Author Topic: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...  (Read 8768 times)

Offline ednbarby

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Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« on: October 12, 2006, 02:45:56 pm »
... over the time you've been a part of the Chez Tremblay/BetterMost community?

In my case, it would seem not very much in the last six months.  I say it would seem because I still have the same job, live in the same house, am married to the same man, have the same small (but not so small anymore) child...

But what most people in the outside world don't know but most people here do is that I've made the following changes since March:

1.) I've vowed to never watch the Academy Awards again.  Easiest habit-kicking I've ever done, easiest decision I've ever made.  (And for those who don't know, I was an Oscars buff and aficionado for over 20 years - never missed the awards show, made sure to see all five Best Picture nominees, even tried to catch the nominations live every chance I could.  Quoth the raven...)

2.) I call people on it whenever they make bigoted slurs of any kind, whether they're racist, ethnocentric, misogynistic or homophobic.  Every single time.  I don't care who you are or what the context is, I *will* call you on it.  Yes, I've become a real pain in the neck where this is concerned.  And I'm proud of that.

3.) I'm no longer ashamed to refer to myself as an atheist.  I really think that's largely because of the kindred spirits and support I've found in that particular area here.  When someone asks me now if I "go to church," I say, "No.  That would be hypocritical of me, seeing as I'm an atheist."  Nice thing about that is it shuts them up right away - at least about that subject, anyway.  I haven't lost any friends over it yet, that I know of.  And if I do, it's their loss.  I don't question why they go to church - they shouldn't question why I don't.

4.) I give regularly to the Matthew Shepard Foundation and wear the purple wrist band that signifies my support of it.  Should have started doing that long ago, but Brokeback Mountain was the clincher.

5.) I've made and met some wonderful friends - people I would have never had the honor and privilege to even know existed otherwise.  Of all these things, that's what I'm most grateful for.
No more beans!

Offline Kelda

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2006, 08:35:03 am »
This is the start of me completing all those 'celebrating 6 months' posts.. thought this was the easiest one!

So, how has my life changed?

The obvious one is that I've made (and hope to meet at some point) some great friends.Like Barb, people I would have never had the honor and privilege to even know existed otherwise. 

The second one is that I've fallen in love. And I think that is at least in part because of Brokeback and my friends here.

I met Callum (and I hate telling people this generally as you get some odd looks) through myspace. Yes myspace - now I was not looking for a relationship when i went on myspace and have never been on a dating site - but I was just surfing and having a look at people's profiles who lived nearby in between posting on IMDB tremblay. I came across him - liked his profile - seemed like a cool guy with similar interests. So I sent a slightly flirty message. we started up a whole online conversations And it all went from there.

I had been single for nearly 2 and a half years (after ending a realationship of 6 years that had gone bad - the guy treated me very badly in the end - although not physically, but love is blind and all that) and had been on only 2 dates in that time. I was fine being single but was a little depressed that I had noone special in my life. I think BBM helped me open up my emotions and realise that there was someone out there for me and it was going to happen when it was going to happen, and not to worry to much but that I might have to take some chances here and there. 

My relationships with people online via Brokeback made me realise you could make some good adult friendships online and this made me more open to doing the same on myspace and therfore I took the iniaitive of actually contacting Callum.

It was after talking to Jenny (newyearsday) and a friend in 'real life' - i thought b*gger it - and took the plunge and agreed to a date with Callum.

After I met him - I thought he was lovely but too nice. I actually found conversations I had with Ray and Jenny the other day about him and it was funny looking back. but they said - whats wrong with a nice boy? he might be great for you. Whats the harm in a second date. i went and have been seeing him ever since.

I am totally in love. He feels the same. He basically lives at my house from a Friday night to a monday morning. My mother loves him, my sister loves him, my nieces now love him more than they love me these days and ask to speak to Uncle Callum everytime I answer the phone to them! And my friends think hes a great guy too. We had a great time on a holiday - when it could have all gone wrong and the plan is he'll move in properly after Christmas.

This is a picture of us at my best mates 1960's murder mystery party.

Thankyou BBM!!


EdiT: reducing size of pic cos it was HUGEEEEE!!!
« Last Edit: October 13, 2006, 08:42:58 am by kelda_shelton »
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Offline belbbmfan

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2006, 01:56:10 pm »
Kelda,
i just had to reply. what a truely wonderful story! good for you. And yes you can make friendship (well, in your case a lot more  :)) online.
i went to the brokie meeting in london in september. if someone had told me 'pre BBM' i was going to do that, i would have declared him/her nuts. But is was wonderful, felt like i had known the other brokies for a long time.

it certainly does feel like a priviledge, being a part of this community.

nice picture too  :)
best of luck to you two!
« Last Edit: October 13, 2006, 03:45:46 pm by belbbmfan »
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Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2006, 02:44:59 pm »
That's so sweet Kelda! Love the hat!
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Offline Toast

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Happy Ninth Brokeback
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2006, 03:45:55 pm »
The New Yorker Magazine

Just a note to remind everyone that it was on October 13, 1997
NINE YEARS AGO
that Annie Proulx saw the publication of
Brokeback Mountain
in this edition of The New Yorker Magazine.

since then it has appeared in their magazine as
a movie review,
a spoken word recording by Suzy Amis
and grist for their cartoons

What if I dont want to be Jack or Ennis.


Thank You Annie and The  New Yorker
for getting Brokeback off to a start.


