BROKIE & SAYIF (R.I.P. - 12th of June 08)

[j.U.d.E.]

She'll settle honestly she will

Thank you Kelda! I hope so! It is getting better but she's is still outside most of the time. Because of bad weather she has been staying on my roofed terrace over night, but she did come inside. .. So far I can't see that she has lost weight, so I not too worried.. but I am .. always.

Today is the first time I did not go home at lunchtime.. I hope she is fine. I am going home now.

j. U. d. E.

[Kelda]

she will

[Ellemeno]

{{{j.U.d.E and Brokie}}}

[j.U.d.E.]

Thank you Elle, thank you Kelda. Thank you for your support.

Brokie is indeed changing her behaviour. She has been inside for the last couple of nights and yesterday evening she stayed in my bedroom at the window for quite some time (grant you the window was wide open and she could have jumped out any time (I live on the ground floor)).

I thought I was done crying though, but yesterday I received the card from the crematorium and it was very sad.. very sad to receive this card. I miss Sayif.. all the noise, the running around, the cuddling, the incessant eating.. It's so da*n sad!..

I am often have the images of 12th of June back in my mind and I really really wonder, if he was hit by a car actually or if it was something else.. I wonder. I don't want to know, but I wonder.. I wonder and I am angry and I worry about Brokie.

j. U. d. E.

[Kelda]

Don't think about it.... it'll just make you feel terrible.

[Ellemeno]

He was such a beautiful cat, j.U.d.E, and funny.  I always feel joy when I look at pictures of him and Brokie.  Now of course the joy has sadness alongside, but still joy.  He had a happy life, don't you think?

[j.U.d.E.]

He was such a beautiful cat, j.U.d.E, and funny.  I always feel joy when I look at pictures of him and Brokie.  Now of course the joy has sadness alongside, but still joy.  He had a happy life, don't you think?

Thank you Elle. I guess yes, he had a happy life. But what a way to go.. Today's been one month that he's gone. I was napping earlier today (with Brokie at my side - she is starting to behave 'normal' again slowly) and suddenly I was right awake - in my dream I had heard a loud screaming miauw from Sayif.. My neighbour (the one who found Sayif on the street) told me once that she firmly believes that cats have a higher sensibility in so many ways (her last cat died at 18 years to the day one year after her husband died) and I want to believe that Sayif was there.. somewhere. .. Brokie did not move at all, though.

I am not at my own PC right now, because mine crashed totally a couple of days ago (remember I have had trouble with my PC for.. well forever really) and I am so so angry, because I think that I will not be able to access my hard drive anymore ... with all the cats' pictures... so angry. Good thing that I have many on BM that I could retrieve and save again (once I bought a new PC...).

j. U. d. E.

[j.U.d.E.]

Don't think about it.... it'll just make you feel terrible.

  I'm trying, but it is not easy. I am starting to see Brokie getting back to 'normal' though and that is a good thing.

j.U.d.E.

[Kelda]

thats good to hear - looking forward to meeting her!

[j.U.d.E.]

thats good to hear - looking forward to meeting her!

You will, 'cause now she's glued to the flat.. and glued to me. I feel like she has 'given up' on finding Sayif, which makes me sad. But I guess it's better for Brokie. Also I'm torn. I don't want to take another cat - it would mean too much stress and you never know, if the two cats get along.. And it's sad, because the second cat should be Sayif.. But then again I am worried that Brokie feels lonely. She doesn't seem to be, but I think she could be a little lonely. I don't like having caged animals, but maybe it would at least be some 'company' for her. But hamsters, rabbits, birds etc. don't go together with cats very well, right? I'm torn. Maybe a turtle.. pffft.. I could get a tiny little dog, but that's too much work and not very practical when I want to tavel.. 

j.U.d.E.