Author Topic: I miss you on weekends  (Read 145182 times)

Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #160 on: April 27, 2007, 01:45:54 pm »
*Please*..

Don't take pills like that again. 
My heart sank when I read about the pills and thought of suicide.. :(

I totally agree with Milli.  I can't even count the number of men I have fallen in (lust) love for over the past 30 years who couldn't (or wouldn't) return my feelings.  I've also been at the point of suicide.  God wouldn't let me and I'm sure glad he didn't because things are SO much better now.  When you're at the bottom, My Dear Boy, the only way to go is UP!  And you are so Lucky that he TOUCHES you!  How I would long to be touched by those I was enamoured with...

prayers & peace  :'(
br. patrick
« Last Edit: April 28, 2007, 12:29:42 am by Br. Patrick »
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #161 on: April 27, 2007, 03:08:31 pm »
I can relate to how you feel. I have been thru the same thing myself when I was you age, and older. Finally when I was 30 and still going down that path I saw a psychiatrist. Just hearing myself talk helped me immensely, and I worked thru it.

Bill would not hurt you if he knew what he was doing was the source of your pain. I know how much you care for him, but the truth is he mostlikely is straight. My doctor helped me realize that wanting something I could not have was a form avoidance, keeping me from ultimately committing to someone who cared for me.

I know it hurts, but Friend you know what would hurt worse? Ending it all too soon, and never getting to see the beauty and wonder of this life you have.

Bless You.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #162 on: April 29, 2007, 05:53:35 pm »
Thanks :(

i've been hanging in there.

On Wednesday (4/18), Bill stood up to Jackie and explained to her how she hurts him. I guess Jackie cried and that she has been softer on him ever since.

Part 2

Friday 20th (4/20!)

Our school was in lockdown, because someone found a hit list in a girl's restroom (the girl who did it is a friend of mine on myspace.) We were stuck in 3rd period for 2 hours while cops opened EVERY locker. I was to give Bill a ride to our house after school/play rehearsal, but his mom came and picked him up because of the school panic. Jeez.

Well, i was pissed off because he left and i was not told. I had a teacher call the office, and they confirmed his departure. I was depressed. Keli (a mutual friend) was suppose to hang out with us, and spend the weekend, but she didn't come to school! I was pissed.....

Well, i called Bill's mom and she told me to call her home. I do, Jackie picks up. She's nice, but Bill's busy. Me/my mom/My sister bitch about nothing till Bill arrives on Jackie's motorcycle with Jackie at the wheel! LOL. Awesome entrance.

Bill admits to me that he never gets tired of saying that I'm his best friend...

We were in the kitchen and he gave me a hug out of nowhere, and i gave him a hug back, but i hurt his sun burn and i felt so bad.

Later that night, me and Bill go off to meet Keli, and Jordan (another friend) in town.

We all get high (my first time!)

When its dark and we are walking around, Bill tells me to 'come here.' I go over to him and he puts his arm on my shoulder, and gives a fake kiss on my cheek. His lips didn't touch my face :laugh:

It was cool. We all just hung out, and then we all just crashed at my house for the night.

Saturday

Keli leaves. Me/Bill/Jordan hang out. We all get high AGAIN! Jordan leaves. Me and Bill hang out.

Jordan comes back, and spends the night, because he didn't have a ride home from work.

Bill talks to TARA'S COUSIN TILL 5 IN THE MORNING ON MY PHONE. I WAS Sitting here, pissed/jealous/sick. I kicked him off at 5. He asked if he disgusted me, and i said no. He said 'if you want to hit me, hit me' in a polite way, though. I was upset. I gave him a safe hug (trying not to hurt his sun burn) and i said i was happy for him (he asked Franky, Tara's cousin, out.) :( I made him promise not to talk to Franky on my time, and he agreed.

He asked 'what are you trying to say' when i was hugging him.

Sunday 4/22

Jordan left. Keli comes back over. We get high again. Me/Bill go to my house.

He knew i was upset. He said 'if you start crying-' then he stopped.

Jackie came and got him (motorcycle), and i broke down.

part 3 is coming
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #163 on: April 29, 2007, 06:41:52 pm »
(Tappps foot on the floor impatiently and consumes and entire bag of potato chips) 8)
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

injest

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #164 on: April 29, 2007, 07:01:56 pm »
(Tappps foot on the floor impatiently and consumes and entire bag of potato chips) 8)

TRUMAN!

 >:( >:(

tsk tsk tsk!

Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #165 on: April 30, 2007, 04:56:00 pm »
Thanks :(

i've been hanging in there.

part 3 is coming

Good things come to those who wait.  I envy the affection he shows you.   Regardless to which way he flies, he is totally comfortable with his masculinity.  Rare.

peace  :)
br. patrick
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin

Offline Lumière

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #166 on: May 18, 2007, 08:56:13 pm »
Hey Phoenix!

You've been missing in action around here lately..
I hope life goes well!  :)


~M


Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #167 on: May 22, 2007, 10:00:36 pm »
to make a long story short...


me and Bill's family WAS fighting, his family sucks. He isn't allowed at my house anymore, and he isn't allowed to call me on the phone...........


I'm being forced to move away from it allllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!

damn it.
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #168 on: May 22, 2007, 10:03:31 pm »
Sounds like a major bummer there bud, when your ready, we'll be listening/reading. Hang in there.

Do you graduate this year? I can't remember.
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #169 on: May 23, 2007, 04:17:32 pm »
When Bill turns 18 (a year from this Sunday!) he's coming to move in with me :D


hehehehehe


but till then, we smoke during school, and have fun flirting with Freshmen girls at lunch.


life isn't bad, but i don't want to move >:(
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k