Author Topic: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!  (Read 5395 times)

Offline optom3

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BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« on: August 22, 2008, 09:45:41 am »
I am not sure if this is the correct place for this topic, but it is BBM related.
I was really shocked when I arrived on the west coast of Florida to see the the depth of gay hatred that exists here. I use the word hatred, after much consideration as it goes beyond mere dislike or non tolerance.
I was even more horrified when my oldest son started spouting some of it.
We have a zero tolerance to all irrational hatred and bigotry in our house. Long story short, as many of you know, I have had a rough time with my oldest son, until we finally got his meds. right.
He has a lovely girlfriend for the time being and all is good.This girls best friend is a gay boy, and so one afternoon, I suggested to my son he watched BBM.
What a change, he was crying, just like me.He was mortified about some of the things he had previously said about gays.He asked me if people were still like that, I told him just to think back at some of the comments he had passed.I told him in the more recent past, a boy had been killed for that very reason and that for some people gay bashing verges on a blood sport.
He is now this gay boys biggest champion.They were all around at his girlfriends house the other evening and some guys came by, chanting their normal filth.
My son went after them and just chased them.He told them he had a gold in wrestling and perhaps they might like to take him on.No one seemed that keen to rush to the challenge.!!! He also said, as they were such a bunch of ignorant, ugly sods why would any girl be interested in them let alone a good looking guy.
The boy who my son had rushed to defend said, and he is 15, that was the first time a straight guy had ever jumped to his defence.He then said to my son that he had only hung round with girls up until then as guys were so obnoxious to him.So all three hang round quite a bit now.
So BBM can even change that most difficult of all age groups, the prejudice teenage boy.
The film did what months of my "talks" failed to do.
So I decided to post this to give some hope and encouragement to others out there. My son was truly disgusting in some of the things he used to say.I was ashamed of him and it was one thing I could not blame on his illness.So he is back at school and trying to educate boys who used to be like him.
With so many horrible things going on I thought this would make a refreshing change. I really believe that BBM should be shown to all teenagers, albeit maybe a Bravo type censored version.
I don't suppose it ever will be, but at least we can continue to chip away at some of the hatred that exists.Wht a revelation ,that BBM continues to influence still.

Offline Katie77

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2008, 10:13:00 am »
Getting these kids educated early is the key to abolishing bigotry and homophilia.

If one more child is affected like this every day, and he educates one of his friends and so on and so on, the world will definately be a better place.



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It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline optom3

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2008, 11:18:12 am »
Getting these kids educated early is the key to abolishing bigotry and homophilia.

If one more child is affected like this every day, and he educates one of his friends and so on and so on, the world will definately be a better place.





I agree 100% and particularly when the child in question, my son is percieved as so macho and yet still refuses anymore to be drawn into the gay bashing cult.
Instead, he  tries to pass on the word. He even said to me that at one stage he thought he might be gay.I told him it made not one iota difference to my feelings or his families towards him.I also said a lot of men and women go through a period of questioning their sexuality.Some will even go as far as experimenting.
Back in England, 25 plus years ago when I was at university it was the big thing at the time to be bisexual.
So I think BBM has done more than change my sons' attitude, it has opened up a whole chanel of communication between me and my son.

Offline Katie77

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2008, 06:39:37 pm »
Your children are lucky to have you for their mum....they will certainly grow to be wonderful adults.

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It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline Gabreya

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2008, 11:54:21 pm »
I'm so happy that your son has changed for the better. This film had really opened his eyes to see how homophobia really is and how we can reduce it if we try to understand that God had created everyone equal. I even though you tried hard to help him before this, I'm glad you stayed strong throughout. Thanks to this movie, your boy has really taken to consideration on how each and everyone of us are different and deserved to be loved. And it's like others, you, and me have been saying:THIS MOVIE CHANGED PEOPLE'S LIVES.

Kudos to you and your son!!!

Offline optom3

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2008, 12:24:21 am »
Katie and Gabreya, thankyou so much.
The reason I thought it important to post was because to eradicate homophobia, we have to educate at a young age.Something that becomes ingrained in the teens, will be far more difficult to change.
One teen boy, can do so much good.It is the ripple effect,even if he only convinces one person, and they continue,so will the ripple grow.We have to almost give up on the pensioner age,It is too deeply ingrained, but if we can start with this teenager generation,then mighty strides can be taken.Believe me, if my son can change, then so can 95% of teens.
What I found very sad was that this gay teens only friends were female.My son is his first male friend.Does my son feel uneasy, no far from it.He is almost like a man on a mission now.I can see this ending up as his next obsession.Not that I am complaining.
Looking back on my earlier posts, up to the time we had him arrested,what a change.It is nothing short of miraculous.I sometimes feel that it is really only the wounded who can have empathy for others.
It strikes me a lot here, most people have had some trauma, that has meant BBM has deeply affected them, yet those wounded people can actually help heal, other wounded.Ironic really,those who sail through life seem to have far less capacity for tolerance and understanding.
My son is wounded, through no choice of his own, and he has now come to realise that  it is the same for gay men and women.
Understanding at a deeper level is what brings about change,and teens will pay far more attention to their peers than anyone else.

