Author Topic: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?  (Read 4079 times)

Offline Front-Ranger

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Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« on: November 07, 2008, 11:30:25 am »
I grew up in a family something like Ennis and Alma's where neither parent had a college education. My parents didn't divorce but only because it just wasn't done back in those days. I'm sure my mother would have divorced my father if she'd felt at all empowered.

Tell us how your early family life influenced how you saw the movie. In my case, I identified with both Jack and Ennis. Ennis reminded my of myself when young, and Jack and Lureen's family reminds me of my own.

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Offline Artiste

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #1 on: November 07, 2008, 11:34:39 am »
Wonderful subject as is this thread Front-Ranger !

I click on other but it does NOT allow me to add, and I am asking if that can be corrected, maybe ?

Or does one detail as in a post like I am doing now ?

Au revoir,
hugs!

Offline Brown Eyes

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #2 on: November 07, 2008, 11:47:47 am »
Well, I voted for the first option because I'm an only child and grew up with both of my parents.  My parents are still married and both have college degrees and my Mom when to graduate school in philosophy for a time, but did not finish.

I actually wouldn't say that I personally identify with any of the family dynamics in BBM.  

While I was an only child like Jack, my parents were absolutely not abusive. In fact, my parents strongly dissapprove of physical discipline.  And, I have a strong relationship wth both parents (the dynamics in my relationships with my Mom and Dad are different in each case... but strong in equal measure).

There was a brief time when I was about 8 when my parents were clearly having some marital difficulty and my Dad went and stayed with a friend for a couple weeks.  I honestly can say that I don't really know what was going on with them to cause that brief rift.  But, they worked things out in a relatively short time.

The thing I identify with most is Ennis's behavior as a "loner" as an adult.  And, in recent months I feel like this identification is actually increasing for me.  I obviously don't have a family of my own and don't really expect to have one.

When I was younger (in college and grad school) I was a lot more social and might have identified more with Jack back then.



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Offline Artiste

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #3 on: November 07, 2008, 11:51:23 am »
Interesting post and life Atz !!

You surprised me !

Offline Kerry

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2008, 08:04:30 am »

I'm the youngest of 4 sons. No sisters. My brothers are a good deal older than me. My oldest brother is old enough to be my father. My brothers had all grown and left home by the time I reached my teens. I was 12 when the brother closest in age to me married. For that reason, I feel I grew up as an only child. My mother was 39 and my father 42 when I was born. I was the son of their old age. We were always very close. My mother was the first person I told about being gay. Mum and Dad completely accepted my sexuality. I think if PFLAG had been around in those days, they probably would have been members. Both my parents are deceased now and not a day goes by that I don't think about them in some small way or another. I miss their unconditional love, even though I believe that it hasn't actually dissipated at all. I believe that their love is still here with me. One of my brothers was gay. He had a stroke and died in his 40s. I don't see my other brothers at all now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I voted "Other" because my upbringing is nothing at all like anyone in Brokeback Mountain.
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Offline jstephens9

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2008, 11:28:52 am »
My family was not like Jack or Ennis. I have parents that are still married and always will be. I have a sister who is 10 1/2 years older than me. In ways I was kind of like an only child since my sister was grown up and out of the house when I was still a kid.

Offline Lynne

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2008, 01:25:26 pm »
Wonderful subject as is this thread Front-Ranger !

I click on other but it does NOT allow me to add, and I am asking if that can be corrected, maybe ?

Or does one detail as in a post like I am doing now ?

Au revoir,
hugs!

Yes, Artiste - Choose Other in the poll, then give details in the post!
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Offline Artiste

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2008, 08:00:32 pm »
Merci Lynne !

Ok, other I think I did and did I post too ?

Au revoir,
hugs!   Very interesting thread as a subject ! And I am wishing that many will answer and give details too !!

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2008, 12:17:05 pm »
Thank you very much to the eight voters! However, that is not xactly "statistically significant." More votes please!!
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Offline David In Indy

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2008, 05:53:14 pm »
"Two parents (at least one college educated) like Jack and Lureen's"

Both my parents were college educated, and both fairly religious (Roman Catholic). We went to Mass each Sunday and on Holy Days, observed all the various Catholic customs, prayers etc. Unlike Jack's family, both of my parents were alcoholics. Mom died an alcoholic, and dad finally gave it up about 10 years ago.

I have only one sister.


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Offline Kerry

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2008, 07:00:39 pm »

 :-* {{{ David }}}  :-*
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Offline Artiste

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2008, 12:04:26 am »
I am looking forward to more voters too please, as well as such interesting posts as herein and futur varied ones !!

