On Caregiving

[serious crayons]

Ah, ok.  Whenever my mother visited, she was allowed to sit with her mom in the eating area (not sure what they called it) and they would give mom a plate of whatever they were serving for lunch.

I've done that too, with my mom, and it reminded me of the classic joke. "The food in the dining area is terrible!" "Yes, and such small portions!"

[CellarDweller]

Of course we had to pay for that dinner with my grandparents. Mennonites can be pretty tight-fisted. 

lmao!   The facility always gave my mom the meal, there was no charge.

I've done that too, with my mom, and it reminded me of the classic joke. "The food in the dining area is terrible!" "Yes, and such small portions!"

[Jeff Wrangler]

You belong to a church, though. A church community can really step up at times when a member needs help.

Sorry, Katherine, I missed this post. I do hope my church community would step up and help.

I seem to remember writing a long time ago that I thought this was one reason to be a member of a church.

[Front-Ranger]

I always take my own meals when I sit with Mom in the dining room. I could not abide all that mushy food and doughy stuff, although they are much better than most. I do help myself to an iced tea. They have the best.

[Jeff Wrangler]

I always take my own meals when I sit with Mom in the dining room. I could not abide all that mushy food and doughy stuff, although they are much better than most. I do help myself to an iced tea. They have the best.

That Thanksgiving Dinner with Grandma and Grandpa was actually pretty good. Mennonites might be stingy when it comes to money, but they're good cooks.

[CellarDweller]

That Thanksgiving Dinner with Grandma and Grandpa was actually pretty good. Mennonites might be stingy when it comes to money, but they're good cooks.

 


I actually tried some of the food once when I was there, Lee, and it wasn't bad at all, actually.

[serious crayons]

Sorry, Katherine, I missed this post. I do hope my church community would step up and help.

I seem to remember writing a long time ago that I thought this was one reason to be a member of a church

An aunt gave me that advice a few years ago. I have thought about joining the Unitarian Church partly for that reason, but there's not one especially close to me and I'm lazy on Sunday mornings. If I were more inclined toward Christianity, I'd go to the church right behind my house. It non-denominational (it's called City Church), but it seems pretty liberal and community friendly. They let my neighborhood's community garden use a chunk of their property.

When my mom's Alzheimer's started to become obvious, her Unitarian pastor sought me out and invited me to coffee to discuss it. The pastor shared her own experience with her mother-in-law. And I'm sure I've told this story a million times, but after my mom died they let us use the church for her memorial even though she hadn't attended in years. My brother and I mainly just wanted to use the space and didn't expect anything more than that. But the pastor, who had never met her, gave a beautiful eulogy based on a long conversation with me and a look through some of her papers. They supplied AV equipment so we could play her favorite Joan Baez songs. And the church ladies made bars!

[Jeff Wrangler]

An aunt gave me that advice a few years ago. I have thought about joining the Unitarian Church partly for that reason, but there's not one especially close to me and I'm lazy on Sunday mornings. If I were more inclined toward Christianity, I'd go to the church right behind my house. It non-denominational (it's called City Church), but it seems pretty liberal and community friendly. They let my neighborhood's community garden use a chunk of their property.

So am I. If the church where I'm a member now wasn't just around the corner, I probably wouldn't be attending either.

When my mom's Alzheimer's started to become obvious, her Unitarian pastor sought me out and invited me to coffee to discuss it. The pastor shared her own experience with her mother-in-law. And I'm sure I've told this story a million times, but after my mom died they let us use the church for her memorial even though she hadn't attended in years. My brother and I mainly just wanted to use the space and didn't expect anything more than that. But the pastor, who had never met her, gave a beautiful eulogy based on a long conversation with me and a look through some of her papers. They supplied AV equipment so we could play her favorite Joan Baez songs. And the church ladies made bars!

That's very nice about your mother's memorial. Our family plot is more than an hour's drive away, in my parents' home town, so my aunt arranged for the use of the social hall in her church for a lunch after the burial, and the church ladies did the cooking. It wasn't just sandwiches and chips, either. It was a regular, hot, dinner-type meal.

[serious crayons]

Sorry, Katherine, I missed this post. I do hope my church community would step up and help.

I seem to remember writing a long time ago that I thought this was one reason to be a member of a church.

I was thinking later -- I'm pondering your issues when I'm not even online!  -- that you also have your leather club and watering hole. I'm not sure how much people at either place would step up if you needed help, but it's nice to be part of communities.

[Jeff Wrangler]

I was thinking later -- I'm pondering your issues when I'm not even online!  --

Awww. 

that you also have your leather club and watering hole. I'm not sure how much people at either place would step up if you needed help, but it's nice to be part of communities.

The club as a whole, less than you might expect. I know I could call on my friends Jim and Mike.

The Watering Hole, at least two of the guys who work there who have become pretty good friends (good enough that I've actually been told I'm missed when I'm away for the weekend). Maybe also one or two drinkin' buddies.

That's actually not a very large support group. I might turn to them first, but if they can't help for whatever reason, I could turn to the church. Churches have committees who do this sort of thing.