Author Topic: I miss you on weekends  (Read 121074 times)

Offline Lumière

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #150 on: April 11, 2007, 05:30:37 pm »
Milli, I have had extraordinary experiences in graveyards.   Very Mystical and Very Spiritual~  So I agree that a graveyard is a way-cool hang out spot!  Go for it Phoenix!  There is a lot of comfort for a soul in pain among the dead...

peace  :'(
br. patrick

I am sure there is, Brother P.  ;) 
Visiting a graveyard would definitely put me in a completely different mindset, that's for sure! 
The last time I really visited a graveyard was when I was on holiday a few years ago.  I found myself wondering about every person lying there, what their lives were like, how they might've died, especially if they were children.    It gives me a whole new perspective on things even though I end up with a pretty heavy mood ..  :)


Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #151 on: April 22, 2007, 02:30:07 am »
Nothing's more painful than the tearing stab of jealousy in your stomach.


God should of just made him gay
« Last Edit: April 22, 2007, 09:59:59 pm by RebelWithSadness »
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

injest

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #152 on: April 22, 2007, 10:29:41 am »
{{Phoenix}}

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #153 on: April 23, 2007, 12:18:00 pm »
But that is not how things turned out. It does not mean he is any less of a person, it does not mean he can't be your friend.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #154 on: April 23, 2007, 10:31:06 pm »
sorry...its just hard to watch him makeout with some cheap slut he met an hour before.


That was rude, sorry.

I'm going to a Shrink. I will tell you guys what's been up soon  ;)

love, Phoenix
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #155 on: April 24, 2007, 02:45:28 pm »
That is good, my time of the couch was an uplifting experence in the long run, some tuff work sometimes but it was worth it.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #156 on: April 25, 2007, 05:11:31 am »
That is good, my time of the couch was an uplifting experience in the long run, some tuff work sometimes but it was worth it.

I've been therapy off and on since 1989.  Permanently since 1997.  If hadn't done this, I don't think that I would be alive to tell you how helpful it is.

sharing your tears ~ :'(
br. patrick
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin

Offline Lumière

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #157 on: April 25, 2007, 02:56:18 pm »
sorry...its just hard to watch him makeout with some cheap slut he met an hour before.


That was rude, sorry.

I am guessing that he wasn't doing it to spite you.  :)  He doesn't know how you really feel about him, so he is not thinking about that when he makes out with a girl infront of you.  I know, it sucks ..  :-\


I'm going to a Shrink. I will tell you guys what's been up soon  ;)

love, Phoenix

Good. :) 

Take it easy, friend.
~M


Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #158 on: April 26, 2007, 07:33:14 pm »
Okay I'm going to summarize this.......


two weeks ago (Friday the 13th, ironically)

Bill spends the night at my house
Tara and her cousin come over, and her cousin is very quiet
Bill flirts with Tara's cousin (Franky)
Later me and Bill are at the Graveyard, smoking, and Tara calls me
She wants me and Bill to go to Tara's house to 'hang out.'
Bill says he would like to, because he's horny!
I down 10 painkillers in a fit of anxiety (Bill's arm was around Franky)
THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We go to the playground, i feel the jealousy and the pills eating at my stomach
I sit and willingly watch Bill and Franky make out right in front of me...................
I start crying to Tara (who doesn't know about my love for Bill)
I make some excuse, and i feel like shit
Luckily, Bill and Franky don't have sex
I'm pissed off after we leave, and Bill knows it
I was in horrible shape
I told him about the pills and how i thought of suicide
He thinks i have unexplainable emotional outburst and doesn't know its HIM
He puts his hand on my chest and tells me to breathe (to see if my heart was racing)
He rubs my back passionately, and (while looking me in the eyes) tells me to never do that again
I agree, and i actually gave a front hug this time, but he accidently choked me with his shoulder, LOL!
We go to sleep (well, i kinda did)
Next morning, while he sleeps, i listen to music and cry
he had to go home after just one day..
We drop him off, i go inside his house (no one was home)
he let me borrow two games of his..
I gave him another front hug, and i apologized
"for what?" he asked, and i said 'everything.'
He walked me out, waved at the door, and i knew i was going to break...
I get in the van and i have an emotional breakdown
I felt horrible, crying, all the jealousy, and the pain of seeing him wanting and having another!
Unfortunately, Brokeback was on TV, and i decided to watch the ending...
I cried more, and went to smoke at the graveyard
He called me that night
Then the next day


Monday 16th-thursday 12th

We stay after school together for the play, and i feel good about that...

more later
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Lumière

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #159 on: April 26, 2007, 08:36:24 pm »
Phoenix ~

I know we have never met face to face and may not 'know' each other, but if I may offer some advice..

I'm pleading with you..

*Please*..

Don't take pills like that again. 
My heart sank when I read about the pills and thought of suicide.. :(

I know that everything is overwhelming you at this time but I do hope that your therapy is helping. 
At some point when you feel abit more secure about things, it would be a good idea to start thinking of telling Bill how you feel.
You don't have to tell him all at once, of course .. See how things go with your therapy and then maybe you can decide then.
There is no way he can know that he is hurting you when he kisses another or sleeps with someone else.  :-\

What you are going through is by no means easy, but rest assured that others have been in those same shoes you are in now, and they have overcome the pain and survived.  You will too.

Hugs,
~M
« Last Edit: April 29, 2007, 01:41:20 pm by Lucise »