Author Topic: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identify with more?  (Read 16251 times)

Offline monimm18

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Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identify with more?
« on: April 04, 2006, 01:59:45 am »
I think one of the reasons why some films go beyond our minds and enter our hearts is the fact that we identify with one or more of the characters, or the situations. Since my first days on the BBM board at IMDB I heard (well, read...) some people mentioning that they identified with Ennis or Jack. We have all dissected and analyzed this beautiful film and his characters enough to realize the difference between Jack and Ennis.

So, here's my question again:

With which one have you identified more, Jack or Ennis; and why? Mind you, I don't mean which one have you empathised with/felt for, although I would like to hear about that too. I mean which one of them reminded you more of yourself today, or at siome point(s) in your life?

As for myself, I realized I have identified with Ennis for one period in my life, and with Jack for another. Like Ennis I once was afraid to take that leap of faith and defy my circumstances. Then, later I played Jack to an Ennis, daring to give everything for someone who was afraid of losing before he even tried playing.  Nothing new, you'll say, and I agree. We all have our hardhsips, but do they they affect us differently?

Funny, even though the second period was the one that hurt the most, it's the first one, when I was like Ennis, that I regret the most. I wonder if it's  human nature - do we have more regrets for lost opportunities than for the consequences of the things we did?

So, I guess, in my case, I identified more with Ennis.

Now, empathy wise, my heart went to Jack, maybe because he was, like Annie Proulx put it (paraphrasing a bit), "quicksilver, beautiful, hungry, bitterly disappointed over and over, and still able to give so much love and electricity". Who could not love that? Jack's soul is what I wanted mine to be.

moni
« Last Edit: April 05, 2006, 12:38:51 am by monimm18 »
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Offline montferrat

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #1 on: April 04, 2006, 02:06:20 am »
I most emphatically would have to say:  Ennis.

Not for any romantic similarities, but because I saw him as very very lonely and "an island unto himself"
and I could relate very strongly to that.

This movie was the impetus for me to change many things that had me heading for a life all by myself and I thank God I have been able to use the sorrow and empathy I felt for Ennis to redirect my own life.
"hunh?!" ~ Ennis Del Mar

Offline Kea

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2006, 02:12:30 am »
This is a great question..

I have been thinking alot about it.

I always saw myself as an Ennis. Simply cos I was cautious, shy and more afraid. BUt after the movie ,I discovered that I am realy truly deep inside a Jack...I have always been that way...

I just pushed him down deep,  quite like the way Ennis pushed away Jack with his hopes , his dreaming....

except my Ennis's were people and circumstances that made me somehow feel it was wrong to be a Jack ...to be starry eyed...to be a romantic .... that I had to grow up...

so I changed and became a very poor impression of Ennis....it is not then surprising how miserable I have become..

There would be times when "jack" would slip to the surface...when I would be really me.....but it saced me ..Being Jack means being very vulnerable and open to being hurt......

it was hard to decide what or who to be....

I think over the last couple of weeks I have come to realize that I need to be Jack.......even if I risk the tire iron..( sorry for the analogy bashing ) ....cos there is not other way to live......for me at least.

I know I wont be silly about my choices cos I still have my Ennis lurking about ...saying .." it aint gonna be like this " ..

It is a hard thing to say sorry to your own spirit that you have shoved away and devalued.....and let other devalue...

...When I see Jack on the screen..I want to hug him and say sorry too...for not accepting him as part of who I am.....of not giving him a place in my life...

maybe I have had my "Jack ,I swear ......" moment too

hoping this makes sense to someone else..

hugs
Kea
"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown

Offline monimm18

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2006, 02:30:11 am »
This movie was the impetus for me to change many things that had me heading for a life all by myself and I thank God I have been able to use the sorrow and empathy I felt for Ennis to redirect my own life.

Many people say that, and for a while I didn't realize what they meant. For a long time I was paralyzed by the grief this film caused me, almost emotionally unavailable for people I love, and uncapable of doing more than examine my life and mourn its little failures. LOL, now that everything has been churned and rearranged, I think the butter is beginning to separate from the whey.
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Offline starboardlight

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #4 on: April 04, 2006, 02:34:51 am »
I've post many time, I was Ennis, in my younger years. I understood him so completely. I understood the way he would look, or wouldn't look at Jack. In the " that's more word than you've spoken in the past two weeks" scene, the way he'd look at Jack, see Jack staring back with those doe eyes, avert his gaze down, then decide to take it head on and look back at Jack, "wha?" is exactly something I've done. I related so much to his fears and paralysis. And like Paul, it's Ennis's fate that is forcing me to confront my demons now.

Jack, I could only relate to in so much as that's who I'd like to be. I'd love to possess his openness, his charm and his daring to dream for a life beyond his own situation.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2006, 02:39:15 am by starboardlight »
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Offline monimm18

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2006, 02:50:26 am »
Kea,

Wow... Your post has examplified this film's introspective power and its ability to change us.

Thank you.
"Don't be merely satisfied with a better life. We should demand to live in a better world."

Offline starboardlight

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #6 on: April 04, 2006, 02:58:30 am »

I think over the last couple of weeks I have come to realize that I need to be Jack.......even if I risk the tire iron..( sorry for the analogy bashing ) ....cos there is not other way to live......for me at least.

...When I see Jack on the screen..I want to hug him and say sorry too...for not accepting him as part of who I am.....of not giving him a place in my life...


that's is beautiful. That is one of the reasons I love Jack so much. I love what he inspires in me to be. I want to be able to take that risk. And you're exactly right, I grieve for him because I've shut him out of me.
"To do is to be." Socrates. - "To be is to do." Plato. - "Do be do be do" Sinatra.

Offline j.U.d.E.

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #7 on: April 04, 2006, 05:32:15 am »
I can't really 'identify' as such, but if I need to choose then I'd say I am an Ennis. Though once in a while my Jack peaks through.. if you know what I mean.

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #8 on: April 04, 2006, 06:22:20 am »
I most emphatically would have to say:  Ennis.

Not for any romantic similarities, but because I saw him as very very lonely and "an island unto himself"
and I could relate very strongly to that.

This movie was the impetus for me to change many things that had me heading for a life all by myself and I thank God I have been able to use the sorrow and empathy I felt for Ennis to redirect my own life.

Now that's beautiful Paul and very well said.  Thats how I feel too, this film opened my eyes to the passage of time and how I was going to be old and alone if I didn't get my act together.  I'm still alive and I need to live!

Offline delalluvia

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Re: Ennis or Jack? Which one did you identified with more?
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2006, 09:06:15 am »
I indentified more with Jack. 

Sadly for me, I seem to have a habit of choosing quiet, introspective men as lovers, only to find out, like Jack, that the reasons for their quietness and 'shyness' and introspection is because of some trauma or issues they have in life.  Like Jack, I've spent more years than I care to remember, being with these high maintenance men, helping where I could, dealing with their issues on a daily basis at times or their restricted schedules, gladly taking whatever they could give me because we did share good times only to find out in the end that, like Ennis, they were not going to change - or at least they weren't going to change for me.

It really hurts.

Like Jack, I can remember the good times, how this person 'really' was because I did fall in love with something of them, something no one else could see because the man was private, but in the end, all you have are the ashes of your relationship, their issues and the years spent getting nowhere.

I can cry for the Ennis' I've loved, because I know where fear and insecurity can drive a man, but in the end, I'm crying for Jack.