Author Topic: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life  (Read 93970 times)

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
« Reply #30 on: March 31, 2006, 01:23:33 am »
A big development for BetterMost today as we adopt the folks from the Pierre Tremblay forum from IMDB.  They are all refugees from IMDB's Brokeback Mountain forum who found refuge in one of the quiet forums for/about Pierre Tremblay who worked on the film Brokeback Mountain.  Unfortunately that got overrun as well and they have been hunting for a friendly new home and landed here.

Most of them aren't aware of the overall mission of BetterMost but they'll see as they venture out into the other forums in due course.  I have been a participant on the Tremblay forum myself and they are a very devoted and committed bunch to the message of Brokeback.  I know its a very sudden flood of new people into our small community, but I think overall we're seeing a great infusion of new friends.  And I was worried things were quieting way down after the Oscars. :)

I'm still doing a ton of work behind the scenes on BetterMost.  I learned today the power issues are now resolved in the neighborhood so I get 21st century living back!
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
« Reply #31 on: March 31, 2006, 03:05:58 am »
Randi Rhodes, a great liberal talkshow host heard in several cities, was in rare form today commenting about the new chief of staff's apparent fetish over presidential hands.  Load this into your ipod and listen at home, at work, or in your car.  :D

http://www.phillipdampier.net/downloads/randirhodes3-30.mp3 (26 megs... yeah, it's big)
« Last Edit: March 31, 2006, 03:08:13 am by Phillip »
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
« Reply #32 on: April 01, 2006, 06:44:15 pm »
My big question for this weekend: Will BetterMost achieve its 200th user this weekend?  :)
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Offline Lynne

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Re: Phil's MiniBlog/Diary
« Reply #33 on: April 05, 2006, 11:45:44 pm »
My big question for this weekend: Will BetterMost achieve its 200th user this weekend?  :)

Asked and answered, Phil, and just a few days after the weekend.  :)

My big question is HOW are you managing all this?  From where I'm sitting, I can't imagine you having a spare second!

Excellent job.

-Lynne
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Phil's Lewis the Psycho Cat Fan Site
« Reply #34 on: April 12, 2006, 09:44:18 am »
Heh... thought changing the subject might attract a few people in.  (Lewis the cat is, of course, the attack cat in Connecticut that has a body count, including the Avon lady - and has a the distinction of being the only cat with a restraining order and hasn't been on Cops.)

This week is Phil Puts Off Doing Taxes until the last week and then discovering one group didn't send me the papers I need.  So I am offline a lot until I get them done and out the door.

http://www.connpost.com/news/ci_3646541
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Offline Phillip Dampier

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Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
« Reply #35 on: April 16, 2006, 11:03:20 pm »
My taxes are done and the Easter weekend comes to an end and spring is finally starting to arrive in earnest here in western NY.  I have a bunch of random thoughts I'll group together, differentiating thought-changes with a color-change.

I spent last night with a friend who provided me the seed for my message in Now What about material things not providing true happiness.  It's very interesting how often I am using Brokeback Mountain as a parable for various life situations these days.  It's a story with many parables itself, so I suppose that's inevitable.

My usual reaction to people hurting is a desire to help them find ways to stop hurting.  I've always been a problem-solver kind of friend to people.  Unfortunately, when you figure you have found some answers and the person just can't pick up what you are putting down, it gets frustrating real fast.  Here's a guy who tries incredibly hard to be well-liked and accepted, and he needn't bother because he has those inherent qualities by default.  In fact, his efforts end up backfiring when he lays on the praise and generous thoughts so heavily that you start doubting his intentions, especially when his actions don't match his glowing words.  Then you start believing the person is playing you by buttering you up.

I am convinced we all have these self-doubt demons in us that lead us to doubting we can make this or that work in our lives.  That sure has been the case in my own over the years.  The only way out of Demonland is to, step by step, prove those demons wrong.  BetterMost has helped there.

Learning about IdahoLonely's plight tonight was a bit shocking to me, if only because I hadn't noticed he'd been offline for more than a week and I hadn't heard from him.  Doing your taxes will do that to you, as well as spring cleaning and trying to catch up on the things you didn't accomplish for half the winter because you were too busy visiting Brokeback Mountain over and over again.

My personal goal is to not let the movie's message slip away from me, because that could be a major threat to my drive to change.  It's easy to fall back into bad habits when you stop believing.

