Why are we like this?

[myprivatejack]

I think it is because Brokeback Mountain is one of those movie that has a mirror effect (I don't know if that's correct). What I mean is that we all find ourselves represented in Ennis or Jack, or both and in their tribulations, fears, doubts, pain, happiness and unhappiness. It doesn't matter if we don't share their sexual orientation. At least in my case, I haven't seen a movie that depicts a love story so close to real life, as this one. Love is not about falling for a perfect person and living happily ever after, as it is shown in many Hollywood movies. Love is imperfect and hard to deal with. It's a struggle, as Jake Gyllenhaal puts it, and that's what Brokeback Mountain is about, among other things of course.

I agree with you,Opinionista;although lots of times I have posed the same question to me ,why this so long lasting love if it's only a movie?...   Maybe the key is,as you say,that is easy to see oneself represented in some of the characters,no matters our sexual orientation,or if we have lived or not a similar unlucky love story...(In my case,I saw myself and my story from the very moment I watched the movie at theater,but I know perfectly that not everybody could say this so easily.).What makes Ennis and Jack so close to us is that they're not the perfect lovers of a romantic movie,so clean and nice and stuff...;they're imperfects,since they're real and ordinary persons who make mistakes and,in their struggle for finding a way to be happy they hurt somebody else falling into practices,like adultery and some promiscuity,that are socially rejected.
And  also,that -the same than Ennis and Jack fell for each other,in a great part,because they arrived to the other's side in the right moment,when they needed more someone like the other...-perhaps BBM arrived to our lives when we needed more a movie that treated homosexuality and gay people in general like "normal" people,reflecting their love as the love of the person next door,nothing more...JMO.

[Artiste]

Thanks myprivatejack!

... perhaps BBM arrived to our lives when we needed more a movie that treated homosexuality and gay people in general like "normal" people,reflecting their love as the love of the person next door,nothing more...JMO.   

.....
Great to hear that!

[myprivatejack]

Thanks myprivatejack¡
.....
Great to hear that!

Thanks to you too,Artiste¡ Isn't it true at the end? People who love and suffer for love,that aren't killers or,what is worse: mental ills ¡ People who can make mistakes and make other persons unhappy,just like everybody...It's very important to arrive somewhere in the right moment,in the right place...(where have I heard this?).Hugs¡

[Artiste]

Thanks myprivatejack!

What you say is interesting!

I have found that we all take turns to be sick, want to love and/or be in love.

And at other times, it is so great to be  with a lover, partner, buddy, friend(s)...

among gay guys!!

I am a gay man and yearn for that again.

Have you had similar experiences? Did anyone?

Au revoir,
hugs!   May Brokeback Mouintain II, be created!!

[BlissC]

Well I've been reading through the posts in this thread, trying to figure out just why after two years, the impact of the movie on me hasn't lessened (if anything it's got me worse now) and just why I'm so obsessed with the story and the characters, except they're not just characters, because I see Jack and Ennis as real people, and the whole BBM thing. I'm still no nearer to coming up with an answer to the million dollar question - why we've been consumed by every aspect of it, while others maybe merely enjoyed the film, or thought it was good from an artistic point of view.

The movie's a universal story, that's been told many times in literature in many ways over hundreds of years, there are things we can all relate to in the movie/story through the different characters, so in a way I guess it is like a mirror...there are so many reasons we can use to rationalise our obsession, but to be honest, I don't think it's something we will ever pin down - there's just an indescribable something about it that raises it from a great piece of cinematography, a great piece of literature, and that's it's magic (though I did have a chuckle over the idea that Ang had put a single frame subliminal message in some copies of the movie  ). Maybe we aren't meant to know - maybe that would break the magic.

I find myself insanely jealous of the love and passion between Jack and Ennis and I wish I had even a little bit of that passion for myself.  Don't get me wrong - I love my husband immensely ... but the passion of that reunion kiss is unmatched in my relationship!

Maybe there's a bit of that in it for me. A couple of weeks ago I remember getting incredibly mad at Ennis (crazy huh? getting mad at someone who though I think of him as real, isn't a real person) and thinking that if I had a "Jack" I would move heaven and high water to be with them.

Sometimes I also get mad because I'm so obsessed and because I'll happily spend hours reading all things BBM or debating and "wasting" hours when I should be doing RL stuff. Last night I found myself looking at the movie poster I've got on the wall in my spare room "office" and telling Jack and Ennis "It's because of you I'm like this!", and then laughing at myself because it suddenly twigged that yet again I was quoting the story/movie.

