Author Topic: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)  (Read 19238 times)

Offline YaadPyar

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How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« on: March 30, 2006, 04:33:28 pm »
Okay, now what are the rules for speaking Brokeback? We all know that in order to be a true Brokie, you have to get all of the "ism"s down and use them frequently.

-- If you are impatient with someone, it is customary to say: "Whatta ya waitin' for, cowboy? A matin' call?"

-- Double negatives are imperative.

-- Sheep are called "woolies."

-- "Ketchup" is a catch-all word for every type of condiment.

- To get skinny-assed cowboys out of your trailer, start a phone call and glare at them until they bolt.

- Stop your wife from asking for cigarettes, and thus frustrating your secret tryst by always having smokes in the pocket of your blue shirt.

- Alleviate your ex-wife's suspicions by telling her she 'don't know nothin'

"Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully." (Harold & Maude - 1971)

Offline sparkle_motion

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2006, 05:48:50 pm »
If you're about to tell someone what, start your sentence with "I tell you what" just to let them know you're about to tell them what.
...then you ask me about Mexico and tell me you'll kill me for needing somethin' I don't hardly never get.

Offline YaadPyar

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2006, 06:03:50 pm »
If you're about to tell someone what, start your sentence with "I tell you what" just to let them know you're about to tell them what.

OMG!! LOL for real!

If'n your ex-wife don't believe you, then grab hold of her wrist hard and curse at her and threaten her husband too!
"Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully." (Harold & Maude - 1971)

Offline kirkmusic

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2006, 04:05:33 am »
When extremely pleased or extremely displeased with a close friend, it is appropriate to insert the word "f***ing" inbetween their first and last names.

Offline Sheyne

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2006, 04:28:36 am »

Instead of expressing attraction to your fellow cowboy, convey your growing lust by taking the mickey out of his profession and ability to play the harmonica.  Compliment his appalling singing of an obscure hymn, however. There's no need to kick a bloke when he's already down.
Chut up!

Offline Sheyne

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2006, 04:40:20 am »

If you're a poor bull-rider who is desperately in love with his cowboy buddy, its not only sensible in terms of one's safety and reputation to accept the pushy advances of the attractive daughter of a wealthy machinery manufacturer, it makes good financial sense as well. 
Chut up!

Offline Nicole

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2006, 05:18:51 am »
The first-born child of two Texans will inevitably possess an accent best described as "Jersey" or "Bronx".  Do not be alarmed.  This is normal and unlikely to continue with subsequent children.  When the accented child speaks it is best not to even acknowledge this anomaly - simply nod politely and carry on with the conversation.
   Cowboys do it better

Offline kirkmusic

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2006, 05:33:01 am »
OT - Nicole, where can I see a larger version of your avatar?  :P

Offline Nicole

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2006, 05:38:28 am »
LOL - if only!  I found this pic as an avatar, so it's as big as it gets.  Somewhere there must be screencaps of Jarhead - if I find it I'll be sure to send it your way!

Okay Kirk - hopefully this works (if anyone is offended by this and wants me to remove it, let me know!):

« Last Edit: April 13, 2006, 05:48:00 am by Nicole »
   Cowboys do it better

Offline kirkmusic

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Re: How to Speak Brokeback for Dummies (starting over...)
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2006, 06:13:41 am »
Well allrighty, then!  :D :o ::) :P