Offline ednbarby

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2008, 08:36:26 pm »
My Dad left my Mom when I was three.  Actually, she asked him to leave - it's not that he took off on her.  They were separated for many years before they finally legally divorced.  I don't think they thought they might get back together again - they just didn't get around to it.

Neither of my parents had a college education.  My Dad enlisted in the Air Force right out of high school.  My Mom took a six-week secretarial course somewhere or other, but that was the extent of her higher education.  They did both graduate from high school, though, with decent grades.

I lived with my Mom and two older brothers.  Mom started drinking heavily when I was about five, not to the point of being abusive, just neglectful.  She pretty much was in the bag by about 2:00 p.m. every day, and then passed out on the living room couch until long past dinner time.  One of my older brothers molested me repeatedly from the ages of 5 until about 9.  I never used to believe in "repressed memory syndrome," figuring I remembered every time and it was only a few.  Then Brokeback Mountain came along.  I couldn't figure out why I related to Ennis so strongly until I finally had an epiphany on about my 20th viewing.  All the horrible memories came flooding back.  It wasn't a few times - it was probably every day.  I never told my Mom, but my other brother knows because he caught him at it one day and beat him to within an inch of his life, telling him if he ever touched me again, he'd kill him.

I'd like to just add that my Mom was a great mother to the three of us until she started drinking.  I remember her being a Den Mother for my brothers' Cub Scouts troops, making Christmas ornaments by hand, coloring eggs and making us elaborate baskets for Easter, always doing "arts and crafts" with us, doing her own watercolor painting which was really quite good, reading to us constantly...  And even through all of her mistakes, and she made some bad ones, I don't think any one of us ever doubted her love for us.

My Dad wasn't around much in my early life - he met a new girlfriend about a year after my parents split up who is now my stepmother and has been for about 35 years.  He came around at Christmas and on our birthdays, but other than that, we didn't see him.  He more than made that up to me when he took me in at 13 after my Mom went into rehab (for the second time).  He was very generous about taking me to see her every weekend and holiday, and for two weeks in the summer, even though she lived about an hour's drive away.  Once she was sober again, she and I became extremely close.  I could tell her anything, and did.  She was my best friend until the day she died when I was 26.

There's a Green Day song called "Tales From Another Broken Home" that really resonates with me.  Not nearly as much as Brokeback, but it's up there.

I don't wish my parents had stayed together - they did nothing but yell at each other in the end, my Mom said.  I don't remember it, but my brothers do.  I will say that to this day, yelling really upsets me, even though I don't consciously remember ever hearing any while growing up. 
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Offline ednbarby

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #13 on: November 18, 2008, 08:48:38 pm »
"Two parents (at least one college educated) like Jack and Lureen's"

Both my parents were college educated, and both fairly religious (Roman Catholic). We went to Mass each Sunday and on Holy Days, observed all the various Catholic customs, prayers etc. Unlike Jack's family, both of my parents were alcoholics. Mom died an alcoholic, and dad finally gave it up about 10 years ago.

I have only one sister.

Wow, David.  I hadn't read the other posts yet before posting mine.  Again, it's scary-crazy how much alike we are.  My Mom eventually replaced alcohol with pills, and though the cause of her death was ruled as "heart failure" (without an autopsy), I seriously believe she accidentally OD'ed.  My Dad had been a heavy smoker and drinker in his early 40s, but gave up smoking cold turkey at 42 and drinking the same way in his 50s.  He said he just didn't like the way either thing made him feel anymore.  He had started smoking at the age of 15.

My relationships with my brothers in my adult life have always been strained, as you might imagine.  We never talk about it (maybe we should...), but it's always the proverbial elephant in the room.  Actually, I did talk with my oldest brother about it about five years ago (the one who stopped it, not the one who did it).  It was only then that I learned that he had put a stop to it in a more direct way than I had thought.  He said nothing at the time, but it never happened again.  I always thought he did nothing, too, and that the other one was just embarassed that he knew.

It just goes to show you - the truth is always the way.  If only I'd known that years and years ago, I might have had a very different relationship with that oldest brother.

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Offline Lynne

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2008, 09:06:08 pm »
Hey there {{{{{{Barb}}}}}}...

I owe you a PM, Friend.  Sorry for being incommunicado.

I also want to post in this thread, but I don't have my thoughts gathered sufficiently yet.

It's cogitating... ???
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Did you grow up in a family like Ennis' or Jack's?
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2008, 01:42:03 pm »
Thanks everyone for your family stories. Looking forward to yours, Lynne!
Too much to do. . .I don't have time to get old!