Quote from: Penthesilea on June 16, 2006, 07:00:38 pm
Heya, this is a really interesting thing to note.  I'm the exact same way.  No one in my "real life" has any idea that I'm this obsessed with BBM....A few friends know that I love the movie and some even know how many times I've seen it in the theatre, but they don't really know about the whole world of Brokie-dom.  I find it sort of fun to keep it a little secret.

That's kind of how I feel about it. Only my friend Jane who I originally went to see BBM with has any inkling of my brokie-obession, and I feel as though even she thinks I'm slightly crazy sometimes, though I haven't even told her about Bettermost. I kind of like having it as my little secret. I popped in here earlier today though just to lurk in my lunch-break at work, and when I left the office to go down to the library where we have a networked PC we can use in our lunch-break for non-work related browsing, one of the girls I work with asked where I was going. I just said, "Bettermost, Wyoming", and off I went leaving them looking at each other very puzzled, but the girls I share an office with think I'm slightly crazy anyway for practically living online, so they're used to me coming out with strange things and didn't ask for any further clarification of my strange statement. lol!

Just after I got the BBM DVD I remember posting a review on Amazon, and it ended with the line "It gets in your head, and stays there". At that time though I never dreamt that two years later I'd still be just as obsessed, in fact probably more so, and that I'd find myself in a community debating characters' motivations, themes and sub-plots, symbolism and imagery, and every little nuance of the story and movie! (not that I regret finding this place - as I said when I first arrived - it feels like I found home  )

Brokeback sure got me good!

[Artiste]

Thanks BlissC!

  "It gets in your head, and stays there". At that time though I never dreamt that two years later I'd still be just as obsessed, in fact probably more so, and that I'd find myself in a community debating characters' motivations, themes and sub-plots, symbolism and imagery, and every little nuance of the story and movie! (not that I regret finding this place - as I said when I first arrived - it feels like I found home   )
 

....

Wow, likewise for I am too like that. And more! There have been many days and nights that I could not help but think abiut Annie's story and/or the BM movie!! Even these days... too, wonderous ones because of that sotry and film!!

I see it more and more enriching in my own life and in others too! Do you?

Au revoir,
hugs!

[Artiste]

Why are we like this?

Sad, as gay men?

Is it because of religions?

Au revoir,
hugs!

[BlissC]

I see it more and more enriching in my own life and in others too! Do you?

I guess it does. It's certainly changed how I view my own life. A combination of BBM and my medical problems have made me realise life's too short for just dreaming of that sweet life, and you just have to get out there and grab it.

Though I'm a Jack-girl in a lot of ways (hopeless romantic, dreamer, talk too much  ) I do have difficulty expressing my true emotions at times, and in the past I've struggled admitting some things, even to myself. Twenty years down the line I don't want to find myself like Ennis, having missed my chance, so I'm trying hard to get over my own hang-ups.

Back when I was in my teens, when I first started having serious health problems, I remember getting upset and saying to my mum "why me?" She said one day maybe I'd be able to help someone else having similar problems, and even if it was just one person, if I could help make their life better or easier, then somehow it'd be worth it (which thankfully I've been able to do through my forum, so I guess my old ma was right! lol!).

I guess that's how I see BBM - if it helps just one person change their views, or re-evaluate their life and make changes for the better, or helps break down someone's prejudices, etc. then it's more than done it's job, and as we know there are so many people just around Bettermost whose lives it's changed for the better in some small way. I can't think of a single other movie/story that's had such a huge impact on so many people.

[Monika]

Sometimes I also get mad because I'm so obsessed and because I'll happily spend hours reading all things BBM or debating and "wasting" hours when I should be doing RL stuff. Last night I found myself looking at the movie poster I've got on the wall in my spare room "office" and telling Jack and Ennis "It's because of you I'm like this!", and then laughing at myself because it suddenly twigged that yet again I was quoting the story/movie.

thanks for sharing

Me to sometimes feel like I should think more about RL things, but then...I´m happy. I´m happy with my obsessions. I have gotten to know so many people through them, I´ve travelled places I never thought I´d go and my god, I laugh and smile and cry so much. I guess, somehow, obessions are my RL.


Then to the million dollar question: why are we like this.

I think that questions probably has been answered by others on this thread. I like the explanations about BBM being sort of a mirror.

For myself, I think, what lies in the heart of my obsession for BBM, is its message about missed opportunities. I don´t want to miss out like Ennis and Jack did. I want to spend my life doing whatever it is I wanna do and not live my life as others expect me to.

[Artiste]

Thanks buffymon!

I like your word: mirroir !!

We do see ourselves in Annie's story/BM movie!!

Maybe it like a fairy tale??

Hugs!