Why are we like this?

[Front-Ranger]

It's nice to see you here, friend!

Your portrait of your bf is lovely! I'm so glad you still have it to cherish. Also I loved your comment, "I wish they'd get on the same elevator with the person they love,  and stay there, and not quit."

At the very primitive level, we are all animals at heart with a need for survival, which begets fear. And fear creates a world of many things. But the need for survival also begets the need to come together and hold and comfort each other, to love and encourage, and to ensure the survival of our species. And that creates a world of many things too. I imagine these two worlds flowing and shifting together, just like the two hemispheres of your late husband's ring.

[Brokebacklove4ever]

You know......

I really don't have any insight into this. All I can say is, I still think about Jack and Ennis all the freakin' time. I can now entertain other thoughts but even then, subconsciously I'm thinking of our boys. And you know what, I totally relate about them feeling not like movie characters but close, real-life friends.

Whenever I remember at night, I'll even say "Goodnight, Jack. Goodnight, Ennis."   

you know u are about to make me cry bbm_stitchbuffyfan,.. shame on you,.. I caught myself doing this too a few nights ago. Saying goodnight to our boys as I went to sleep.

[Brokebacklove4ever]

 After thinking about this very topic for a few days, just living my life, but thinking. BBM was a movie about love, pure and simple. Love in its MOST brutal and unfiltered form. No movie has ever shown love in this light, without the glamor,or props, just two human being struggling to love each other in Gods beautiful surroundings. Its a very simple movie full of uncomplicated beauty that resonates with the primal need in all of us to love, and be loved. Thats just the basics of the backdrop, then there is Jack And Ennis. Two lovable men that found a common bond that we can all relate to at one point and time in our lives. I think because both men are so lovable, and their love story so tragic, we continue to WANT FOR THEM TO BE TOGETHER and live happily ever after. While watching this movie, we literally watch the boys fall in love,and its a wonderful thing to witness. I could go on and on, but I just put the DVD in, and its time to watch the boys,.....fall in love all over again. I have to admit,sometimes I put the DVD in,and hear that first cord of that guitar, and tears come to my eyes. I don't know why,.....its very weird, but this movie simply gut-punches me. i guess that is something that I will never be able to explain.

Be good to yourself

[Shakesthecoffecan]

Six years now, and not a day goes by that thoughts of Brokeback Mountain do not cross my mind.

Last night it occurred to me that Proulx's short story is probably, in my 40+ years of reading, the most complete treatment of the inarticulate I have ever read.

[Meryl]

Six years now, and not a day goes by that thoughts of Brokeback Mountain do not cross my mind.

Last night it occurred to me that Proulx's short story is probably, in my 40+ years of reading, the most complete treatment of the inarticulate I have ever read.

So true, Tru.  It's like music on the page.

[Lynne]

Six years now, and not a day goes by that thoughts of Brokeback Mountain do not cross my mind.

Last night it occurred to me that Proulx's short story is probably, in my 40+ years of reading, the most complete treatment of the inarticulate I have ever read.

That is an excellent way to put it, Truman.  And you're right, not a day goes by...

[coffeedrinkintexan]

Zombie thread alert!  

I have spent the better part of four months trying to figure out exactly why Brokeback got me so good. (Viewed in October 2014 for the first time.) I've seen it I don't know how many times, read the story just as much, devoured forum threads, lost sleep....and I don't know that I'm any closer to figuring out why it has permeated what seems like every cell of my being.

Like so many people here, Jack and Ennis are real people to me. I think about them like they are my friends. I dream about them. I write about them. I think about this story every hour of every day. No movie has ever done this to me. I'm not even an avid moviegoer.

I've read every response here, and I'm not sure I'm any closer to an answer about why *I'm* like this over Brokeback. Not trying to invalidate everyone else's experience or answers, just that I haven't been able to figure it out for myself.

It has changed me significantly in two ways:
1) I have a good husband and I know it. He's not perfect (he doesn't like BBM, for one) and we have our squabbles but he works hard, tries to understand me, and is a good father to our kids. I'd been taking him for granted for a long time when I first saw BBM. This movie made me realize that I can't do that. He and I don't have the OMG-see-stars kind of love that Jack and Ennis had, but I don't know that many people are lucky enough to get that big love...ever. And what I have is pretty damn good. I can't take that for granted so I became more intentional about loving him.

2) I became more vocal in my support of gay rights and marriage equality. Been an ally for a while but was a bit timid about expressing it openly.....I live in a red state and most of my friends at church/work still think being gay is wrong, unnatural, etc. Watching Jack and Ennis struggle with their relationship and their very selves, wanting so much to love openly and feeling it forbidden, it made me so angry. Each of them died a little at a time, by inches, suffocating under the weight they carried. Watching that was infuriating. So I kind of 'came out' as an unashamed ally, the opinions of others be damned. (*Please understand: I don't mean to compare this in ANY way with what it must be like to come out as gay, trans, or bisexual. That is in a completely different league and takes far more courage. You guys are my heroes.*) If I can be a safe place for some struggling kid to land, then I want to be that. Whether it's one of my kids, one of their friends, one of my friends, or one of my patients, it doesn't matter. But I don't want any two people to have to suffer like these sweet boys did. I just want to hug them both, take them  home with me, and let them live their sweet life together, protected from a hateful world. It kills me every day to think it will never happen for them. Sweet beautiful Jack and sweet beautiful Ennis. I love them so much it hurts.

[CellarDweller]

I've often thought that the ones who 'got it' so something of themselves on the screen, and it resonated with them.  Whether it was Jack and Ennis' struggle, their emotions, feeling alone or like an outsider.....something in the film touched them.

[Front-Ranger]

I came to relate, particularly to Jack, but at the beginning I just saw it as a supreme love story. And with star-crossed lovers. Love is more achingly romantic when it is thwarted, don't you think?

I went to Wikipedia to define "star-crossed" and, yup, there were our boys!

With film or within modern novels and books, such star-crossed couples as Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater from Titanic, Landon Carter and Jamie Sullivan from "A Walk to Remember", Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala from the Star Wars saga, Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist from Brokeback Mountain, and Jake and Neytiri from Avatar have been included.[19][20][21][22][23] In The Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark are often called "The Star Crossed Lovers from District 12" because of their romance while in the Hunger Games, where only one can survive.

[Penthesilea]

I went to Wikipedia to define "star-crossed" and, yup, there were our boys!

With film or within modern novels and books, such star-crossed couples as Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater from Titanic, Landon Carter and Jamie Sullivan from "A Walk to Remember", Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala from the Star Wars saga, Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist from Brokeback Mountain, and Jake and Neytiri from Avatar have been included.[19][20][21][22][23] In The Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark are often called "The Star Crossed Lovers from District 12" because of their romance while in the Hunger Games, where only one can survive.

Love to see this!