Author Topic: I miss you on weekends  (Read 145185 times)

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #70 on: December 04, 2006, 07:59:58 pm »
Okay, well, i came out to my sister without saying I was gay. I said "I'm in love with a friend of mine...........................who happens to be a boy.' Than i panicked, and the tears came straight out. I raised my hand to my mouth, Ennis-style, and i just rocked myself kind of. Her voice didn't change at all, she didn't seem suprised at all, and its crazy! She asked some questions that i couldn't quite answer because i was having a panic attack!  :(

but she wasn't mad, and she wasn't disappointed. I think she was proud that i came to her. my mom was thundering above us, ranting on, so we didn't get to talk any more than two minutes >:(

She has a lesbian cousin who is emailing me now, giving me someone to talk too.

I'm still having these overwhelming attacks, like after i watched Brokeback. They're compulsive, and they scare the crap out of me. I still can't believe i told her.
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Lumière

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #71 on: December 04, 2006, 08:24:34 pm »
Hey Phoenix!

Good on you for going through with it and telling your sister!  Even if you panicked, important thing is that you told someone who cares for you and didn't judge you.  :)  I hope you find another moment to talk to her some more when you two are alone for a while ..

Remember .. deep breaths ..  :) and more courage to you !  :)


Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #72 on: December 04, 2006, 08:28:50 pm »
2 weeks, day before my birthday, i get to see her again ;)
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #73 on: December 05, 2006, 04:22:00 pm »
Way to go Dude! I am proud out of! You are off on the right path, and your building a base of support with in your family.

Yes, take deep breaths, and drink plenty of water too.

(Do people still used the term dude? I dunno.....)
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #74 on: December 05, 2006, 05:01:55 pm »
they use DUDE like tissue, only when they have to.
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline notBastet

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #75 on: December 05, 2006, 05:44:29 pm »
Way to go Dude! I am proud out of! You are off on the right path, and your building a base of support with in your family.

Yes, take deep breaths, and drink plenty of water too.

(Do people still used the term dude? I dunno.....)

I still use the term 'dude'....
 ;D
But maybe I'm oldish...

Hi rebel, thanks for sharing with us.
“It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself” - Heath Ledger

Offline Lynne

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #76 on: December 09, 2006, 06:45:45 am »
Phoenix,
I am very proud of you - what you've done took so much courage, I can barely comprehend it.  I agree that you and your sister need some alone time to really talk about things.  You've come a million miles already - please don't let others discourage you!
Lynne
« Last Edit: December 13, 2006, 04:41:29 am by Lynne »
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #77 on: December 09, 2006, 02:51:04 pm »
Thanks ;)



i've been in a writing mood lately, though this past week wasn't too kind. I ended up gong off at a girl at school, for some stupd reason, then i went off on people on my bus....


IDK, i just don't like some people :laugh:


My attempt to write a more 'adult' poem.


Goodbye

I sit and wonder what goes through that head of yours
Who crosses your mind when your eyes go obscure?
Longing for tomorrow, having you near contiguous
the greek fire burns, and I am oblivious

Why don't you say goodbye?
Why won't you just lie?
Say you'll miss some part of me
The smile you put on me?
Erase it does when you don't say goodbye
The plug is pulled
The lights dim
I am at grim

I lay in envy as you rise
confidence in blindness,
sensitively courageous,
society will kill us

But still you laugh and crawl
And i must too
As I know I'll be the one to fall
Why won't you call?

Damn you, and your invisible lie
Tell me the truth, don't defy
You know i will always be here
my dear
just say goodbye!

Continue to lie,
And you'll see
What this will do to me

Say goodbye
Try to lull
I just may fall
Just say goodbye
Or don't leave at all...
"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k

Offline Shakesthecoffecan

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #78 on: December 11, 2006, 03:34:51 pm »
So what do you hear from you sister these days? what color is the sky in your world? 8)
"It was only you in my life, and it will always be only you, Jack, I swear."

Offline RebelWithASmile

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Re: I miss you on weekends
« Reply #79 on: December 11, 2006, 08:08:57 pm »
she is having her lesbian cousin email me, but she hasn't emailed me in about a week :( same thing for Bill. I'm expecting to be emailed any minute now!


weird, me and Bill had a short talk about relationships and love, and all i thought and said was 'love these days is nothing more than infatuation.' I gave him a dollar, and luckily he didn't give it to some girl this time!

He knows all i want is love, not sex, in a relationship. But, i'm glad he isn't like most guys, as i'm sure i would of been laughed at to hell if he was.


"He was very afraid of being hurt. He was afraid of opening up in case it was turned around and used against him."


Heaven holds a sense of wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0VVoScBd4k