for herself, lifting her out of the hospital bed one final time, and watching that young son's face become a mask of horror as I placed her ashes into the ground. Just last night, I smiled through the tears when recounting the story of spreading some of her ashes in our beloved Alaska and having aother friend take some of them to the Amazon River. Like you did, I planted a tree for my beloved friend. You know that you will find other ways to honor the love that you shared. Bless you in your journey. You are not alone.
