Author Topic: On Caregiving  (Read 65864 times)

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #260 on: September 05, 2017, 11:28:08 am »
Thank you, these messages are very comforting. I've found as a caregiver that most people do not want to hear about the caregiving experience. You are my true friends for reading and responding. Most people have one of three reactions, I've found. It's either, "Hearing about some elderly person getting close to death makes me think about my own aging and mortality so don't talk about it," or "I would like to help, how can I help, but don't ask me to actually do any caregiving myself" or "You're spending so much time on your mother that you don't have any time or energy left to do things for me." Of course, they don't come right out and say these things but you can tell.
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #261 on: September 05, 2017, 11:35:22 am »
Thank you, these messages are very comforting. I've found as a caregiver that most people do not want to hear about the caregiving experience. You are my true friends for reading and responding. Most people have one of three reactions, I've found. It's either, "Hearing about some elderly person getting close to death makes me think about my own aging and mortality so don't talk about it," or "I would like to help, how can I help, but don't ask me to actually do any caregiving myself" or "You're spending so much time on your mother that you don't have any time or energy left to do things for me." Of course, they don't come right out and say these things but you can tell.

IMO, blogs are at least partly for venting. Oh, this isn't your blog, is it? Never mind. Go ahead and write about it all you want. I'm sure it's good for you, rather than keeping it all in.

As for me, I've got my own old person who may or may not be close to death to remind me of my own mortality, and, this Sunday, boy was it ever!
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #262 on: September 05, 2017, 04:35:18 pm »
I don't even have an old person anymore! I'm starting to remind myself of my own mortality.  :laugh:  Actually, the younger person in my household reminds me of it, too, though not always in straightforward language.



Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #263 on: September 05, 2017, 09:24:07 pm »
I'm thinking about collecting a few tips for what people can do when visiting residents of a nursing facility. It's the little things that make all the difference.
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Offline serious crayons

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #264 on: September 06, 2017, 10:39:58 am »
I'm thinking about collecting a few tips for what people can do when visiting residents of a nursing facility. It's the little things that make all the difference.

Excellent idea!  :D




Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #265 on: September 06, 2017, 06:43:23 pm »
Here are a few examples. A fly was bothering Mom and actually landing on her face and hands. I didn't have my bug jar with me to trap and release it outside, so I swatted at it several times until it got the hint and took off for pleasanter pastures.

I always take lens towelettes to clean Mom's glasses. They get full of fingerprints so she really can't see well at all. I also put eye drops in her eyes. Especially lately because the smoke from all the wildfires is irritating.

I think I mentioned about the colored drinking straws. The plastic drinking glasses are colorless and hard to see, and the straws are also transparent. I brought colored ones in that are easier for Mom to see and so she can get more of the precious water that helps her stay alive. Sadly, both the orange plastic cup and the plastic bag with 6 or 7 drinking straws disappeared out of her room.  :'(

On a more general note, why do tech things always have to be black? Why do they have to be black so you can't see your effing phone in your effing purse? And furthermore, why do black tech things always have to have tiny tiny buttons that are also black and flush with the surface of the effing tech thingy, not recessed or raised? Why o why o why??  >:(
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #266 on: September 07, 2017, 09:19:20 am »
Why do tech things always have to be black?

Do they/are they? On the subway this morning I saw a young woman with a pink i-Phone.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #267 on: September 07, 2017, 10:07:14 am »
Do they/are they? On the subway this morning I saw a young woman with a pink i-Phone.

If it was bright pink, that would have been a protective plastic case. Those come in all colors and patterns. But iPhones themselves come in pink-gold metallic as well as regular gold, silver, black and possibly white. Mine is regular gold. When I buy things like that, I do think about making it easy to find them in my purse. It's rarely a problem with my purse, because I keep my phone in a special pocket by itself. I like purses with lots of sections and pockets, also for this reason. And my current purse, while black on the outside, has multiple pockets and sections and is lined in lime green, which also aids findability.

In a marketing training I attended last week, the guy told the story of how Apple decided to distinguish itself by producing its computers in a variety of bright colors. Then they hired Steve Jobs back (after he'd been banished for a while) and he said nope, we're going to make everything white. And to this day, white -- in its products and its stores -- is a big factor in Apple's "brand."

Those are all good ideas, though, Lee. Maybe the next time someone screws up your best-laid plans by taking your mother's colorful straws, for example, you could leave a note, either asking for their return or asking them to please not take her things.

Before you write your book, I highly recommend reading Atul Gawande's Being Mortal. He talks a lot about depersonalization in nursing homes and some successful efforts (by rare administrators, not by patients or families) to fight it.





Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #268 on: September 07, 2017, 10:11:37 am »

Before you write your book, I highly recommend reading Atul Gawande's Being Mortal. He talks a lot about depersonalization in nursing homes and some successful efforts (by rare administrators, not by patients or families) to fight it.


What issue was that in? I've looked through all my issues but haven't found it. I also looked online and couldn't find it either (I was rushed, as I always am, these days).
May 2019 be better for us all.

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: On Caregiving
« Reply #269 on: September 07, 2017, 10:30:42 am »
Before you write your book, I highly recommend reading Atul Gawande's Being Mortal. He talks a lot about depersonalization in nursing homes and some successful efforts (by rare administrators, not by patients or families) to fight it.

He was on BBC World News America yesterday evening.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.