Okay, now what are the rules for speaking Brokeback? We all know that in order to be a true Brokie, you have to get all of the "ism"s down and use them frequently.
-- If you are impatient with someone, it is customary to say: "Whatta ya waitin' for, cowboy? A matin' call?"
-- Double negatives are imperative.
-- Sheep are called "woolies."
-- "Ketchup" is a catch-all word for every type of condiment.
- To get skinny-assed cowboys out of your trailer, start a phone call and glare at them until they bolt.
- Stop your wife from asking for cigarettes, and thus frustrating your secret tryst by always having smokes in the pocket of your blue shirt.
- Alleviate your ex-wife's suspicions by telling her she 'don't know nothin'