I hope BBM is seen by ever increasing numbers, who fall in love with it on every level, who are devastated by it, and who are consequently moved to change things.Either in their own lives, or others.
It is I think, a story that will never grow old.Homophobia should be regarded by schools in the same way as bullying or racial prejudice.There has to be a zero tolerance poicy, put in place and more importantly adhered to. Children really are our future and they can either lead this great mass of humanity down the path to tolerance and understanding, or down the  road to hatred and destruction.

Offline Gabreya

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2008, 10:11:03 pm »
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE. SEE, WE'RE ALL DIFFERENT. I ALWAYS BELIEVED THAT I WAS AN OUTCAST DUE TO I LISTEN TO EXCESS ROCK MUSIC AS AN AFRICAN AMERICAN 17 YEAR OLD GIRL WHO HAS A SMALL CASE OF ASPERGUS SYNDROM. BUT, I HAVE VERY SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS HERE AND AT SCHOOL. IF EVERYONE WASN'T DIFFERENT, THE ENTIRE PLANET WOULD BE BORING AND TASTELESS. DIFFERENCES IS GOOD.
IT'S WHAT MAKES THIS PLANET COLORFUL. AND I BELIEVE YOUR SON WILL BE ONE OF THE ONES THAT HELP MAKE PEOPLE FELL WELCOME NO MATTER WHAT THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATION, RACE, GENDER, OR AGE THEY ARE.

Offline David In Indy

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2008, 10:51:18 pm »
Katie and Gabreya, thankyou so much.
The reason I thought it important to post was because to eradicate homophobia, we have to educate at a young age.Something that becomes ingrained in the teens, will be far more difficult to change.
One teen boy, can do so much good.It is the ripple effect,even if he only convinces one person, and they continue,so will the ripple grow.We have to almost give up on the pensioner age,It is too deeply ingrained, but if we can start with this teenager generation,then mighty strides can be taken.Believe me, if my son can change, then so can 95% of teens.
What I found very sad was that this gay teens only friends were female.My son is his first male friend.Does my son feel uneasy, no far from it.He is almost like a man on a mission now.I can see this ending up as his next obsession.Not that I am complaining.
Looking back on my earlier posts, up to the time we had him arrested,what a change.It is nothing short of miraculous.I sometimes feel that it is really only the wounded who can have empathy for others.
It strikes me a lot here, most people have had some trauma, that has meant BBM has deeply affected them, yet those wounded people can actually help heal, other wounded.Ironic really,those who sail through life seem to have far less capacity for tolerance and understanding.
My son is wounded, through no choice of his own, and he has now come to realise that  it is the same for gay men and women.
Understanding at a deeper level is what brings about change,and teens will pay far more attention to their peers than anyone else.

I hope BBM is seen by ever increasing numbers, who fall in love with it on every level, who are devastated by it, and who are consequently moved to change things.Either in their own lives, or others.
It is I think, a story that will never grow old.Homophobia should be regarded by schools in the same way as bullying or racial prejudice.There has to be a zero tolerance poicy, put in place and more importantly adhered to. Children really are our future and they can either lead this great mass of humanity down the path to tolerance and understanding, or down the  road to hatred and destruction.

Fiona, I'm very proud of both you and your son. :)

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Offline optom3

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2008, 03:54:53 pm »
One big thankyou to everyone.
When I think back to what we have been through it is almost a miracle,where we are now.At the moment we are sitting laughing and joking about the world in general.
We were talking about sexuality earlier, and my son said, the only time he has felt his temper return was when some guys on bikes were riding around shouting obscenities at the gay guy.Fortunatley he didn't. But the fact that he used to be so anti and is now so protective is truly amazing.I hope he can teach some of the other numbskulls at school.

Offline Gabreya

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Re: BBM changed my sons' prejudice !!!!
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2008, 04:25:19 pm »
Well, you're more than welcome. :) I hope there's more peace continuing to spead with your son and others. I know that you seem like the peaceful people here on this website. That's why I love this site because they're people like you that help make it a warm welcoming place to people that comes to visit and people who love the movie. :D