Finally, it was Mom's physical therapist who figured the mystery out. There were mineral crystals in her inner ear and, when she turned her head, these crystals would bend the little hairs inside the ear and distort her sense of balance. The PT led Mom through a series of exercises or positionings that got rid of the crystals and then she had some relief for a few months until the problem built up again. I learned later that this is a very common and widespread problem.
That's the kind of information I needed to have and would like people to know so they don't have to go through the miserable waits in doctor's offices, the falls, and the brain-wracking that I had to.
I've heard of this phenomenon, too! It's so weird that you and I and Brian and Jeff have all heard of it, but somehow it eluded her doctors. Go figure. I think you're right that doctors sometimes give women, probably especially older women, some standardized diagnosis without really investigating their problem.
My mom didn't have that problem, but what happened to her was that her doctor diagnosed her with Alzheimer's without telling anyone. Early on, I asked my mom to ask her doctor about memory issues and she said she would, then when she got back from the doctor I asked if she'd asked about the memory issues and she said "What memory issues?"
Eventually I found a prescription bottle of Aricept in her cupboard and I knew what that was for. I immediately switched doctors. I understand that her previous doctor may have been constrained by HIPAA from telling me about it, but surely there would have been a way for her (the doctor) to say she'd like to talk to a family member, gotten my name and my mom's permission, etc. I switched her to a youngish doctor who specialized in older patients and on the very first visit I accompanied her and listened as he told her (gently) he believed she had Alzheimer's. She didn't react and never spoke of it. I don't know if she didn't understand or just didn't want to discuss it. She was a very private person.
The one thing I blame that doctor for, though, is not immediately supplying me with contact info for a bunch of resources. The Alzheimer's Society, for example, would have been a good start! And there are others. The society has a website full of information and guidance, support groups, etc. But I didn't think of contacting them and thus just tried to gradually figure out on my own how to help her.
I haven't seen this disconnect covered, except to say that your aging parent will not be sensitive to you, they are all wrapped up in their own problems and so you have to be patient and kind. Easy to say, sometimes hard to do. I only developed the maturity to cope with these kind of disconnects about a year before she died. I have to say that it was my faith in God that helped me over the hurdle.
Like Brian, I had a different experience. My mother was never impatient. I was kind of impatient myself, because she walked extremely slowly and I would have to slow my pace way down when we went places together. But my mom was mostly pretty cheerful -- especially, surprisingly, as her disease got worse. I often think that Alzheimer's, in and of itself, is actually not a terribly unpleasant disease for the person suffering it. It's awful for the loved ones, who also know the patient would find it awful if she knew what was happening.
Anyway, sounds like you have a lot of material for your article!
