Author Topic: A collection of clever rhymes  (Read 795 times)

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2021, 02:24:21 pm »
This is an early Porter song from "See America First", 1916. 

"I've a Shooting Box in Scotland":


Nowadays, it's rather nobby
To regard one's private hobby
As the object of one's tenderest affections;
Some excel at Alpine climbing
Others have a turn for rhyming,
While a lot of people go in for collections.

Such as prints by Hiroshigi,
Edelweiss from off the Rigi,
Jacobean soup tureens,
Early types of limousines,
Pipes constructed from a dry cob,
Baseball hits by Mister Ty Cobb,
Locks of Mrs. Browning's hair,
Photographs of Ina Claire,
First editions still uncut,
Daily pranks of Jeff and Mutt,
Della Robia singing boys,
Signatures of Alfred Noyes,
Fancy bantams,
Grecian vases,
Tropic beetles,
Irish laces,
But my favorite pastime
Is collecting country places.

I've a shooting box in Scotland,
I've a chateau in Touraine,
I've a silly little chalet
In the Interlaken Valley,
I've a hacienda in Spain,
I've a private fjord in Norway,
I've a villa close to Rome,
And in traveling
It's really quite a comfort to know
That you're never far from home!

Now it's really very funny
What an awful lot of money
On exorbitant hotels a chap can squander;
But I never have to do so,
Like resourceful Mister Crusoe,
I can find a home however far I wander.

I've a bungalow at Simla,
I've an island east of Maine,
If you care for hotter places,
I've an African oasis
On an uninhabited plain;
I've a houseboat on the Yangtse,
I've an igloo up at Nome,
Yes, in traveling
It's really quite a comfort to know
That you're never far from home!

Having lots of idle leisure
I pursue a life of pleasure,
Like a rolling stone in constant agitation
For tho' stay-at-homes may cavil,
I admit I'd rather travel,
Than collect a crop of mossy vegetation!

I've a shanty in the Rockies,
I've a castle on the Rhine,
I've a Siamese pagoda,
I've a cottage in Fashoda,
Near the equatorial line!
On my sable farm in Russia
O'er the barren steppes we'll roam,
And in traveling
It's really quite a comfort to know
That you're never far from home.

Offline serious crayons

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2021, 03:35:23 pm »
From Li'l Wayne:

"Safe sex is great sex, Better wear a latex Cause you don't want that late text, That "I think I'm late" text"

Have I told you how much I love Li'l Wayne, my old neighbor in New Orleans? Of course, we didn't know each other -- he would have been about 10, but my street was the border of his neighborhood, Hollygrove. And he may well have attended the elementary school next door, named back then after Robert E. Lee.

Admittedly, I might not love his entire catalog. But I love this song and have listened to it approximately 200 times.

RIGHT ABOVE IT

Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We on, cause we on
Who else really tryna fuck with Hollywood Cole? I'm with Marley G bro
Flying Hollygrove chicks to my Hollywood shows
And I wanna tell you something that you prolly should know
This that Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow
And uh, my real friends never hearin' from me
Fake friends write the wrong answers on the mirror for me
That's why I pick and choose, I don't get shit confused
I got a small circle, I'm not with different crews
We walk the same path, but got on different shoes
Live in the same building, but we got different views
I got a couple cars I never get to use
Don't like my women single, I like my chicks in twos
And these days all the girls is down to roll
I hit the strip club and all them bitches find a pole
Plus I been sippin' so this shit is movin' kinda slow
Just tell my girl to tell her friend that it's time to go
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We on
It's Young Money motherfucker
If you ain't runnin' with it, run from it motherfucker
Alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch
And I got my B's with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig?
I got my gun in my boo purse
And I don't bust back because I shoot first
Meet me on the fresh train
Yes I'm in the building, you just on the list of guest names
And all of my riders do not give a fuck, X Games
Guns turn you boys into pussies, sex change
And I smoke 'til I got chest pains
And you niggas know I rep my gang like Jesse James
Women are possessive, and they wanna possess Wayne
I been fly so long I fell asleep on the fuckin' plane
Skinny pants and some Vans
Call me Triple A, get my advance in advance, Amen
As the world spin and dance in my hands
Life is a beach, I'm just playin' in the sand
Uh, wake up and smell the pussy
You niggas can't see me, but never overlook me
I'm on a paper trail, it ain't no tellin' where it took me
Yeah, and I ain't a killer but don't push me
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We on
It's Young Money motherfucker
If you ain't runnin' with it, run from it motherfucker
Alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch
And I got my B's with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig?
I got my gun in my boo purse
And I don't bust back because I shoot first
Uhh, how do he say what's never said?
Beautiful black woman, I bet that bitch look better red
Limpin' off tour cause I made more off my second leg
Motherfuckin' Birdman Junior, eleventh grade
Ball on automatic start
I could hand it to Drake or do a quarterback draw
Wildcat offense, check the paw prints
We in the building, you niggas in apartments
Uh, no-now c'mon be my blood donor
Flow so nice, you ain't gotta put a rug on her
Do it big and let the small fall under that
Damn, where you stumbled at?
From where they make gumbo at

Kane got the fuckin' beat jumpin' like a jumping jack
And you know me, I get on this bitch and have a heart attack
Hip Hop I'm the heart of that, nigga nothin' short of that
President Carter, Young Money Democrat
Uh
Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top when only heaven's right above it
We onnn
It's Young Money motherfucker
If you ain't runnin' with it, run from it motherfucker
Alright
Now somebody show some money in this bitch (yeah)
And I got my B's with me like some honey in this bitch, ya dig? (soo woo)
And I got my gun in my boo purse (5 Star)
And I don't bust back because I shoot first (yeahh, alright)


Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2021, 03:36:18 pm »
Some of these lyrics are Too Darn Hot, but they're all Wunderbar.  ;D
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #23 on: October 15, 2021, 12:40:05 pm »
In anticipation of next year's revival of "Funny Girl" with Beanie Feldstein, I re-watched the film.  "You Are Woman, I Am Man" is terribly non-PC, but has some fun rhymes.  I wonder if they'll edit it for the revival?


