On Caregiving

[serious crayons]

As someone who has gone through the belongings thing, I can make it easy for him: the answer is probably zero.

You can barely even give china away, let alone sell it. I still have my grandmother's 12-setting nice Spode china and am planning to give it to the woman who's cleaning my house to get it ready for sale. She's from Mexico and goes to church every day. She says many of the people at her church are migrants and could really use household items like dishes. So at least it's going to people who can use it.

You can sell silver if it's sterling. It gets melted down. For a long time I thought my grandmother's was plate. Then one day I put on my reading glasses and, wow, it's sterling! I sold it for $500.

If his mom has a lot of nice stuff, the simplest thing would be to hire someone who does estate sales. They'll take a big percentage but they'll handle all the details of pricing, displaying, advertising, etc. Trying to sell things by the piece or hold your own sale is pretty time consuming.

[brianr]

We found the same when my Mother died, very sad as such lovely things that she had treasured. One dealer gave us a small token amount to take them off our hands but said he would have to find somewhere to store it. When my sister and I went overseas we bought Mum dolls dressed in each country's native dress. Mum had a special cabinet for them and always worried about what would happen to them. Being a school librarian (although I was secondary), I was able to advertise on the School Librarian's lists and it finally went to a Primary (Elementary) school where they were wrapped in it, do not know what has happened 12 years later.  We had a small plaque "In memory of.." put in the cabinet and paid for delivery although it was in the same trip as delivering Mum's night 'n day bed to my home (she had bought it so I could stay overnight with her). My old lounge was in bad repair. That night 'n day bed later came with me to NZ and is my main TV lounge but has not been used as a bed since Mum died in 2006.
I am horrified to think that someone would be discussing what will happen with his Mother's things before she has died. You might have private thoughts but not openly discuss it. (Unless his Mother wants to discuss as with my Mother's dolls).

[serious crayons]

Regarding my own mother's things, I am very lucky. She painted for years -- big oil paintings, mostly of buildings. Her main job was as an advertising copywriter but her paintings were not amateurish. She used to display them in exhibits and juried shows. In high school, I became friends with a girl whose parents, I later discovered, had one of my mom's paintings hanging in their house.

I really like the paintings and have them all over my own house. I have a few other things of my mom's, too, but whenever I have to get rid of anything of hers I don't feel as bad about it knowing that I'll always have the paintings. They meant more to her than a vase or something.

Yesterday a couple of friends came over to do some small repairs around my house. The man, a friend since high school named Terry, sidelines as a handyman. When he left he said that when I die he wants the painting she did of a porch, from the perspective of someone on the porch looking out on the ocean. I said I'd put his name on the back and I think I'll do that. My brother will probably take most of the paintings but wouldn't begrudge Terry, who is his friend as well.

Of course we don't know which of us will go in what order. Terry smokes cigarettes, but he's in better shape than me. It's sad how when you pass 60 you start thinking about things like that more seriously. But then, any of us could get hit by a bus at any time.

[Front-Ranger]

I agree with you, Brian, that I wish people would not obsess on their relatives things as the relatives lie in a hospital bed. Things are things, and people are human beings (at least most of them, anyway). I'm trying to get my friend R. to see that. He says that he's only thinking about the value of his mom's things because he wants to sell them to get more money for his mom to be able to pay her nursing home bills. However, new developments are that R.'s mom is probably headed for hospice. She fell because her blood sugar levels were very high, who knows for how long, and that caused a lot of damage. 

That said, your points about how times have changed and people don't value old things is spot on. The eldest daughter in my mother's family had some lovely silver, china, glassware and such. Somehow I ended up with most of it. My mom was trying to raise money (although she had plenty, she thought she was destitute) one time so I paid her $1K for the china and $500 for the silver. I had seen several sets of silver go to other members of the families and started thinking maybe I wasn't going to ever get any! I still have the silver and use it quite often. I gave the china to my daughter as a wedding present. She has it all packed away (with 4 small children!) and only uses the gravy boat. I also gave her lots of crystal glassware. I have many other things of value but nothing you could sell to raise $Ks quickly except my real estate and car. Even then, you would get pennies on the dollar.

I'm not a collector; can you really make money doing that? Recently I ran across a half dozen comic books I bought in the 1980s. All of them except one were worth $1-$2 dollars today, the same as when I bought them. One is supposedly worth $200-$300 but I wouldn't know how to go about selling it.

[serious crayons]

Could you try eBay? Or there are probably sites for that specific purpose.

I'll have to say I myself rarely used my grandmother's china. It's lovely -- and it can even go in the dishwasher! -- but it's just easier to use my regular plates, I almost never throw formal dinners, and the china is harder to eat off of because of its bumpy ruffled texture.

But, like your daughter, I do use the gravy boat. Plus a couple of serving dishes and a few little plates.

I have a box of crystal champagne glasses. I haven't checked yet, but they may be easier to sell than the china. However, they're the old style of wide flat champagne glasses, whereas flutes are now preferred.

I tried selling some of the china to Replacements.com, which buys things buy the piece. Pieces in my Spode pattern was worth anywhere from zero to $3 to $10 to maybe $40, depending on the size and the quantity they have in stock. I realized that by the time I paid to have them professionally packed and shipped I might just break even.

[brianr]

I collect Hummel figurines https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hummel_figurines, although I think I have enough now. I bought the first when I visited Bavaria in 1974, 76 and 80. Some I bought for Mum and have inherited them (My sister took the Royal Doulton and I  took the Hummel) Now they are too dear there now but I have picked up some on Trademe (NZ version of Ebay)
My mother also had 2 Chinese vases which my sister took and had in her entry vestibule with a tile floor.. My Brother- in-law came home slightly drunk one night and swung his arm around, so one ended up in a million pieces. Another reason for disliking him (there are many). I saw similar advertised for about $1000.

[Jeff Wrangler]

If I had a set of china that valuable, and four small children, I'd keep that china packed away, too.

[Front-Ranger]

I have a box of crystal champagne glasses. I haven't checked yet, but they may be easier to sell than the china. However, they're the old style of wide flat champagne glasses, whereas flutes are now preferred.

Use them as dessert glasses then! That's what I do with mine!

[serious crayons]

That would be a great idea, except I never make that kind of dessert. I pretty much never make sweets, period. I might buy a bakery cake for a family birthday. Some years around the holidays I might bake a batch of cookies, but even then I'm more likely to make cheese straws (I have a great recipe, obtained when I lived in New Orleans).

But I agree that if I ever were to do that, those glasses would be a cool way to serve it.

One dessert that would be good this time of year is grilled peaches or plums, perhaps with a scoop of ice cream or whipped cream. Those would be good candidates for the champagne-glass treatment! 

[CellarDweller]

If I had a set of china that valuable, and four small children, I'd keep that china packed away, too.

I would too!