Offline Penthesilea

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2006, 06:26:47 pm »
Kelda,

I second every word of belbbmfan. Such a nice and heartwarming story! All the best for you two.


i went to the brokie meeting in london in september. if someone had told me 'pre BBM' i was going to do that, i would have declared him/her nuts. But is was wonderful, felt like i had known the other brokies for a long time.

it certainly does feel like a priviledge, being a part of this community.


Awww, so sweet. And it reflects my own thoughts. I never ever would have believed it possible for me. Never would have believed I might be even interested in doing such a thing. Let alone fly to London for this purpose.
And what you said about our Euro Brokie meeting was so true. Missin' ya all  :-*


What changed in my life?

The most important thing is that I found a new friend. Kerstin. I've told the story before, so I will keep it short: we knew each other before, but weren't friends. We never met privately, never went out together, not once. Till that day when I was looking for someone to accompany me to see BBM in theatre and I decided to call her.
We saw BBM together, we were both overwhelmed, we needed to see it again (and again and again...). We noticed we had more in common than our obsession for BBM and the rest is history.


BetterMost: I've been a member of an internet forum before (a forum for dog owners). But I was never as much involved as I am here. The feeling is different. It's not only factually targeted, not only about the movie/story (although it's still the most important thing to me here), but also about the people, about the community. I found people here whose opinions I hold in high regard, people I really like, as if I knew them in person. Like Kelda and Fabienne said: it's possible to make friendhsip online.

The Euro Brokie meeting: it was an extraoridinary and enthusing experience for me.

I learned something about myself. That I'm able to become obsessed with something. That a movie can actually change people's lifes.

After half a year, I still don't know exactly why it hit me so hard. Although I have found some reasons, but not the one and only, big, stand-alone reason that would explain it. But maybe that's not as important as I thought some months ago. I take it like it is and am grateful for it.

My houshold is a mess. I was never good at housekeeping and am a bit worse now.

My English skills have improved.

I've learned that it is still a big deal to be gay or not in the US. It may be, no: it sure is, a big deal for some people in Europe, too. But not in general. I'm always taken aback and appalled when I read someone telling that s/he actually had friends/family members who turned their back on them because they're gay. Unthinkable when I think of my own relatives, family and friends.

Two (fictitious) people have found a place in my heart.
« Last Edit: October 13, 2006, 06:43:17 pm by Penthesilea »

Offline Pipedream

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #6 on: October 14, 2006, 04:13:59 pm »

Kelda!!!
What a great love story and what a fantastic picture! Congratulations! Yeah, men with lovely dark brown eyes are the best. I married one myself! ;)

And Chrissi, I hope you don't mind me re-posting that cute pic of you and Kerstin from the Euro Brokie meeting here. Just had to dig that one up again (there's no reins on this one...). ;D



What has changed for me? Pretty much the same as for you guys, I guess. I've made a lot of wonderful new cyberfriends, some of whom I have had the priviledge to actually meet and some of whom I at least talked to on the phone (for example Kelda!). I've done some travelling, I wouldn't have dreamed of doing one year ago and I have probably spent more time sitting in front a computer than is considered healthy...
And it's all because of you I'm like this! There is a movie we all love, yeah. But it's the people on here and, of course, our fantastic host Phillip, who make it feel home. Thanks for that.

My household? Don't ask. I also have almost completely given up watching television. It's not worth my time. You people are!

 :-*
     
« Last Edit: October 14, 2006, 04:15:50 pm by Pipedream »

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2006, 09:55:17 am »
[
And Chrissi, I hope you don't mind me re-posting that cute pic of you and Kerstin from the Euro Brokie meeting here. Just had to dig that one up again (there's no reins on this one...). ;D

I don't mind at all. I like this picture very much (and Kerstin likes it, too).

Quote
I also have almost completely given up watching television.

I forgot that one. Same here.
« Last Edit: October 15, 2006, 10:04:13 am by Penthesilea »

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2006, 04:04:00 pm »
Yes, I also rarely watch TV anymore. Not that I did before.

How has my life changed? It's gotten very topsy-turvy. (Good T word  ::) See what I mean?) Before BBM, I was just goin through the motions. Commutin four hours a day. . . Come in to camp for supper and breakfast, go back to the job, evenin get em bedded down, spend half the night jumpin up and checkin for coyotes. I was dead, emotionally. Now, it's all different. For instance, the other day I went to a concert. I told my family that a friend (from this board) had invited me to a concert and one of my children gasped in amazement, "Mom, you have a friend?" They don't have any concept of me as not only a friend to somebody, but a FRont Ranger. That would completely blow their minds.

'Nother example for you. My spouse got on the board and read everything I'd written, since I had logged in "forever." I suppose he thinks I've changed a lot but I am actually just waking up from a long mental sleep where I raised my children and provided for my family. Recently, he and I were having dinner together and he referred to something I'd written, and then he said, "I am Giancarlo." I was startled that he would actually register on the board and start posting things in order to reach out to me. I was touched, and said that was so sweet. But then I realized that Giancarlo was a gay man living in the Los Angeles area and there's no way that my husband could have written the things he did. I asked, "Is that the truth?" and he said no, he was just joking with me. And then I started crying and I just could not stop. Yea, topsy-turvy, that's the word for it.
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Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Celebrating Six Months: How has your life changed...
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2006, 02:55:19 am »
Lee, did you tell your kid that you are the social coordinator for your huge group of friends now?  :)