parents, kids, and people who used to be kids

[nakymaton]

You might have noticed that some of us parent-types on the board keep getting off topic and discussing kids and parenting. So... here's a thread where we can talk about kids (and about having been a kid ) without derailing the other conversations going on.

Some of the side conversations we've been having in the past few weeks include:

- naming kids, and the comments people make when you tell them the names you are considering. (For the record: I didn't tell anyone the name we had chosen for my son until he was born. And then it turned out to be the most common boy's name in town that year. Oh, well.)

- kids' movies, and what a three-year-old can watch without getting scared. (I've tried The Wizard of Oz and Finding Nemo with no luck. Thank goodness for DVDs that can be turned off when the scary or sad parts begin!)

- how to keep a kid from running wild in the grocery store... and stories about the kids we just can't seem to make behave in the ways that everyone would like them to behave.

- how annoying it is that "family" tends to mean "we have a Bible and don't serve gays" rather than "we have crayons and serve grilled cheese sandwiches and pancakes with mouse ears on them."

[Front-Ranger]

Yay, a place for us!! There was a time when I would have been just thrilled if my kid just ate yogurt, Mel. Instead she had food fetishes for things like marlin and black olives. I got concerned because you know olives are cured in lye. But, she lived and pretty much eats everything now.

Scary movies? I can just tell you which ones to stay away from. Bambi is the worst! With the Wizard of Oz a close second. Don't even think of putting on the Yearling. Stick to Barney and Sesame Street, they are only mildly traumatizing.

Thanks for starting this thread!

[serious crayons]

My kid is going through a phase where all he wants to eat is strawberry yogurt. Is he going to turn into a pink cow?

Kids seem amazingly resillient when it comes to food. If I believed everything I read about nutrition in magazine articles -- which I do -- my kids are lucky to be standing right now.

I'm afraid it doesn't get much better as they get older. My 10-year-old son is a strict vegetarian, won't eat anything that has even touched meat. My 12-year-old son eats no vegetables. My husband is trying to lose a few pounds, so he doesn't want anything fattening. As for me, I am tired of making anything that takes more than 15 minutes to prepare.

So what does that leave us? Not much beyond Chinese takeout.

Mel and Barb, don't you love how whenever your report some scary development in your 3-year-olds and ask if it's a bad sign, my response is always "Yes, be very afraid"?  Sorry, but it's better than the reverse. From the time my first son was born people kept telling me it was going to get easier. Ahem ... I'm still waiting! 

[Jeff Wrangler]

I am not now, nor will I ever be, a parent, but even so, I would not let a child under age 8--maybe even under age 10, depending on the child--watch The Wizard of Oz. I don't care if it's a classic. It scared the hell out of me as a small child.

[Lynne]

I am not now, nor will I ever be, a parent, but even so, I would not let a child under age 8--maybe even under age 10, depending on the child--watch The Wizard of Oz. I don't care if it's a classic. It scared the hell out of me as a small child.

Jeff,
I'll second what you said above and add Snow White.  The branches of the trees reaching out and grabbing her during her escape through the enchanted forest gave me nightmares for weeks; I can't remember how old I was - 8 or 9, I guess.
-Lynne

[serious crayons]

I'll second what you said above and add Snow White.  The branches of the trees reaching out and grabbing her during her escape through the enchanted forest gave me nightmares for weeks; I can't remember how old I was - 8 or 9, I guess.

When my younger son was about 3, he wanted to watch Snow White constantly. He'd have watched it several times a day, if he could. We had a bunch of videos, but whenever I'd ask him what he wanted, the answer was always "Snow White!!!" I could never figure out why he loved it so much. Maybe he identified with the dwarves?

(Why is it that G-rated movies can kill off friends and parents? Seems to me that those are about the most traumatic possible things that a small child can imagine. Or are they common in children's movies because kids worry about those things anyway?)

Maybe. This doesn't quite justify Bambi's mother getting tragically shot, but one explanation for why kids in children's stories are so often orphans is it gives them a chance to fantasize about being out in the world and having adventures and being powerful figures -- an escape from their real lives, where they're powerless and small and largely at the mercy of adults.

[Front-Ranger]

Also, what is a Power Ranger, anyway? My son says he wants to be one for Halloween, and I have absolutely no clue what's involved.

I keep trying to convince him to be a pirate, because I figure that's an easy costume, but no. Cowboys we can do, too. But no. A Power Ranger, whatever that is.

I'm not sure we can visit the costumes section in the store, either. Last year he got really scared of the skeleton that started singing and dancing when we walked by, and he hasn't let me take him into that section of the store again.

I don't know about a power ranger, but a Front Ranger I do know about!!
One year my son wanted to be Legolas. So, I had to sew up leggings, a tunic (two layers), an arrow case, sheath for sword, halberds, arrows, and boots. I bought the blonde wig, fake sword, dagger, and bow. It was grueling!

[serious crayons]

You guys are so brave to make costumes from scratch. No way would I ever do that, because I know exactly what would happen: I would slave over some elaborate things, and my kids would hate them and refuse to wear them.

So for years, I just took them to Target and let them pick out what they wanted. One year, my then-3-year-old son unhesitatingly picked out a McDonald's french-fries costume. He was all excited about it. Then he got to the daycare party and discovered that all the other boys had superhero costumes. He refused to wear the french fries. On Halloween night, he grudgingly wore the fries trick-or-treating, but complained the whole time and kept insisting on going home. Finally, I gave in. On the way, we stopped at a convenience store. Some older kids hanging around outside said, "Cool french fries, dude!" And then of course he liked them.

Now my boys' main priority in a costume is that it must be gross. So we just go to the costume shop and get fake blood and fake wounds and fake knives stabbing into wounds and fake broken glass sticking out of wounds.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Are the Power Rangers still around? Be glad he doesn't want to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. 

[cmr107]

Having recently turned 20, I think I'm somewhere between the 'kids' and 'people who used to be kids' categories, but I'm going to go ahead and reply here.

I used to love Power Rangers! I think I wanted to be the yellow one. One of my fondest memories is from when I was little involved them. My parents had a rule for Christmas morning that my brother, who is 2 years older, and I couldn't wake them up to go downstairs until like 6am or something. He had a TV in his room and I didn't for a few years, so we would both wake up really early and we would watch Power Rangers in his room until we could wake our parents up. And yes, I liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles also.  (I was a bit of a tomboy.)



Now about food. I am, and have always been, the pickiest eater I know. I think it is partly to do with the fact that my mom was rather traumatized as a kid because her mother always made her eat everything on her plate, whether she liked it or not. My mom did not want to impose that on me, so I never had to eat anything I didn't want to. It seems like I have some sort of weird psychological thing about trying new food. I think the best approach is to make kids try new food, but don't make them eat it if they don't want to.

I don't think any of these movies you guys are talking about scared me as a kid, and I saw all of them except Bambi. I remember seeing West Side Story when I was pretty little, and wow, was I terrified. But I like it now. 

Sorry guys, apparently I talk to much at 1:45am. We now return to your regularly scheduled program thread.