Finally...

[Momof2]

I too have wondered why THIS movie has affected me in this way.  I have seen hundreds of movies that made me look at things differently but have never stayed with me like this.  Most nights Jack and Ennis are the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and are with me the next morning and through out the day.  I am so glad I decided to watch BBM.  Maybe we are the "chosen" ones that will change the world.  I have never seen my self as an activist but now when I hear someone making snide remarks about "gays" I give them an earful.  Escpecially when someone says it is a choice.  I said, How can you think it is a choice?  Who would chose to be discriminated against and hated for how and who they love.  No one would choose that pain.  Did you "choose" to love women.  Why is it a choice for them.  As I have said before, I have a very close friend that is gay and I think if I heard someone say something about them now that I would be the one doing the bashing. 

Sorry for the rant.  I just do not understand how anyone can see this movie and not "get it".  I know movies affects people differently, but all you have to do is look at this board and others to know there is something to it.  It is not about being gay or not gay.  It is about being in love and all the joy, pain, and loss that comes with it.  Straight people (me) should thank God everyday that they can love like they can.  Everyone should be so lucky. 

[ednbarby]

I too have wondered why THIS movie has affected me in this way.  I have seen hundreds of movies that made me look at things differently but have never stayed with me like this.  Most nights Jack and Ennis are the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and are with me the next morning and through out the day.  I am so glad I decided to watch BBM.  Maybe we are the "chosen" ones that will change the world.  I have never seen my self as an activist but now when I hear someone making snide remarks about "gays" I give them an earful.  Escpecially when someone says it is a choice.  I said, How can you think it is a choice?  Who would chose to be discriminated against and hated for how and who they love.  No one would choose that pain.  Did you "choose" to love women.  Why is it a choice for them.  As I have said before, I have a very close friend that is gay and I think if I heard someone say something about them now that I would be the one doing the bashing. 

Sorry for the rant.  I just do not understand how anyone can see this movie and not "get it".  I know movies affects people differently, but all you have to do is look at this board and others to know there is something to it.  It is not about being gay or not gay.  It is about being in love and all the joy, pain, and loss that comes with it.  Straight people (me) should thank God everyday that they can love like they can.  Everyone should be so lucky.

Well-said.  This movie has made me a bit of an activist, too.  I swear before it, if someone uttered the 'n' word or the 'f' word or any other bigoted slurs in my presence, I'd just change the subject and then kick myself later for not letting them have it.  Now it's no problem at all for me to say, "I would really appreciate it if you don't use that word around me."  I sometimes get an argument, but I'll tell ya what.  They never say it in front of me again, nor do they bash other races or gays in front of me again without at least stopping themselves first and saying something snide like, "Oh, I'd better not say that - Barb'll get mad."  I just say, "Good call - you're probably right" and go on about my merry way.  I like to hope that if they think twice in front of me now, they think twice in front of everyone else.

I love your response to the ignoramus "choice" argument, too, which I think is right up there with the top three most dumbass ideas a human could have - that someone would actually choose a life of ostracism and stigmatism, and in many cases, potential physical violence.  Please.  That's one of those where the second I hear it, I'm pretty much done hearing anything else that person has to say.  Sorry to be so black and white about it, but I don't see any other way around it.

[Katie77]

How many times do you read a post on here, and think"thats what I do...thats what I say....thats how I feel.....

It really makes you feel that the feelings we are all feeling are so much the same, it is a bit bewildering...

I was just reading the last few posts, where straight people have said they are actively verbal in standing up for gay people against slurs and idiotic phrases such as "they chose their life".....

I find it impossible to hold my tongue too, in such cases, now.....when once before, I would not agree, but I wouldnt say anything.....now I feel it is my right, to voice my opinion, now I feel, because i have seen it first hand in the movie, that I can make an honest and worthwhile opinion....now I feel, that if someone would sit down and listen to what I have to say, I might be able to change their ideas on things....or even sit down and watch the movie, they might change their ideas....

I said earlier in this thread, that I think we have been selected.....from what I can see from these message boards...the people most affected seem to be gay men, and straight women....

I am in no way, making a feminist statement here, just an observant thought......but I was just thinking, maybe it will be the straight female community that will eventually be the voice that will one day make the necessary changes, so that people in the gay community will have a better way of life.

[serious crayons]

maybe it will be the straight female community that will eventually be the voice that will one day make the necessary changes, so that people in the gay community will have a better way of life.

Well, I think it will be mainly people in the gay community who will and should take the lead and get the credit. Though straight women certainly can be supportive. As can straight men, for that matter!

Funny -- I just finished reading a new book about certain feminist issues in which the author argues that women's-rights activists should follow the examples of gay-rights activists, whom she considers more successful in achieving public empathy. (Too complicated to go into here, but the gist was that feminists should focus on arguing in favor of human values rather than freedom of choice.)

[Katie77]

Not wanting to get into anything feminist here, as I am NOT a feminist.....

I think what helps any minority group, is having a majority group support them, as was what I was trying to say in my previous post....Straight women, have more contact with straight people, straight women wouldnt be looked at as having something to gain personally from their support of the gay community, so therefore may have more credibility among the straight community on this issue.....

Of course the gay community, will end up having to do most of the work, but these boards have indicated the strong support from straight women and I think that should be used to some advantage by the gay community.

[serious crayons]

Not wanting to get into anything feminist here, as I am NOT a feminist.....

Why not, Katie? Just curious.

Anyway, definitely we should all support each other. Women (of any orientation) have their own struggles, too, so it goes both ways.

[Momof2]

We should support each other just for the simple fact that God made each of us.  I am Catholic.   I support and believe most things that I have been taught about the Church.  Our priest who is mine and my husbands age (35-38) told us that we should love everyone no matter what.  He said we should not judge someone for simply loving someone.  He also told us to embrace all of our brothers and sisters in love.  We all are a part of God and God is love.  That is why people through religion up.  Anytime someone does not understand something then it must be a sin.  I say let those people put their lives on public display and I am sure they have some "dirty little secret".  I can not stomach religious wackos.  I do not know what Bible they read.   

I am a feminist.  I believe everyone no matter sex, race, or sexual orientation should have the same rights.  I also think that if more people would take a stand when they hear people spouting ugly and discriminatory remarks towards other people it would help.  People just do not want to get involved.  I have had people say that I must be bi-sexual because I am "for" gays.  I say So what if I am.  It is nobodys business but mine.  Years ago I did not understand what being gay meant.  As most I was taught that it was wrong.  Then I had the privelege to be good friends with both men and women that are gay. Some of them I had no idea until they told me.   It opened my eyes to the fact that they are just like any "normal" person.  They love with the same passion that we do.  It is just different from the way I love.  More power to them.  Everyone deserves and is entitled to love any one they choose. 

Now I will get off my soapbox. 

[2robots4u]

Hey Mom, stay on that soapbox!  We need more people like you who have something to say, and say it with conviction. There is absolutely no difference between straight and gay people EXCEPT THE PARTNER IN THEIR BED!!  Thank you for letting me share a corner of the soapbox.....Doug
   

[Katie77]

Why not, Katie? Just curious.

Anyway, definitely we should all support each other. Women (of any orientation) have their own struggles, too, so it goes both ways.

No reason latjoreme, i just didnt want this thread to get into "feminism"....and I didnt want my opinion to sound like it was feminist....i was just making a point.....

[serious crayons]

No reason latjoreme, i just didnt want this thread to get into "feminism"....and I didnt want my opinion to sound like it was feminist....i was just making a point.....

True, a big debate of feminism would be way OT. I'm just always surprised when a woman says she is not a feminist.