Have you heard a good one lately?

[Katie77]

  This is an oldie but worth passing on in case some of you
>> haven't seen it before.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >     A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman
>> >     wave at him and say hello.
>> >
>> >     He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her
>> >     from.
>> >
>> >     So he says, "Do you Know me?"To which she replies, "I think your
>> > the
>> >     father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only
>> >     time he as
>> >     ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the
>> >     stripper from
>> >     my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies
>> >     watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and
> then
>> >     stuck a carrot up my butt???"
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>> >
>> >
>> >     She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's
>> >     math's teacher."

[sagebrush]

My friend knows Brokeback is my favorite movie, she passed this email on to me...     

Top ten Old West phrases that will never sound the same after Brokeback Mountain:

1. "I’m gonna pump you full of lead!"
2. "Give me a stiff one, barkeep!"
3. "Don’t fret - I’ve been in tight spots before."
4. "Howdy, pardner."
5. "You stay here while I sneak around from behind."
6. Two words: "Saddle sore."
7. "Hold it right there!  Now move your hand, re-e-eal slow-like."
8. "Let’s mount up!"
9. "Nice spread ya got here."
10. "Ride  ‘em, cowboy!"

[Katie77]

Brazilian Wax

[Katie77]

Losing a friend

[sagebrush]

[insane-romantic]

This one from the end of "Vicar of Dibley" this week.

There was once a boy born who had no body, no arms, or legs - in fact he was just a head.
On his 18th Birthday, his Dad took him to the pub for his first pint.
He took a drink and, to his surprise, a body suddenly popped out of nowhere!
So, he drank some more and his arms appeared!
On the third sip his legs appeared!

He was so surprised and amazed at this that he ran out of the pub into the road.
He was hit by a lorry and died instantly.

The bartender said to the boy's Father:
"He should have quit while he was ahead"

(I know it's not really good taste and probably not that funny, but I liked it  )

[Katie77]

"NOT MY JOB" award, for 2006

[sagebrush]

"Why do I have such a stiff neck?"

[sagebrush]

Someone sent me an email a long time ago on the dangers of posting your picture on the web.  This was the attachment...

[sagebrush]