Showtime has been running The Game, circa 1997 starring Michael Douglas and Sean Penn once again.  It was definitely a message-movie, complete with some paranoia about what is real and what isn't.  It is a great film for an adult audience who enjoy watching characters stuck in a grinding life pattern find change in their lives by something shaking them up.  If you haven't seen it, consider renting it or watching it.  Yes, there are scenes over the top that seem to lack "real world" credibility, but it's still entertaining.
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Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
« Reply #36 on: April 16, 2006, 11:32:52 pm »
My personal goal is to not let the movie's message slip away from me, because that could be a major threat to my drive to change.  It's easy to fall back into bad habits when you stop believing.

I've wondered aout this too Phillip.  That rational part of my mind trying to tell me this is just a phase and things will return "normal" (read: to the old ways) soon enough - a temporary popular craze - like yo-yos.  But just like asking yourself if you're crazy means that you're not, the evidence of the quality of people that have been drawn here, and the fact that we all believe in this message of Brokeback, tells me that this is not just devotion for a film.  You have played an important part in creating this environment, now you have to have faith in the process as it unfolds.  Best wishes, Phillip.
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Offline YaadPyar

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Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
« Reply #37 on: April 16, 2006, 11:58:54 pm »
Hmmmm - I don't think there's any going back.  I think you/me/us - are different.  It's not just a hope or desire, but a reality exemplified by the very fact that this conversation is taking place here, in a world entirely of your own design. 

There's no turning back from the impact your vision has already had on so many.  The change is unfolding, not some elusive mythical creature floating up ahead.  It's here and now already.  Real life unfolds in such ordinary ways it's hard to notice it's happening sometimes...I think I want to go back and notice all the change.  I know it's there, and think I've discounted its importance because it's been in such small and ordinary ways.

And because the impetus for this change is something that's a secret from most people I know.  I can talk about the change, but with most folks, I can't talk about the movie, and so this process has been more underground than usual for me.

Hmmmm - I wonder if that's the same for all of us?  The change we're experiencing being a bit hidden even to ourselves since the source has been such a secret...?!  I'm gonna ask tomorrow over at CT (after a good night's sleep).
"Vice, Virtue. It's best not to be too moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life. Aim above morality. If you apply that to life, then you're bound to live life fully." (Harold & Maude - 1971)

Offline BBMGrandma

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Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
« Reply #38 on: April 17, 2006, 02:59:12 am »
Hey My Friends...

The thoughts that perhaps Brokeback Mountain will EVER slip out of my life...just strengthens my will to KEEP it in my life....forever!!  This story/movie/forum has helped me SO very much through these last few weeks.  As I sat at Everett's services on Thursday...our 'boys' and their faces and their feeilngs kept zinging through me...endlessly.  Ennis kept repeating to me...."if you can't fix it....you just hafta stand it..."  And Jack...."it doesn't have to be this way....."  and Jack..."it's nobody's business but ours..." and on and on.  There were people who got up to the podium to say a few words....bawling their eyes out....who never had the compassion nor decency to visit Everett while he lay there dying.  There were others who sat there quietly grieving...who HAD been there with Everett....who DID hold his hand....who earned my respect.  And every lesson I learned that day....somehow...tied into Brokeback.  These feelings will be with me...always!!  I've learned more than a few of life's lessons from our 'boys'.  I've learned to TELL the ones that you love....that you LOVE them....!!  I've learned that turning away from a problem...doesn't solve it...it only makes it harder to figure out when it returns again.  I've learned that whatever stage you're in...in LIFE....it makes it joyous if you can laugh and play!!  Hold hands with someone you love...and HOLD on tight.  Hold someone's hand that you DON'T love...and make them feel loved.  Give of yourself....but be wise enough to know when the offer isn't accepted...and move ON.  I'm climbing Brokeback Mountain...one step at a time.  I don't WANT to climb it any faster....I want to savor each step...and learn from it.  And lastly....I'm learning that love doesn't come knocking on your door...you've got to OPEN that door and step outside and FIND IT!! 

I hope all of you know how much love you've all given to me during these difficult times.  I'd come in here...with tears in my eyes...and ALWAYS left....smiling through those tears.

Thank you doesn't seem like enough.....but love does!!

Much LOVE and warm HUGS....Nancy  :-*
"If we never dream....we'll never have a dream come true"   (me...myself...and I)

Offline Aussie Chris

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Re: Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
« Reply #39 on: April 17, 2006, 04:26:42 am »
Thank you doesn't seem like enough.....but love does!!

Awww Nancy, you're just the sweetest, most lovable BBM grandma in the world.  I think most of us feel exactly the same.
Nothing is as common as the wish to be remarkable - William Shakespeare