Nick:
You are woman
I am man
You are smaller, so I can be taller than
You are softer to the touch
It's a feeling I like
Feeling very much.
You are someone I've admired
Still, our friendship
Leaves something to be desired
Does it take more explanation than this?
You are woman, I am man
Let's kiss

Fannie:
Isn't this the height of nonchalance,
Furnishing a bed in restaurants?
Well, a bit of dinner never hurt
But guess who is gonna be dessert?
Do good girls do just what mama says
When mama's not around is a feeling
Oy vey, what a feeling.

Nick:
A bit of pate?

Fannie:
I drink it all day.

Should I do the things he'll tell me to?
In this pickle, what would Nellie do?
In my soul I feel an inner lack,
Just suppose he wants his dinner back?
Does it take more explanation than this?
(I love her description of pate):
Just some dried-out toast in a sliver
On the top a little chopped liver.

How many girls become a sinner
While waiting for a roast beef dinner?
Though most girls slip in ordinary ways
I got style, I do it bordelaise
Well, at least he thinks I'm special
He ordered a la carte.
It's a feeling I like
Feeling very
I feel the feeling down to my toes.
Now I feel there's a fire here
Try that once, a little higher, dear
What a beast to ruin such a pearl
Would a convent take a Jewish girl?
Does it take more explanation than this?
Ooo, the thrills and chills goin' through me
If I stop him now
Can he sue me? (Oy!!!)
You are woman...
You are man...
Let's kiss

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #24 on: October 15, 2021, 02:25:56 pm »
These are so delightful! I'm reading them whenever I feel down. Thank you, friend!

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #25 on: October 18, 2021, 10:47:53 am »
These are so delightful! I'm reading them whenever I feel down. Thank you, friend!

I'm glad you like them!

Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #26 on: October 18, 2021, 10:54:36 am »
This is a clever song from the Broadway show "City of Angels", by David Zippel and Cy Coleman.  Picture a split screen:  half the stage in color, featuring the author of popular detective novels, a nebbish named Stine; other half in black and white, featuring the dashing hero of said novels, Stone. 

YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME

STINE: You are some gumshoe
You just don't think well
Get this, dumb gumshoe,
You come from my inkwell
Is your mouth lonely
With one foot in there
Stone, your brain only
Holds thoughts I put in there
Just what you are I'll spell out
You are a novel pain
One speck of lint that fell out
The last time that I picked my brain

STONE: You are so jealous
Of my track record
Tolstoy, do tell us
Your feeble hack record
Your weak knees brand you
Soft and unstable
One small threat and you
Fold like a card table
You drool at my adventures
Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword

BOTH: You're nothing without me
A no-one who'd go undefined
You wouldn't exist
You'd never be missed

STINE: I tell you you're out of my mind

BOTH: A show off, a blowhard
You're equal parts hot air and gall
And no one would doubt me
Without me you're nothing at all

STINE: You're in my plot
I'm still your creator
I call each shot
I'm your private dic-tator

STONE: You are so thick, you
Eat, breathe, sleep fiction
I'm your meal ticket
Knee-deep in cheap fiction

STINE: You gloating ignoramus
You haven't any shame

STONE: Hey, I'm a famous shamus
And most people don't know your name

BOTH: You're nothing without me
Without me you'd just disappear
Right into thin air
And no one would care
Or notice you ever were here
A puppet, an upstart
A loser who's destined to fall
I'm everything you always wanted to be
Let's deal with the issue:
You wish you were me
You're nothing without me
Without me you're nothing
At all


Offline southendmd

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #27 on: October 18, 2021, 11:29:05 am »
Of course, by the end of the show, there is a resolution.  The guys now sing:

I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU

[Stine & Stone]
I'm nothing without you
Without you I lack what it takes
Unless we?re combined I have half a mind
To blow all my chances and breaks
Without you i'm bubkis
A flop who keeps dropping the ball
It's time to stop waking start taking the lead
And you are the singular buddy I need
To doubt you is where I went wrong
I?m nothing without you
Without you I'm nothing

[Stone, spoken]
Let's give this a Hollywood ending!

[Stone, Stine & Gabby, sung]
I'm nothing without you

[Stone Stine Both]
No hero
A zero
That's me

[Stone Gabby Stone, Stine & Gabby]
With you by my side
There's no better guide
On how to be all I can be
I'm nowhere without you
To doubt you is where I went wrong
The script calls for fusing and using our smarts
And greatness can come from the sum of our parts

[Company]
From now on I'm with you
And with you is where I belong.

A mash-up, with the original cast, including Gregg Edelman and James Naughton:

Offline Jeff Wrangler

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #28 on: October 18, 2021, 12:19:52 pm »
Well, I do rather like this:

Your broads in bed are bored
Go home and soak your dentures
Your pen is no match for my sword
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: A collection of clever rhymes
« Reply #29 on: October 18, 2021, 12:30:11 pm »
The minimalist approach and the maximalist!

I had a delightful evening on Saturday attending "Fall Follies with Gilbert and Sullivan" by the Empire Lyric Players. Some fantastic rhymes! I will hopefully get around to posting the best ones this week.